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Poskantoor – Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos?

In Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Alles Tos? deur griffin en Chopper CharlieRek jou bek

Ons (griffin & chopper) se boek, Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos? word hierdie jaar (2019) teen Augustus se kant 11 jaar oud. Om dit te celebrate het ons besluit om alfabeties met die lys af te gaan en ‘n paar topics uit die boek te kies om weekliks hier op Watkykjy te publish, seinde dat ons die regte besit. Dis lekker kort stukkies wat jy op die kakhuis kan lees. Dink daaraan as jou klein zef kakhuisbybeltjie met pitkos vir elke dag… Wel, elke dag tot ons die boek se einde bereik.

Wil jy ontslae raak van so ‘n paar huishoudelike items wat net stof opgaar en spasie opneem? Pos dit net aan jouself jou naaste Poskantoor. Jy sal dit nooit weer sien nie.
Ek het onlangs ‘n pakkie van Amerika in die pos ontvang met ‘n Poskantoor-plakker wat lui: “Oop of beskadig geving en amptelik deur die posowerheid toegemaak.” Julle kan maar eerlik wees met ons. Ons weet hoe dit daar gaan in die Toskantoor. Stuur asseblief my volgende pakkie met ‘n plakker wat tune: “Die posowerheid kon niks van waarde vir hulleself in die posstuk vind nie, maar het dit wel herseël met hierdie lelike bruin plakker wat jy nou lees.”
So terloops, Poskantoor, braai julle en Amazon al weer om dieselfde vuur, of is julle nog steeds so bietjie huilerig?

Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Al Tos is in 2008 geskryf en uitgegee en daar was so baie copies verkoop dat ons dit in 2009 laat herdruk het. All-in-all is daar nog net so 10 onverkoopte copies oor op aarde en ons sal teen Augustus se kant besluit wat om met hulle te maak. Kort antwoord – dis nie tans te koop nie.

griffin en Chopper CharliePoskantoor – Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos?
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Die Antwoord: Liar, liar baby’s on fire!

In Die Antwoord deur griffin12 Eiertjies

Die Antwoord – catch previous installments and coverage of  their bullshit behavior over here:

Mural in the background painted by Benjay Crossman. It took him a few days to complete the artwork. At the same time he was filming interviews with the Fietas kids while they were getting the ‘hood’ ready for the Baby’s on Fire music video.

Ninja and Yolandi have been very busy lately – mostly trying to suppress the video below by means of issuing take-down notices to Youtube users who upload their appalling behavior at a music festival in 2012 in Australia. Because getting rid of something quietly seems the better option, rather than talking about it and taking ownership and account for your actions. This video has been in circulation since towards the end of July, so there was plenty time for Die Antwoord to address the issue in public on their vast social platforms, but they have only now decided to issue some sort of public statement via Facebook. Why now? It is simple – the news reached mainstream media and got the attention of at least two festivals, the USA who have subsequently cancelled Die Antwoord’s performances – Kentucky festival, Louder Than Life and also apparently Life Is Beautiful in Las Vegas.

It seems that Die Antwoord’s atrocious  behavior is finally catching up with them. Time might also soon be up for those protecting Die Antwoord as they would rather stay silent and protect their careers within the entertainment industry. It is just a matter of time before someone gets thrown under the bus in stead of coming forward, standing up and doing the right thing before it is too late.

Watch the video and then go read Ninja’s explanation of how they did nothing wrong on their Facebook page
Ninja’s words are copied from his Facebook post in blue, followed by my comments.

Ninja speaking.
In relation to the“hate crime” video in Adeliaide filmed by our ex-cameraman Ben Crossman:
Ben has cleverly edited this video clip to make it seem like me and ¥o-landi commited a hate crime towards a person because they are gay. However Ben beat up the guy from Hercules himself while filming this same video clip. This was just a fight with someone who fucked with us. Not a hate crime.
This fight had nothing to with the fact that this guy was gay. 

Whenever a serious issue needs to (eventually) be addressed by Die Antwoord, Ninja switches over from his dumb “illiterate” use of street “gangster” language to his Park Town Boys High English. People have already forgotten the screen shots between himself and Zheani. Go look at more than 70 of them over here. 

However Ben beat up the guy from Hercules himself while filming this same video clip. This was just a fight with someone who fucked with us. Not a hate crime.

Apart from this being a flat out lie (which you can see in the video for yourself), take into consideration that Benjay was filming this incident with a Canon7D with a zoom lens. Apart from this camera and lens being new and fairly expensive back then, I just can’t imagine how anyone would get into a left-handed fistfight and beat up someone while filming with a  heavy camera with their right hand.

Ben has cleverly edited this video clip to make it seem like me and ¥o-landi committed a hate crime towards a person because they are gay.

Ninja needs to define what “cleverly edited” means, because this is exactly the dialogue of what went down in the firsts three and a half minutes of an uninterrupted, unedited clip:

Yo-Landi (laughing): Oh my god! Faggots are fighting! This is so cute! This is the cutest thing!”
Benjay: Please don’t run away?
Yo-Landi: Look at the faggot! Run faggot, run! Run for your life, bitch!

*Yo-landi, folds over double, holding her stomach laughing*

Ninja: Shhht! Shhhht! Now here’s the story guys: He walked up on this young girl and he felt her bum and her tits. And she’s upset.
Yo-Landi: I know.
Ninja: Don’t laugh anymore.
Yo-Landi: I won’t.

Please tell me where the edit was. Also explain, for 5 points, why you deem it clever?

Then, still continuing with the one uncut, unedited shot, Diak (Die Antwoord’s sound engineer who has signed a non-disclosure agreement with Die Antwoord to never say anything bad about them) looks for his glasses. Ben find’s them and Ninja proceeds to tell his made-up story to security. You can clearly see Yo-Landi trying her best to act as if she is crying, but fails miserably. She is actually just covering her eyes so people can’t see that there aren’t any real tears.

They kind of walk away from security. Remember, this is still one long continues shot:

Ninja: She’s like Marilyn Monroe, this is Oscar award winning. This is drama, nigger!
Ninja: We gonna have to edit that part out!
Ninja (to Yo-Landi): Stop smiling, miss!

Ninja continues on Facebook:
We dont care about people’s sexual preference. Our DJ and best friend DJ HITEK is gay, and alot of people in our crew are gay. But if a person (no matter what their sexual preference it) keeps harrassing us over and over, then physically harrasses ¥o-landi, there will obviously be repercussion.

They just played the fucking dumbest card out of the stack of lame excuses: The “some of my best friends are gay/black/Christian/disabled/vegan”.
How thick must you be to buy into this shit?

Ben Crossman has been on a rampage to make us look bad in the media because we fired him years ago, for being mentally unstable, and malicious towards our family.

Benjay really didn’t have to do much to make Ninja and Yolandi look bad. Ninja and Yolandi pretty much did that perfectly on their own. He just happened to film it and not get paid for it.  This is also an expected reaction from Ninja. Anyone who has ever had a difference of opinion either on a professional or personal level with Die Antwoord (especially Ninja), gets cast aside and branded as some stereotypical sort of unstable, crazy ex-girlfriend. He has an extremely fragile ego. They don’t even hide it – it is all over their songs and all the stuff they steal and appropriate from various people and cultures. Go read up on how they treated Wanga for instance, once they were done with him. In that same article you can read up on the stories they made up on a farm owner of a farm where Yolandi used to live – Andre Laubscher. Ninja always tries to divert and derail the entire narrative with his own little side anecdotes, because:
a) They have a bigger microphone than anyone who dares speak up
b) The fans are dumb enough to believe it (go read their comments over here)

Also, Ben has never been malicious to any of their family members. Most of the time, he was the only person to look after Sixteen, because Ninja and Yo-Landi didn’t really spend much time with her (when she was overseas on tour with them). In South Africa, things weren’t much different wit the adopted siblings, Tokkie and Meisie:

But can you still actually remember what the “Adelaide” video at the top of this article is all about? According to Ninja to their 1.2m followers on Facebook:

We were on tour with all the bands from Big Day Out for 7 shows, and everywhere we went, this guy kept stalking us and passing fucked up comments at us over and over.
At the end of the tour, during our final festival in Adelaide, the guy from Hercules followed ¥o-landi into the girls bathroom and wouldn’t let her out, and she had to physically push past him to get out of the bathroom.

OK, so they got really mad because Yolandi had to physically push past him to get out of the bathroom? So worst case scenario, the wall felt her shoulder up while this gay guy was blocking her way? I thought she got her bum and tits felt like Ninja planned, remember? (Ninja: Shhht! Shhhht! Now here’s the story guys: He walked up on this young girl and he felt her bum and her tits. And she’s upset.) Also, Yo-Landi bought so deep into her own lie that a few month ago, she said to Ben in a recorded phone conversation: “Dude, he grabbed my by the vagina!”
Maybe “dude” in this context means “wall” and her vagina sits on her shoulder?

She then ran to me and (our camera man) Ben and told us what just happened. This is why we all got up and ran after this guy (which Ben has not included in his edit). As I ran up to the guy from Hercules, he threw a drink at me and punched me so I hit him back, and he ran off. Ben (our camera man) then chased the guy and got into a scuff with him. During this scuff Ben punched the guy from Hercules in the face. The guy then ran away screaming for security to arrest us.

First of all, Benjay wasn’t just their “camera man”, so get that right. Benjay Crossman was their creative collaborator, painting most of the sets for most of their music videos as well as art directing most of their music videos. I know this, because a large part of the music video for Rich Bitch was filmed at my own house in Johannesburg. At the time, Ben was directing the music video, setting up everything and filming the video. He was at the core of most of the ‘art’ they were producing and quite frankly invaluable on that front for the important formative years of Die Antwoord. Apart from this music video, I was present at the filming of at least three music videos and Ben worked on all of them, sometimes painting huge murals and setting up scenes and directing it. But to get back to the Adelaide incident, I will let Ben tell you what went down that evening himself. I asked him for a comment on Ninja’s response:

In the heat of the moment I quickly told ¥o-landi to be as dramatic as possible about what happened so that we wouldn’t be detained for this guys bullshit story he was busy spinning to security. 

What story was he spinning to security? When did Andy have time to spin a bullshit story between being physically attacked by Ninja and Ninja and Yolandi getting to security first to lie about a sexual assault? Also, you didn’t tell Yolandi to be as dramatic as possible. Here are your actual fucking words, unedited. It is right there on the fucking video:
Ninja: Shhht! Shhhht! Now here’s the story guys: He walked up on this young girl and he felt her bum and her tits. And she’s upset.

Is this what you mean by Yolandi acting as dramatic as possible:
Yo-Landi (laughing): Oh my god! Faggots are fighting! This is so cute! This is the cutest thing!”
Yo-Landi: Look at the faggot! Run faggot, run! Run for your life, bitch!
*Yo-landi, folds over double, holding her stomach laughing*

The festival asked us if we wanted to press charges against the guy and we said no, as the incident was now over.

The reason they didn’t press any charges was because it was all one big fat lie and they would have gotten caught out.

At the end of the day we are kind people with good hearts who make surreal art and hardcore rap music. We dont look for trouble, and we believe in love, respect and equality. But if you fuck with us, we gonna pull up.
✌🏽Increase Da Peace ✌🏽

Can you please tell me if the video of the attack is:
a) Kind people with good hearts?
b) Surreal art?
c) Not looking for trouble?
d) love, respect and equality?
e) all of the above?

You may also use any of the two videos below to motivate your answer:

griffinDie Antwoord: Liar, liar baby’s on fire!
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Is smoking cigarettes really still a thing?

In Movies en TV deur griffin1 Eiertjies

Our top 10 weekly selection of DSTV Now | Showmax | YouTube | Netflix | Amazon Prime

In February of 2017, I very bravely wrote an article on how I stopped smoking. I use the word ‘bravely’ because at the time I claimed to have been 3 months off the old coffin nails when in fact my math sucked and it was only 2 months and one week. I was sharing my words of wisdom and all the methods that I could think of for supposedly beating or planning to beat the dirty habit. I was already in the process so it was brave (perhaps stupid is a better word?) to make the assumption that I had already triumphed over cigarettes in a measly two months. Two months prior to this I had been smoking more than 20 (very strong) cigarettes per day for over 25 years. And I can’t even count the times that I tried to quit and subsequently failed.

By the way, this time around I did check the math and I have been 100% off cigarettes for  three months and one week short of three years! I will do a follow-up article on it, but the short version is that vaping got me off the smokes. By the way, I only sucked robot dick for 6 months before I kicked that habit square in the balls as well.
A hectic story in the news earlier this week made me think about that article and my smoking days  again. Jissis, smoking is actually such a fokken (literal) drag. Imagine the industry? On Wednesday, the millionaire tobacco boss, Simon Rudland was critically injured in a shooting in Orchards, Johannesburg. This dude is the co-owner of Gold Leaf Tobacco Corporation and member of Fair Trade Independent Tobacco Association (FITA). As Rudland and his lawyer arrived for a FITA meeting, a white Golf pulled up behind his Porsche at the security entrance to his offices and  a man from the Golf’s passenger seat fired nine (!!!) shots with a handgun to Rudland’s head area. He got struck in the neck by one of the bullets and has since been in intensive care. Chcek the video. It was clearly a hit in broad fokken daylight! You can see Rudland speeding off after the hit. This could be from shock and hopefully he realised that he got shot and sped off to the hospital in stead of chasing after the hit men/gangsters.


According to some IPSOS research last year, it was claimed that about 26.8% of all cigarettes sold in South Africa were “illicit” and that this trade was dominated by one local company: that of Rudman’s – Gold Leaf Tobacco. By “illicit” it means cigarettes sold for less than R17.85 per pack of 20 – the total of sin tax and VAT payable on a pack of smokes. So if cigarettes are sold for less than the tax they pay, then the tax was most probably not paid. This still doesn’t explain why the dude got shot, but the manner in which whoever attempted to gun him down, suggests that it is industry related, perhaps.

All this heavy kak going on behind the scenes of the product people voluntarily fill their lungs up with. Smoking is more dangerous than we initially thought, it seems. Since I stopped, a lot of my friends or acquaintances also gave up the old stinky habit. I am pretty sure that I see less and less people smoking, but that could be because I stopped smoking and that my mind is just plying tricks on me. So maybe I can ask you guys: Is smoking really still a thing?

Rather feed your other bad habit, TV, with
our Plumlist’s top 10 pick for the weekend:

# This is not based on a true story
From its opening with a quote from Darwin’s On the Origin of Species to its closing credits rolling over Rodriguez’s Crucify Your Mind, American Animals is a work of art in itself.
On DStv Now
(read more)
 #9 Hunter Schafer on playing Jules in Euphoria
Hunter Schafer is not only seen as one of TV’s most promising young stars of 2019, but she’s also become a beacon of hope for many aspiring actresses just like herself.
 On Showmax
(read more)
#8 Eddie Murphy to return to our screens with Dolemite biopic
It’s been three years since stand-up comedian Eddie Murphy starred in a movie, but thanks to Netflix and its reportedly $70-million deal with the actor, Murphy is back!
 On  Netflix
(read more)
 #7 Khulubuse is running out of options in Impilo: The Scam
Reformed convict Khulubuse Mtshali (Desmond Dube) returned to Alexandra township with a clear vision after serving his 10-year prison sentence for robbing a jewellery store. He’s going to turn his life around on drama show Impilo: The Scam
On DStv Now
(read more)
 #6 Die Byl’s second season forces the detective to face not only serial killers, but his own demons too
It’s an artform getting into the mind of a serial killer, to understand their thought process while they’re committing their gruesome crimes, to get to grips with their drive, their motivation … their pleasure.
 On Showmax
(read more)
 #5 In GLOW, body slams make way for bolder character arcs
Having made its debut in 2017, the first season of GLOW focused on sleazy deadbeat director-of-failures Sam Sylvia (Marc Maron) and how he created GLOW by enlisting out-of-work actresses and other assorted misfits and hopefuls, and shaping them into wrestling characters.
 On Netflix 
(read more)
 #4 STROOP nabs double nominations at the “Oscars” of wildlife film making
The hard-hitting SA doccie about the rhino horn war will be showcased on DStv Now and Showmax in September.
 On DStv Now & Showmax
(read more)
 #3 Who really killed Garrett Phillips? We may never know
The question asked in the title of the lengthy two-part HBO documentary Who Killed Garrett Phillips? might never be answered, but film maker Liz Garbus focuses all her energy on the man who stood accused of the crime, Oral “Nick” Hillary, mainly because for the longest time he was the only suspect.
On Showmax
(read more)
 #2 See the Julia Donaldson picture book Zog brought to life
Animated in Cape Town by Triggerfish for Magic Light Pictures, Zog premiered on BBC last Christmas to five-star reviews and has since been named Best Animation at Shanghai International TV Festival and taken home the Audience Award for ages 3-6 at New York International Children’s Film Festival.
 On Showmax
(read more)
 #1 Jim Carrey’s new dark comedy series is no laughing matter
Jim Carrey is best known for his slapstick humour, over-the-top facial expressions and ability to find a joke in any situation. But when you watch his dark comedy series Kidding (2018-current, now streaming on Showmax and DStv Now, with a new episode added every Friday at 22:30), you’re getting a very different Jim.
DStv Now & Showmax
(read more)

Our randomized trailer pick of the week

Each week we take a number from 1 to 10 from our list of suggestions and put it through a randomizer to choose a trailer to show you. This week it landed on our number 3 spot, Who Killed Garrett Phillips? which examines the 2011 murder of 12-year-old Garrett Phillips and the subsequent trial of Clarkson University soccer coach Oral “Nick” Hillary.

griffinIs smoking cigarettes really still a thing?