[alert type=”muted” close=”false” heading=”Our top 10 weekly selection of DSTV Now | Showmax | YouTube | Netflix | Amazon Prime”]
Around three weeks ago we suggested that you should watch the entire Harry Potter movie franchise, so it now technically forms part of our list of suggested box sets to klap this weekend. You’re probably going to stay indoors because the weather is really fokken shitty. Not only is is cold but the icy wind (I’m talking on behalf of Gauteng) is of the worst quality in a long time as well. Jirre, everyone I know is kakking off with sinus problems. I might as well have wasted my money on cocaine because I’ve spent over R1k sorting out my fokken stuffy nose this past week. What else can we pile onto this winter dumpster fire? Oh ja, we’re back in level 2 of lockdown but with the added bonus of not having electricity for 2 hours at a time, twice a fokken day.
To give you an idea of how my weekend’s load shedding will affect me, assuming we’re getting fucked with level 2:
Friday: Load shedding from 06:00 to 08:30 – No fokken problem! I’m getting out of bed at 8:30 then. No need to get up before that.
Saturday: Load shedding from 04:00 to 06:30 – It doesn’t even make fokken sense. Who is awake to care at those hours? load shedding again from 12:00 – 14:30. Right smack bang in lunch time. If I don’t take a nap, I’ll just fokken braai and have beer.
Sunday: ESKOM fucks me again during lunch time, 12:00 to 14:30. In the evening they decided that we can’t watch the Mnet movie because they fuck us from 20:00 to 22:30. For lunch we’re driving to that Platform restaurant with our Rottweilers to go have some beer.
So here is what I suggest you do to make your weekend as bearable as possible:
Drive to a hood on a different schedule and go have a beer.
Make sure that your food and snacks are sorted out for when you have to be without power for 4 hours per day.
Charge all your laptops, phones, tablets and power banks so that you can at least watch something in bed when the power is out.
Alternatively, plan to watch stuff when you don’t have load shedding and rather catch a 2 hour power nap when load shedding strikes.
And the best advice I can give you to keep you sane – DOWNLOAD the Showmax movies from the suggested box sets below and watch them on your laptop, smart phone or tablet because when ESKOM kaks, so do all the cell towers. We all know they don’t have backup power because the batteries have been stolen looong ago and never got replaced.
Binge these box sets!
Catch The Matrix, The Matrix Reloaded and The Matrix Revolutions! These movies were genre-defining and has won four Oscars in total! Which pill are you gonna take? The red pill or the blue pill? Jirre, as long as it is not a slaappil or the gospel, I’m happy for you, dude. And here is a bonus if you can’t get enough of old straight-faced Keanu – sommer klap John Wick 3 as well.
Some did you know stuff:
The opening action scene of the first movie took four days to shoot! But hang on to your pants, because it took six months of training!
For the second movie, General Motors donated 300 cars for production and every single one of those cars got wrecked!
With the third installment (Revolutions) Keanu got paid $15m, or roughly $400k for every minute of screen time. This was back in 2003. That is a lot or Rands. Jirre.
Jason Bourne is in the house and you can watch all 5 movies: The Bourne Identity, The Bourne Supremacy, The Bourne Ultimatum, The Bourne Legacy and just plain Jason Bourne. This is one of the most exciting spy/action/thriller franchises ever. Truth be told, the story lines got me so fokken cofused over the last two decades, that it will almost be like watching it for the first time. Re-watching it will no doubt trigger some “O ja! Jis, nou gaan daai ou kak!”-moments.
Some did you know stuff:
The first movie (and probably the rest) were based on a novel by Robert Ludlum who died while it was in post-production, more than 20 years ago – March 12, 2001.
All the kief gadgets that Jason Bourne uses, can be bought by people like you and me, making it a little bit more believable than the 007 movies.
The Bourne Ultimatum actually won three Oscars – Best Editing, Best Sound Mixing and Best Sound Editing ,so put your TV poes loud for that one!
Any Bilbo Baggins fans in the house? You might need book off sick on Monday to extend your weekend because these Hobbit movies are longer than the fokken queue at the licensing departments. An Unexpected Journey clocks in at 2h42m, The Desolation of Smaug is short on its heels at 2h34m and The Battle of the Five Armies is the shortest of the three movies at 2 hours and 18 minutes. Total time spent in a fantasy world? Seven hours and 34 minutes!
Some did you know stuff:
Kili is the only Dwarf actor with his own real facial hair. The other twelve outjie all have fake beards.
Orlando Bloom did all of his own stunts.
Cate Blanchet appears in all three movies, but guess how much time she spent on set in total for all three productions? Only eight days!
If you thought that the Hobbit movies were fokken lengthy okes, might I remind you that the Transformers-franchise currently stand at a total of 4 movies and none of them clock in under two-and-a-quarter hours. In fact, added up they come to a total of 8 hours and 46 minutes of watch time. There are: Transformers (2h17m), Revenge of the Fallen (2h23m), Dark of the Moon (2h28m) and Age of Extinction (2h38m). You might wannna look into pretending to be sick on Tuesday as well because you’ve now officially run out of weekend time in front of the TV.
Some did you know stuff:
Megan Fox attended a Linkin Park concert and when the band met with her personally afterwards asked her if they could pretty please have a song in the movie they heard her doing. That’s how “What I’ve Done” made it into the closing credits.
Steven Spielberg attended a preview of the second movie and shouted “That’s fucking awesome!” when he saw Devastator. This made Michael Bay moerse proud, because Spielberg almost never swears.
BONUS ROUND:
I’ve run out of time, but if you have some time left in your weekend, also check these out!
Jurassic Park
The Lost World: Jurassic Park
Jurassic Park III
Jurassic World
Madagaskar
Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa
Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted
Mission: Impossible
Mission: Impossible II
Mission: Impossible III
Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol
Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation
That is ‘n shit ton of kick-ass movies to enjoy this weekend, if not this entire winter! If you add all the Harry Potter’s, it gives you a total of 35, which is more than one a day.
Fok loadshedding! Go download those movies so you don’t get caught with your pants down. In the dark. In the cold.
[/alert]
Need more streaming goodness? Check out our top 10 list of movies and TV series picks from The Plumlist. It is my to-go-to website when I’m stuck for streaming ideas from Netflix, Showmax and Amazon Prime:
#10. Who Killed Sara? Even if we never find out, we’ll keep watching First of all, do yourself a favour and watch with the original Spanish dialogue and subtitles; the English dubbing is so abysmal I almost gave up after the first 10 minutes of the first episode. Once I switched, it didn’t take long until I was hooked. Also, you’ll pick up some cool Spanish words, like cabrón, which I am absolutely going to add to my vocabulary. It’s all about context. |
On Netflix (read more) |
|
# 9. Can The Kominsky Method live on without Norman? It’s in the trailer and it’s in the opening scenes of episode1, so it’s no spoiler that Norman Newlander (Alan Arkin) is no longer of this earth. Having not been paying much attention for the past year or so, I immediately reached for Google; had Arkin himself passed on? |
On Netflix (read more) |
|
#8 Interview: Francois van Coke tells us about performing under lockdown Just over a year ago, South Africans felt like prison inmates, locked up inside their own homes during the very restrictive level 5 implementation of the lockdown, in response to the Covid-19 pandemic. Parts of the country resembled scenes from The Handmaid’s Tale. Under his eye, tjom! |
On Showmax (read more) |
|
#7 A chocolate box full of Afrikaans shows and movies With COVID-19 still swinging the axe and a third wave of infections looming on the horizon, we are just over a year into the South African lockdown. Sure, we’re only on level 1.2b amended version 8 beta and we feel a little more cautiously optimistic since the driest Krismis in history, but I came to the shocking realisation that I have not seen the inside of a movie cinema or smelled that buttery popcorn in more than a year! |
On Showmax (read more) |
|
#6 Stream these 5 movies for your dose of Keanu Reeves We just can’t help but love the guy. Here are five ways we’ll be getting our fix of the iconic actor on Netflix and Showmax. These movies starring one of the world’s best loved and yet most mysterious actors span 20 years – from The Matrix to Always Be My Maybe – and, trust us, the man didn’t age a day between them. |
On Netflix & Showmax (read more) |
|
#5 Six comedy series for those with a dark sense of humour The dark comedy genre exists because without it we’d be ignoring a fundamental aspect of life – it’s a tragedy and a comedy. As John Cleese once said: “Some people think life is a tragedy and we are all going to die, and some people think life is a comedy.” It’s this strange light and dark tension that makes this blend of comedy-drama storytelling such a wicked delight. Here are six dark comedy series now streaming on Showmax. |
On Showmax (read more) |
|
4# Seven film franchises for your next movie marathon These top-notch film franchises will keep you glued to the screen for weekends at a time. They’re all available to stream on Showmax. |
On Showmax (read more) |
|
#3 Six titles in the horror genre that offer social commentary For some, horror means slashers, monster movies and popcorn thrills. Pure entertainment escapism is a defining element of the genre, but it runs so much deeper when you consider that Godzilla (the 2014 version is on Showmax) was originally a symbol for the nuclear decimation and fall-out following the bombing of Hiroshima. |
On Amazon Prime, Netflix & Showmax (read more) |
|
#2 Friends: The Reunion to premiere on M-Net on Sunday, 30 May 2021 MultiChoice announced today that Friends: The Reunion will premiere on M-Net exclusive to DStv on Sunday, 30 May at 20:00 and will be available on streaming service Showmax from Monday, 31 May 2021. Friends stars Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc, Matthew Perry, and David Schwimmer return to the iconic comedy’s original soundstage, Stage 24, on the Warner Bros. Studio lot in Burbank for a real-life unscripted celebration of the beloved show. |
On Showmax (read more) |
|
#1 Watch: Cintaine Schutte talks to Hannes Brümmer about her craft Cintaine Schutte is the master of versatility, effortlessly switching between roles, be it on stage during art festivals and theatre productions or filming for the big screen and TV series. She has been nominated for more than 10 awards and has won an equal number of them, spanning every discipline of the acting world. |
On Showmax (read more) |
[feature_headline type=”left, center, right” level=”h2″ looks_like=”h3″ icon=”lightbulb-o”] Our randomized trailer pick of the week [/feature_headline]
Each week we take a number from 1 to 10 from our list of suggestions and put it through a randomizer to choose a trailer to show you. This week it landed on our number 5 spot, “Six comedy series for those with a dark sense of humour“, so we randomized again and it landed on Barry:
Bill Hader stars as Barry, a depressed, low-rent hitman from the Midwest. Lonely and dissatisfied in his life, he reluctantly travels to Los Angeles to execute a hit on an aspiring actor.
Watkykjy staan op 3,056,172 post views in totaal sedert 1 November, 2019.