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Before you think I’m referring to the Australian hard rock band, I’m of course making use of a very kak joke to refer to ESKOM not implementing loadshedding this weekend so that you’ll have electricity and will be able to stream some of the best DC superhero movies this weekend. Speaking of electricity, there were two main rivals who had a massive feud. One the one hand you had Nikola Tesla on the AC-side (alternating current) and Thomas Edison the DC-side. These okes had such bad beef with each other that this rivalry in the 1880s was referred to as the “War of Currents”. I tried to figure out what the difference is between the two and came across this image that still tells me fokol to be honest. The way I understand it is that ESKOM is AC and your laptop is DC. Nice “current war”, guys!
This whole thing made me think of my tjommie and stand-up comedian, Hannes Brummer who is a serious DC fan and I like to give him kak about it. Because today’s post is about streaming some DC entertainment, I sommer asked him a simple question: why do you fokken hate Marvel so much? This was his answer:
Its not that I’m a Marvel Hater. I just think Marvel is KAK! I find their heroes angsty as fuck and derivative from the icons. The DC heroes are the originals, the big boys! The serious motherfuckers! I started reading predominantly DC comics and didn’t necessary have contact with the Marvel characters, so perhaps that’s where my DC loyalty lies – from what I got to know first. Subsequently in how the Marvel cinematic and television universe was kind of created and forced down my throat – I always just felt more comfortable returning to the warmth and the honesty that DC provides. And let’s be honest – we’re talking about the big hitters, man: Batman, Superman…
Fok jou, Iron-Man- Spider-Man!
Okay then… Fun fact – DC stands for “Detective Comics”, so when Hannes says he reads DC comics, he is actually saying that he reads Detective Comics comics. I’ve broken down the list of Detective Comics movies into three main sections – what I deem to be the general crowd favourites, those movies that won’t be liked be the masses, and my personal favorites. If you’re planning on watching all of them, your entire weekend is sorted!
The crowd favorites:
Batman Begins
When billionaire playboy Elon Musk’s parents sell their emerald mind in Zambia When his mom and dad are killed, billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne relocates to Asia and gets mentored by Henri Ducard and Ra’s Al Ghul in how to fight evil. Bruce goes back to Gotham and adopts the image of a bat to strike fear into the criminals and the corrupt. This is basically Batman’s origin story. It is als implied by the word “Begins” in the title. because Batman Genesis would have sounded like a very kak and long Verimark ad.
The Dark Knight
This is the sequel to Batman Begins and Bruce Wayne continues his war on crime, this time with the help of Lieutenant James Gordon as well as District Attorney Harvey Dent. Batman sets out to destroy organized crime in Gotham for good but soon enough our three heroes find themselves prey to a rising criminal mastermind known as “The Joker”, a cunty clown who thrusts Gotham into anarchy. Batman gets closer to crossing the fine line between hero and vigilante. Angst!
The Dark Knight Rises
So Batman has been hiding for eight years. Enter that guy what sounds like he talks into an empty super sized McDonalds soda cup – Bane. He bccomes the new boss of Gotham’s underworld and plans to take control of the entire city. But Batman has help from the mysterious Selina Kyle and his butler Alfred. Go team!
Man of Steel
A young boy learns that he has extraordinary powers and is not of this Earth. As a young alien type man, he journeys to discover where he came from and what he was sent here to do. But the hero in him must emerge if he is to save the world from annihilation and become the symbol of hope for all mankind. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it South Africa getting the Johnson & Johnson vaccine? Nope, its just superman.
An acquired taste:
Birds of Prey
This plays off in Batman’s playground, but we don’t get to see him. Neither do we get to see the Joker In Gotham City. He did however, break up with his chick, Harley Quinn. She now longer has his protection and is in dik kak with all the criminals who are hunting her down. Enter teenager Cassandra Cain, who pickpockets a diamond which holds the account numbers of a fortune from the gangster Victor Zsasz who puts a contract on her. Harley Quinn, Police Detective Renee Montoya, Helena “The Huntress” Bertinelli and Dinah “Black Canary” Lance team up to protect Cassandra. Go team!
Shazam!
Billy Batson is a 14-year old boy who is abandoned and looking for his parents. He gets placed into several foster homes but makes kak and runs away every time, until he runs into a powerful wizard. He takes the mantle of Shazam which leaves him with a confusing face, a confusing body, confusing powers, and no-one to turn to, but his foster family. This is an extremely awkward super hero. I think I need to re-watch this one!
My personal picks:
Aquaman
Lekker ladies! Hoe lykit met ‘n stukkie vis? Are you ready to get as wet as Aquaman for Jason Momoa? Step right up. Arthur Curry (lekker kerrievis!) reluctantly embarks on a dangerous mission to find his roots. You see, mister gym tits is the human-born heir to the underwater kingdom of Atlantis and he goes on a quest to prevent a war between the worlds of ocean and land. He is basically preventing a surf and turf turf war, so to speak. I’m gonna watch the fuck out of this and yes, I am extremely jealous of his perfect abs and man-tits.
Green Lantern
I’m not going to stream this movie. Why not? Because I still have the 3D Blu-ray disk, goggles and a 3D TV. This is one of my favorite DC movies. The Guardians of the Universe have divided the universe into 3,600 space sectors, each one protected by one powerful Green Lantern, selected among fearless beings and supplied by a ring fed by the willpower from the planet Oa. It is super fokken technical, I know. The evil force Parallax is fed by fear and destroys a moerse klomp Green Lanterns but Abin Sur flees in his spacecraft but crashes on Earth. All fucked up and dying, his green ring seeks out a successor for him and finds the reckless but efficient test pilot Hal Jordan, played by Ryan Reynolds. That’s funny, because Reynolds is also Deadpool. It is like asking Aquaman to sommer also be Batman.
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Need more streaming goodness? Check out our top 10 list of movies and TV series picks from The Plumlist. It is my to-go-to website when I’m stuck for streaming ideas from Netflix, Showmax and Amazon Prime:
#10 Zack Snyder’s Army of the Dead: Ocean’s Eleven meets Dawn of the Dead Director Zack Snyder never disappoints, and Army of the Dead is no exception. After a zombie outbreak in Las Vegas, the city is quarantined and about to be destroyed by the US government. But when casino tycoon Bly Tanaka (Hiroyuki Sanada) approaches ex-mercenary Scott Ward (Dave Bautista) about a large sum of money trapped in the quarantine zone, Ward assembles a crew of mercenaries to pull off a grand heist and retrieve the money. |
On Netflix (read more) |
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# 9. If Neo and Batman went head to head, who would come out tops? Loosely basing The Matrix on Ghost in the Shell, the Wachowskis unleashed a game-changing and epic sci-fi action thriller about a hacker named Neo who wakes up in a programmed dream. A sequel to Batman Begins, The Dark Knight became the lynchpin to Christopher Nolan’s critically acclaimed and monumental crime trilogy about Batman, a shadowy vigilante and protector of Gotham City. |
On Showmax (read more) |
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#8. Dive into the DC Universe Superhero fans, rejoice! Christopher Nolan’s brilliant Dark Knight Trilogy is coming to Showmax. Stream all three movies, along with Man of Steel, Green Lantern, Shazam!, Birds of Prey and Aquaman, for a DC Universe mega binge.. |
On Showmax (read more) |
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#7 HBO’s Betty is “scrappy, beautiful and filled with love” Written, executive produced and directed by Crystal Moselle (the filmmaker behind the Sundance Grand Jury Prize-winning documentary The Wolfpack), Betty is based on her critically acclaimed feature film, Skate Kitchen, which took the skateboarding scene – and the festival circuit – by storm in 2018. |
On DStv & Showmax (read more) |
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#6 World on Fire and 12 more war movies and shows “War, huh, yeah. What is it good for? Ahh…” Edwin Starr’s famous anti-war anthem obviously wasn’t talking about board games, comic books, documentaries, films, series and soundtracks. The act of war can rewrite history and devastate millions, but it’s also served as an inspiration for many entertainment spin-offs – leaving a deluge of meaningful and thoughtful pop culture in its wake. |
On Netflix & Showmax (read more) |
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#5 It’s a battle for God’s throne in the latest season of Lucifer Don’t you just hate it when your parent(s) whom you haven’t seen in like, forever, suddenly pitch up and begin interfering in your life? That’s exactly what happens when God pitches up on Earth, and Lucifer is not happy about it. |
On Showmax (read more) |
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# 4. Thirteen years’ worth of Leonardo DiCaprio in 6 must-see movies Leonardo DiCaprio has been in showbiz for over 30 years and we’ve seen him go from baby-faced tween to handsome leading man. If you’re streaming savvy, you can literally watch the 46-year-old age by streaming these movies in chronological order. |
On Netflix & Showmax (read more) |
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#3 Cintaine on the membrane: reasons we love this versatile star You’re welcome for the earworm and apologies for my very kak attempt at a joke but honestly, Cintaine Schutte has such a unique name and nothing else with two syllables rhymes lekker with it. Plus, that 1993 hit song from Cypress Hill is still catchy AF and OMG how old are we now?! While you’re still humming and singing “Insane in the membraaaane!” |
On Showmax (read more) |
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#2 Your top 11 superhero series playlist Ryan Reynolds stars as Hal Jordan, the world’s cockiest but best test pilot who works for the US government. His cockiness is his flaw (all heroes need some form of self-issue) but it’s also what makes Hal perfect for his new job: as wearer and protector of the Green Ring Of Power. |
On DStv, Netflix & Showmax (read more) |
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#1 Thirteen titles that honour the life and work of Shaleen Surtie-Richards The sudden passing of legendary actress Shaleen Surtie-Richards (66) on Monday, 7 June 2021 was mourned across the country. To honour her trail-blazing career, the never-before-seen documentary Shaleen Surtie-Richards: I Am Who I Am aired on M-Net on Wednesday, 9 June at 19:30, and is now streaming on Showmax. |
On DStv & Showmax (read more) |
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[feature_headline type=”left, center, right” level=”h2″ looks_like=”h3″ icon=”lightbulb-o”] Our randomized trailer pick of the week [/feature_headline]
Each week we take a number from 1 to 10 from our list of suggestions and put it through a randomizer to choose a trailer to show you. This week it landed on our number 4 spot, “Thirteen years’ worth of Leonardo DiCaprio in 6 must-see movies“, so we randomized again and it landed on Inception:
Dom Cobb is a skilled thief, the absolute best in the dangerous art of extraction, stealing valuable secrets from deep within the subconscious during the dream state, when the mind is at its most vulnerable. Cobb’s rare ability has made him a coveted player in this treacherous new world of corporate espionage, but it has also made him an international fugitive and cost him everything he has ever loved.
Watkykjy staan op 3,091,016 post views in totaal sedert 1 November, 2019.