[alert type=”muted” close=”false” heading=”Our top 10  weekly selection of   DSTV Now | Showmax | YouTube | Netflix | Amazon Prime”]

I felt a bit nostalgic this week and decided to dig up at least three kak old but iconic Afrikaans movies to stream this weekend. Two of them are absolute classic and hilarious laugh out loud comedies and one is a depressing as fuck drama, just for balance. Of course I’m not only going to watch these three movies because while I was browsing through my very own convenient virtual DVD shop, I also came across two interesting very recent Hollywood movies which I haven’t seen yet. These will cover my cravings for horror, crime, mystery, sci-fi, thriller and fantasy.

So lets start of with these two first?

The Invisible Man
This is an easy choice as it mad Elisabeth Moss on the poster. I’ll watch any movie starring her. You know her from the 2020 Emmy Award winning The Handmaid’s Tale, the fokken kak-scary US (it freaked me the fuck out!), and perhaps lesser well known movies such as The Square or the excellent boxing drama biography, The Bleeder, but her latest movie,  The Invisible Man sounds hella interesting: The film follows Cecilia, who receives the news of her abusive ex-boyfriend’s suicide. She begins to re-build her life for the better. However, her sense of reality is put into question when she begins to suspect her deceased lover is not actually dead.

Sold, right?

The second movie poster which caught my attention was that of Paradise Hills with Emma Roberts sporting pink hair in which she plays the role of Emma, a young woman who wakes up in an apparently idyllic reform school for young ladies. This plays off against the backdrop of  an undetermined future where society is divided in two types of peeps: upper-class (superiors) and the rest which consists of mid and lower-class (inferiors).

Ja hey, you mos get two types of people…

For the lekker local movies I came across, we should probably start with the tearjerker, Fiela se Kind. My parents though they were really clever and took us to the drive-in to go see this fliek in 1988. Well, that’s one way to fuck up a kid for a while. I just remember being traumatized when Annie Malan’s character, Nina, got beaten the shit out of her by her dad and worse, finding out in Huisgenoot afterwards that she got beaten up for reals on her insistence to make the acting more authentic. Liewe jirre! As an adult I have the coping mechanisms to deal with the movie again.  The book was authored by Dalene Matthee and released in 1985 and the movie followed very quickly in 1988. Matthee tackles environmental concerns, themes of racism and sexism as well as discrimination of class. I tells the gripping story of a coloured woman’s love for her white “adopted” child and how her happy family is brutally torn apart when a magistrate decides that her child must return to his biological parents.

This is not a zef movie. It is just really kak sad but really, really good!

Boetie Gaan Border Toe has to be THE original ZAF (zef as fuck) movie ever produced in South Africa. This is one of Arnold Vosloo’s biggest local roles before he made the big move to Hollywood  (check out G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra for instance). This 1984 production is a satire set during the South African Border War and the main character, Boetie (Arnold Vosloo) faces conscription into the SA military. He initially resists national service and tries to defy instruction but quickly makes tjommies with his fellow conscripts as they train and eventually also are deployed to the Angolan border. Casper de Vries is brilliant, Eric Nobbs is brilliant and Frank Opperman is brilliant.

Don’t skip this one, seriously.

Lipstiek Dipstiek
The biggest South African movie to come out with the advent of our country’s democracy. Fun fact – a very drunk me bumped into a very drunk Francois Coertze in at BP in Pretoria, buying garage pies one evening back in 1999. We didn’t know each other from a bar of soap and somehow went our for drinks. That is literally all I can remember.

Back to the really over-the-top-movie – it was shot in Joburg on a budget of R1.5m in 1994. It follows the story of Poenie, working class Afrikaans zefgat dealing with romance, lust and life in general. He is on the verge of marrying a real plump Boerepoppie but super English psychologist, Catelina (Julie Hartley) literally accidently crosses his path. Her fokken uptight fiancé, however complicates things and a fucked-up love triangle becomes a square.

Remember the very first lines of dialogue? Let me jog your memory:

Frikkadel Fourie: Fokkit! Fokkit! Eina! Ek het my met die welding rod gebrand, pa! Op my knaters!
Poenie Fourie: Lekker deur die kak!

You can’t call yourself South African if you haven’t seen this corker yet! Cry-laugh from beginning to end.

PS: You’ll find South Africa’s first naked shower scene in a movie at 4min20.

[/alert]

Need more? Check out our top 10 list of movies and TV series picks from the Plumlist. It is my to-go-to website when I’m stuck for streaming ideas:

#10. Six comedians in their best serious roles Find a guy – or gal – they say, who will make you laugh. Find someone who is smart and funny, it will be fun, they say. Or so you would think. Google takes relationship advice a lot more seriously, suggesting we seek out qualities such as respect and security, trust and the ability to communicate.	On Amazon Prime, Netflix & Showmax (read more)
# 9. Interview: Elisabeth Moss as Cecilia in The Invisible Man The 2020 horror-thriller, produced by Jason Blum and written and directed by Leigh Whannell, follows Cecilia (Elisabeth Moss), a smart, strong woman who has been traumatised beyond recognition by her relationship with her abusive ex, Adrian. She manages to escape from him with her life, and shortly afterwards discovers that he committed suicide after she left him.	On Showmax (read more)
#8 The Nightingale refuses to shy away from the brutality of colonialism Jennifer Kent is the writer-director who brought us the chilling psychological horror thriller The Babadook. While modest, this excellent film demonstrated the filmmaker’s ability to expand the underlying vision of her promising short film into a full expression.	On Showmax (read more)
#7 Six feel-good escapist movies for the ultimate staycation Everyone can agree, 2020 has been a crazy year! To cap off the madness most people are going to Romania (say it slowly) for the year-end holiday. We’ve got a winning concept for you that will kickstart your next globe-trotting or jet-setting adventure without lifting a finger! Okay, you may need to lift a finger to press play or pop corn in the microwave but leave the travel itinerary to us.	On Netflix & Showmax (read more)
#6 Virtual meets reality at the Jurassic Park watch party with Spling Jurassic Park is one of those nostalgic classics that’s aged remarkably well! Sam Neill, Laura Dern and Jeff Goldblum may be doing some of their best work today but they’ll be immortalised thanks to Steven Spielberg’s adaptation.	On Showmax (read more)
#5 Five eye-opening series and movies about abolitionism The slave trade has been around for millennia, from the building of the Great Pyramids right up to the 21st Century. It’s a terrifying business, one where lives are bought, sold and traded into lives of hard labour.	On Amazon Prime, DStv Now, Netflix & Showmax (read more)
4# Four nostalgic hits on Showmax and Netflix to take you back to the future If you grew up before the rise of cellphones and the Internet, you’ll remember a time before technology intersected with every waking moment. This was an age when a phone was something you left plugged into the wall at home, movie night involved travel, you had to watch whatever was on television and visit a library to fudge your essay’s bibliography.d.	On Netflix & Showmax (read more)
#3 Welcome to the Dirty Delta: P-Valley is now streaming The show that’s been described as “a sexy, fast-paced drama that sets out to de-stigmatize the world of stripping and shatter misconceptions,” is now on Showmax and DStv online.	On Showmax & DStv Now (read more)
#2 Tali’s Baby Diary is officially on the way! Shooting starts in Cape Town What is happeninnngggg?! Shooting is finally underway in Cape Town on Tali’s Baby Diary, the long-awaited sequel to the first ever Showmax Original. Talibabes is due – yes, that kind of due – in March 2021.	On Showmax (read more)
#1 The Story of Racheltjie de Beer: we all know how it ends In its most basic form, the storyline goes as follows: It is somewhere in the 1800s and the De Beer family (Racheltjie, her dad, her little brother and a calf named Frikkie) are traveling alone by ox wagon when it breaks down in the eastern Free State. They seek shelter at a local farm house. It happens to be one of the worst winters in five decades, and dark, snow-laden clouds roll in over the Drakensberg mountain range. Tragedy strikes when Frikkie goes AWOL. And we all know Racheltjie’s fate.	On Showmax (read more)

[feature_headline type=”left, center, right” level=”h2″ looks_like=”h3″ icon=”lightbulb-o”] Our randomized trailer pick of the week [/feature_headline]

Each week we take a number from 1 to 10 from our list of suggestions and put it through a randomizer to choose a trailer to show you. This week it landed on our number 4 spot, “Four nostalgic hits on Showmax and Netflix to take you back to the future” and we’re going for the Turtles from that list:
The Turtles continue to live in the shadows and no one knows they were the ones who took down Shredder. Vernon is the one everyone thinks is the one who took Shredder down. April O’Neill does some snooping and learns a scientist named Baxter Stockman is working for Shredder. He plans to break him out while he’s bringing transported. April tells the turtles, who try to stop it but can’t. Stockman tries to teleport Shredder but he some how ends up in another dimension and meets a warlord named Krang who instructs Shredder to assemble a teleportation device he sent to Earth a long time ago. He gives Shredder some mutagen which he uses to transform two criminals who were also in the transport with him, Rock Steady and Bebop, into mutants. They then set out to find the device. April saw the transformation while investigating Stockman. She takes the mutagen and is chased by Shredder’s minions, the Foot Clan. She is saved by a man named Casey Jones who was the one transporting Shredder.