Oh the fokken horror! Sommer have 9 of them!

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It seems like Afrikaans South Africans are full of bravado. They’re not fokken scared of anything – they’re not scared of fist fights, the coronavirus, sterk drank, drinking and driving,  telling people they will not a fok take a knee or displaying the old South African flag on Facebook. The one thing they might be scared of is English, because even though they undertands like 60 percents of if, they don’t likes to read it. It somehow threatens them, eggspecially on sites  such as Watkykjy because los my fokken kultuur uit! They won’t even be scared of these nine horror movie suggestions. Ja, we know it are only a movie, hoor? It are called entertainment…

Klap these horror vibes over the weekend. They are listed from the kakkest rating to the best. Some are less scary and some of them I need to watch during the day with no clouds in sight.

Pet Sematary (2019)
A re-imagining of the famous and popular Stephen King horror novel, telling the story of a family’s relocation to a rural area. Big surprise! they discover a mysterious burial ground near their home. Tragedy strikes and sets off a chain of events that unleashes evil upon the family. Kak en hare!
Clocking in at the lowest rating of the bunch at  5.7.

Wrong Turn
Chris and his group of five tjommies take a shortcut end up stranded in the poes scary woods after their cars collide. The cars are fucked and they set off to find help. What do they come across? Fokken cannibalistic mountain men, of course. I kak my pant.
6.1 on the rating meter but closer to an 8 on the scare-meter for me, personally.

The Purge: Anarchy
In this sequel to the nail-biting hit horror film, three groups of people find themselves stranded on the street during the annual 12 hour purge, when all crime is allowed to take place with no repercussions.
The rating of 6.4 makes me want to give it a shot, as I haven’t done so yet.

Child’s Play (1988)
Jirre, you’re going to laugh at the special effects. Thirty years later it looks so kak but as a laitie, this movie freaked me out. A single mother gives her son a much sought-after doll for his birthday, only to discover that it is possessed by the soul of a  cunty (but hilarious) serial killer. You’re going to love this cult classic!
6.6

Pet Sematary (1989)
This is not the 2019 movie but the original movie from 20 years ago as above. An absolute classic and not to be missed! Seriously, give it a shot! It is rated higher than the new one. Back in school I read the book and I was kak scared every night for an entire two weeks as I slowly tried to make my way through the book. Nostalgia galore! Did you even realise that ‘cemetary’ is spelt wrong? You know why? It is misspelled by the children who created it as a resting place for their fallen pets, an error replicated by King in the title.
6.6 ain’t bad for the movie. I give the book an 8.

Dead by Dawn
Dead by Dawn is a genre-bending series which showcases the horror that is reality in the wild when the sun goes down.  This is the first-ever horror nature series.  Faaaantastic! Sign me up!
Solid 7.0!

Hereditary
This movie was super fokken scary. Fine, I get scared easily (by movie, not dumb people) but this one got me right from the start to finish. In this eerie horror, a family mourning the loss of its matriarch makes some frightening discoveries about their ancestry. Also, you will then clearly understand this meme which, quite frankly, sums up 2020 the best ever.
7.3 which but my book gets a 7.6
American Horror Story 
I have not seen a single episode of the 8 season series. It is one of those series that I kind of saved for the right time. It might be round about now.
A small group of people narrowly escape a nuclear apocalypse in a top-secret shelter where things get very fucked up, very fucking fast.
Agt uit tien, pappie!

The Walking Dead
Jissis, I am still struggling though this. It feels like I’ve been watching this on and off for 30 years.  It just freaks me out, so I can’t handle that much of this at any given time. It is the absolute king of zombie horror vibes on TV. Sheriff, Rick Grimes wakes from a coma. The entire town is overrun with zombies or “Walkers” as people name them. He joins a group of survivors and head out to find his wife and son. Season 10 is in lockdown, can you belive it? Episode 16 is coming out in October. I’ll probably only see in in 2025 because I’m so poes scared to watch it too fast.
8.2

 

Need more? Check out our top 10 list of movies and TV series picks from the Plumlist. It is my to-go-to website when I’m stuck for streaming ideas:
#10. Michaela Coel’s I May Destroy You is being billed as “the drama of the year so far”
They’re all talking about I May Destroy You, the hit HBO drama executive produced, written and co-directed by its star, two-time BAFTA winner and Black Reel nominee Michaela Coel (Chewing Gum, Black Earth Rising), now on Showmax and 1Magic on DStv Now every Wednesday night.
On DStv Now & Showmax
(read more)
# 9 Eight anime-inspired shows to watch online
Japan: land of the rising sun, country with a seemly endless variety of Kit-Kat chocolate flavours (the sweet potato one is delicious, by the way), robots, geishas, and, of course, anime. Japan has produced some of the greatest animated films and series ever – some of them leaving permanent marks on pop culture.
On Netflix & Showmax
(read more)
#8 Seven roles that were a big change-up for Hollywood A-listers
Actors are meant to be able to play anything, but can you imagine Arnold Schwarzegger in La La Land or Rebel Wilson in The Terminator? Most actors have a knack for playing certain roles and genres, gravitating from casting call to calling card.
On Netflix & Showmax
(read more)
 #7 HBO’s Perry Mason is an origin story that’s “noir enough”
You don’t have to be old enough to have watched – or even been alive at the time, for that matter – the original Perry Mason TV series, which ran from 1957 till 1966, to know the name is synonymous with courtroom drama procedurals.
On DStv Now & Showmax
(read more)
#6 Twenty-one horror movies to stream online
TLove sitting on the edge of your couch and binge-watching movies about creepy, otherworldly terrors? These are some of the scariest films now streaming in South Africa, delivering everything from blockbuster-level frights to unexpected indie twists. Thank us later – when you’ve recovered.
On Netflix & Showmax
(read more)
 #5 Bombshell and more blockbuster movies to stream
Date night rom-com? The latest and most lavish adaptation of a famous novel? Irreverent animated comedy? Dystopian sci-fi? Classic, genre-defining, legendary, iconic movie from the 90s? Multiple Oscar winner?
On Netflix, DStv Now & Showmax
(read more)
 4# Thirty-three of the best action series to stream
Bored with blah drama shows? Tired of not-that-funny comedies? Not buying into scripted “reality” series? Stream any of these action shows and get your heart rate bouncing like a basketball in an NBA game! Adrenaline and entertainment, thy name art action shows, like….
 On Amazon Prine, Netflix, DStv Now & Showmax
(read more)
 #3 The best HBO shows to stream in South Africa
Here are all the eminently binge-worthy, critically acclaimed Emmy darlings and fan favourite HBO series that you’ll find on Showmax.
On Showmax
(read more)
 #2 Ten movies that are worth your time and data on Showmax
From indie gems to Oscar winners and box office hits, these are the movies you won’t regret streaming the next time you feel like having a movie night, whether they’re classics you want to rewatch (Groundhog Day, anyone?), or have never heard of them (top tip: Supa Modo is sublime).
 On Showmax
(read more)
 #1 The best comedies to stream on Showmax
Get ready for a binge-watch session of hilarious and epic proportions. These are the top-rated, most acclaimed and most popular Plum Picks in the comedy genre on Showmax. Click on the titles to start watching immediately. And… go!
On Showmax 
(read more)

Our randomized trailer pick of the week

Each week we take a number from 1 to 10 from our list of suggestions and put it through a randomizer to choose a trailer to show you. This week it landed on our number 9 spot, Eight anime-inspired shows to watch onlineen wie is nou nie lus vir ‘n stukkie anime nie? We randomized again and landed on Ghost in the Shell: 

In the year 2045, the world has entered a systematic “Sustainable War.”
Hired as a mercenary unit, the former members of Japan’s elite Section 9 are faced with the sudden appearance of “Post-Human,” a being with tremendous intelligence and physical capabilities.

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griffinOh the fokken horror! Sommer have 9 of them!

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