Our top 10 weekly selection of DSTV Now | Showmax | YouTube | Netflix | Amazon Prime
Relax your tits, we’re not going down the endless South African rabbit hole of crime. Things are currently waaay to depressing to even look in that direction. We’re talking about good old crime movies and series to stream while you’re (hopefully) sitting on your ass at home this weekend.
Once again, we’ve discovered some gems for you and arranged them according to their ratings (for those who are interested in ratings). Some people don’t care and some people are anal about it. One man’s kak is another guy’s breakfast, right? I’m one of those full of kak people but I’m not 100% unfair – I try not to watch stuff with ratings below 5.5 so let’s sommer kick it off at that point:
The Hollow Point
I don’t know the actors in this movie but the poster doesn’t look kak and solely based on that, I am allowing it on the list. I am told that this is a gritty crime thriller of a new sheriff of a small American town, who has to investigate a harrowing drug cartel deal that went terribly wrong.
OK, I’ll bite. I’m a fan of the old drug cartel movies and series.
At 5.4 it technically doesn’t make it into the stable, so to some of you, have some of my kak for lunch.
Have you seen it? Any thoughts?
Can you believe that this Julia Roberts and Brad Pitt classic is already almost 20 years old? I don’t really remember much from this clumsy crime comedy, so I am putting it on the lost. In this movie, a guy (Brad Pitt) tries to transport an ancient gun across the Mexican border. His cherry (Julia Roberts) wants him to quit his life of crime. Oh ja, the gun is also believed to be cursed and a lot of kak goes down.
I am surprised at the 6.1 rating because I recall thoroughly enjoying this when it came out. I’m chalking this one up for the weekend.
Crimes and Mister Meanors
Jirre, what a totally fokken lame title for a movie. And the poster? It looks like the packaging for a fokken knock-off Hot Wheels car. But hey, this movie was made for kids and if you put yourself in a 10 to 12 year old’s shoes, it actually sounds kinda exciting: Thirteen-year-old Jake Harvard is less than thrilled when he learns he has to spend the summer in suburban Washington, D.C., with his uncle Benny who is an unmotivated, middle-aged detective. On his way to Uncle Benny’s office during his first day in D.C., Jake makes tjommies withe a young girl, Kat Adams. When Uncle Benny turns away a client who needs help finding her missing husband, Jake and Kat hold their own secret investigation to help solve the case and quickly find themselves in the midst of a moerse conspiracy that has claimed the lives of several scientists at a secret government facility.
Fuck it, it actually sounds kind of piele. At 6.4, I’ll put it on the list for the weekend.
Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald
When I first started watching the movies in this series, I thought it was the grown up’s Harry Potter. I only later realized that this also comes from the pen of J.K. Rowling and quite frankly, I enjoyed it a bit more as I am not the world’s biggest Potter fan. So… having escaped his captors, the powerful dark wizard, Gellert Grindelwald is gathering followers as part of his plan to rule over non-magical beings. Albus Dumbledore recruits Newt Scamander to stop Grindelwald. It sounds like mister Gert Groenewald has got his kak booked for him. Completely watchable and entertaining.
At 6.6 is a middle of the road score but I think it deserves slightly more, if only for the SFX effort that went into this film.
Get Shorty (movie)
This 1995 classic is a wildly popular comedy of a gangster who turns into a big-time producer after he travels to Hollywood to collect a debt.
It scored a 6.9 but I am actually going to do a full blown review on this later today, as well as the reboot which got turned into a series.
If I am completely honest here, the the main bad boy of this movie’s poster looks about as gangster as Jack Parow. It doesn’t quite scream tough guy. It follows the story of a newly released prisoner who is forced by the leaders of his gang, to orchestrate a major crime with a brutal rival gang on the streets of Southern California. It sounds like a setup with Jack Parow who is forced to create a music video with Early B and they are not allowed to swear.
I’m sorry, I’m really judging this movie poster poes hard, but the 7.3 makes me wonder what I’m going to miss out on, so now I’m very curious. I will give it a kyk…
Yay! another classic! Be honest – from the top of your head you would guess that it came out in 2002 or 2003, right? It was actually released in 1997 – 23 years ago! Get yourself some of the best Al Pacino and Johnny Depp in one movie. It follows the true story of an undercover FBI agent who infiltrates the mob, forming a deep friendship with one of its members but the oke loses himself in his new identity at the expense of his real life.
Gangster as fuck at 7.7 and I’m watching it because I remember sweet blue fokol from way back when.
Get Shorty (series)
As with the movie above – my full review will come out later today. Just trust me so long and start watching this.
It klapped a well deserved 8.2 which I will personally slide up to 8.6 or 8.7
Based on the best-selling novels by Michael Connelly, this crime thriller sees L.A.P.D. homicide detective, Detective Harry, working to solve the murder of a thirteen-year-old boy while standing trial in federal court for the murder of a serial killer. Goeie fok, this sounds horribly fantastic. I haven’t watched it yet but I see that there are 5 seasons already. I’m putting this on my list as an amber alert. I don’t really know what that means but I skiem it means right at the top because 8.4 ain’t kak and it is our highest rating for this weekend’s kykgenot!
Need more? Check out our top 10 list of movies and TV series picks from the Plumlist. It is my to-go-to website when I’m stuck for streaming ideas:
|#10 Look who means business in M-Net’s new telenovela Legacy
M-Net and multiple award-winning production house Tshedza Pictures have been lining up a stellar cast for the channel’s first telenovela, Legacy, due to hit our screens in September 2020.
|On DStv Now
|# 9 Where to find Somizi on streaming platforms in South Africa
Somgaga’s got a new cooking show out – and since he’s the king of reality series, you can get a taste of him in plenty of other shows, too. When you need a dose of the flamboyant star, hit Play on these reality series on Showmax or
|On Showmax and DStv Now
|#8 Is Avatar: The Last Airbender on Netflix in South Africa?
Since its re-release on Netflix in other countries in May 2020, Avatar: The Last Airbender has swiftly risen through the ranks to become one of the platform’s most-watched shows. Not only that, but earlier this week it also tied with only one other show – Ozark – to feature on Netflix’s Top 10 list for a total of 57 consecutive days.
| #7 Five movies based on unforgettable true stories
We often see the words “based on a true story” on screen at the beginning of movies, and, even though we’re not expecting the film to be 100% accurate or to give us the truth in documentary style, it’s a narrative hook that always works to lure us in.
|#6 See Charlize Theron as an immortal soldier in Netflix’s The Old Guard
South African-born Charlize Theron has built up an incredibly diverse body of work, from her first credited role as the leggy hit woman in 2 Days In The Valley (1996), to sharing the screen with the leading men including Keanu Reeves, Al Pacino, Johnny Depp and James McAvoy.
| #5 Interview: Jodie Comer on the second season of Killing Eve
We’re two episodes down in Season 2 of this women-driven crime caper, adapted from the novels by writer Phoebe Waller-Bridge, and co-executive produced by Sandra Oh, who plays the titular role.
|On DStv Now
| 4# Where to find Jordan Peele on streaming platforms in South Africa
The world sat up and took notice of the comedian, writer, actor, director and producer when he won the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay for his 2017 directorial debut, Get Out.
| On Amazon Prime, Showmax & Netflix
| #3 Twelve actors who have played both superhero and super-serious roles
Every actor worth their salt will say that they like stepping out of their comfort zone: case in point, these stars. You’ll find them in their more serious roles on Showmax and Netflix.
|On DStv Now, Netflix & Showmax
| #2 Six Ryan Murphy shows to binge-watch
For someone who is fairly widely acknowledged to be the current king of TV series, and with a multi-million-dollar deal with Netflix which was inked in 2019 (as in $300 million), there are surprisingly few of Ryan Murphy’s show available for streaming.
| On Netflix & Showmax
| #1 The most bodacious shows set in the 1980s to stream right now
The 80s were all about revolution – everything was big, bold and colourful, from big hair and bigger shoulder pads, to lumo leotards and sweatbands. And that makes the bygone era perfect as an instantly recognisable setting for TV shows.
|On Netflix & Showmax
Our randomized trailer pick of the week
Each week we take a number from 1 to 10 from our list of suggestions and put it through a randomizer to choose a trailer to show you. This week it landed on our number 6 spot, “See Charlize Theron as an immortal soldier in Netflix’s The Old Guard” – jirre, what a fokken movie!
The inside story of the rise and fall of Harvey Weinstein reveals how, over decades, he acquires and protects his power even as scandal threatens to engulf him. Former colleagues and accusers detail the method and consequences of his alleged abuse, hoping for justice and to inspire change.
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