The SONA bottom 10 moments in a nutshell

In Movies en TV deur griffin

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Most of you remember how befok lekker Valentine’s Day of 2018 was for South Africans. It was the day when Jacob ‘State Capture’ Zuma finally stepped down as president of South Africa under pressure from the ANC. Two Valentine’s Days later and we’re still not really off better. That oke caused so much damage to our country and economy that generations to come will still suffer the consequences.

There is thus little wonder that yesterday’s State Of the Nation Address was uninspiring. A lot of people wasted their time tuning into the SABC’s live stream of President Cyril Ramaphosa’s 2020 State Of The Nation address. Apart from the predictable lies and the usual unfulfilled prophecies, these are the bottom 10 moments from yesterday’s circus:

  1. Not even Springbok rugby captain Siya Kolisi or Miss Universe, Zozibini Tunzi could lift South Africans’ spirits for SONA2020. They were there for window dressing and they got let down by the rest of the room.
  2. Next to Miss Universe  was Sinoyolo Qumba – a Grade 11 pupil from Lenasia South, who apparently helped President Cyril Ramaphosa write his speech. Very cute. I almost want to break into song: “I believe the children are our future”. The EFF has fokol feels…
  3. At least two EFF hooligans threw bottles at other MPs as they left the chamber. At this point, stil fokol positive speeches or sentences were uttered.
  4. Then Malema got all up in everybody’s assholes demanding that FW De Klerk must fuck off. Dude, he is 84. He will quietly fuck off in the next decade. I promise you Shabir Shaik who has been terminally ill since the Boer War will fucking outlive De Klerk. Sit down, poes.
  5. With all this shit going on and the EFF keeping ons raising irrelevant pointless points of order like toddlers, Ramaphosa was just chilling and playing with his iPhone. Probably cheking out his banks accounts and McDonald’s shares.
  6. The circus was suspended so that the EFF could have their nappies changed and the proceedings delayed by an hour and a half
  7. Still, nothing meaningful has happened at this point and all the other parties felt it was necessary to cry about the EFF’s behavior. Ramaphosa then finally got to do his little speech, lying to rich and poor alike.
  8. Ramaphosa tried to get the DA on his side when he announced that municipalities would finally be allowed to procure electricity from independent electricity producers. This will of course come at a massive price, because we’re not allowed to look after ourselves unless we get taxed blue up our asses.
  9. Ramaphosa briefly spoke about state capture and Jacob Zuma’s equally skelm son, Duduzane Zuma didn’t even blink. He shouldn’t be in the gallery. He somehow escaped jail, like is pappa.
  10. For some reasone, everyone focused on the sole thing they deemed positive: the litte bit about zol: According to Ramapoepies, this year, government will apparently open up and regulate the commercial use of hemp products. He tunes they will be providing opportunities for small-scale farmers and formulate policy on the use of cannabis products for medicinal purposes. The two main thing here are “hemp products” and “medical purposes”. What do South Africans hear? “Hey, I can now leggally sell dagga and smoke it and become a dealer and open up a shop”. Don’t be a stoopit poes, hey? Be lekker.
Here is a better top 10 list. Go stream some lekker stuff over the weekend! Our pick from the Plumlist:
10# What we know so far about Noughts + Crosses
Those who have read the cult hit YA novels by Malorie Blackman will be familiar with the premise of Noughts + Crosses. The story is set in a dystopian 21st-Century London, where racial segregation is enforced by law.
On DStv & Showmax
(read more)
 #9 Cheer: so much more than a mix of gymnastics, dance and circus
Is cheerleading a sport? It is not a question that Netflix’s six-part docuseries explicitly asks. Cheer, a behind-the-scenes look at the Navarro College cheerleading team, does show cheerleading as an activity with all the drama, pain, glory, and athleticism of professional sport.
On Showmax
(read more)
#8 The Oscars in the age of streaming
The internet has changed everything… from the way we interact and consume entertainment to the Oscars. Films that were once released on the big screen are now being released on almost every screen thanks to streaming channels like Netflix, Amazon Prime Video and Showmax.
 On Amazon Prime, Netflix & Showmax 
(read more)
 #7 Untouchable paints a disturbing picture of Weinstein’s methods
Hulu timed the release of this film (now streaming on Showmax) to coincide with Harvey Weinstein’s trial (on 9 September 2019). With his attorneys arguing for a change of venue (as if this would make a difference), it ended up being delayed until January 2020 and is now underway.
On Showmax
(read more)
 #6 Sex, Explained: not as explicit as you’d expect
Sex, Explained is a new five-episode series from media company Vox narrated by musician Janelle Monaé. If you’ve seen any of the other shows in the Explained series, you’ll know what to expect: cutesy graphics and substantiated-but-approachable science in a 20-minute episode.
On Netflix
(read more)
 #5 Silicon Valley the series vs Silicon Valley IRL
Trends in entertainment can give us fascinating insights into the themes that dominate our minds. Sometimes, fantasy worlds can even overshadow the real thing. For example, the world’s biggest innovation hub, Silicon Valley in California, is a constant source of curiosity, interest and research.
On Showmax 
(read more)
 4# Stream 5 of the best romcoms of the 2010s this Valentine’s Day
These movies all rank on the Best Romantic Comedies Of All Time list on Rotten Tomatoes and have won a slew of Critics Choice and Audience Awards. They’re all heart-warming, they’re all hilarious and they’re all available to stream on Showmax.
 On Showmax
(read more)
 #3 Make your Valentine’s mouth water with these cooking shows
Newsflash, lovers! We might call music the food of love, but the real food of love is… actual food. There’s no sweeter, more romantic way to a loved one’s heart than a dinner made with sweet (and sometimes spicy) care.
On Showmax 
(read more)
 #2 Unlocking the undeniable binge-worthiness of Locke & Key
Magic and demons, fantasy and supernatural sci-fi stuff don’t get an across-the-board thumbs up from me. Sometimes they work, many times they don’t. When the trailer for Locke & Key first popped up, I was not convinced it would be something I’d enjoy.
 On Netflix
(read more)
 #1 The Handmaid’s Tale gets new life after book sequel
The Handmaid’s Tale has won widespread acclaim in the online streaming world, primarily because its creator, Hulu, distributes the first look at the show on its digital platform only.
On Showmax
(read more)

Our randomized trailer pick of the week

Each week we take a number from 1 to 10 from our list of suggestions and put it through a randomizer to choose a trailer to show you. This week it landed on our number 7 spot, Untouchable: The Rise and Fall of Harvey Weinstein!

The inside story of the meteoric rise and monstrous fall of movie titan Harvey Weinstein, revealing how Weinstein acquired and deployed his formidable power over the course of decades. Former staffers, college friends and reporters acknowledge the visionary qualities and brilliance of the man, while reflecting upon his ruthless attempts to preserve his power as scandal threatened to engulf him. In candid, emotional, often harrowing testimony – with many accusers speaking on camera for the first time – the documentary examines both the method and the collateral damage of Weinstein’s alleged abuse.

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