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Sometime last week, it appears that a BMW driver in Midrand for some unknown reason decided to use the indicator of his BMW. This totally fokken confused another BMW driver which resulted in his testosterone levels fucking out and somehow gave him a nosebleed. Because the sight of a functioning indicator is so rare in Gauteng, a crowd gathered around the two BMW drivers to ascertain as to what the fuck was actually going on. One of the guys with a boep took out his grandmother’s letter opener from its pleather sheath and threatened the other BMW with a boep. The guys threatened each other with poesklappe, but it was evident that they’ve only ever read about poesklappe online, probably on Watkykjy. They were uncertain as to how a poesklap works. Their only research was from an Afrikaans fight video called “Hugo Bel die Polisie” but unfortunately for the BMW Boep-boets, no poesklappe was handed out in that video either so they were lost at sea…

At some point another BMW driver arrived. His car was marked security, but from the oke’s actions, you could clearly see that he was totally insecure, so the words on his car was totally misleading. Unconfirmed reports indicated that he turned on his hazard lights in an effort to comfuse the two brawling boets…

There is just too much to unpack from this now very famous “sword fight” video which was filmed in Midrand Estates last week, so I’m just gonna drop some random notes without going into it in too much detail.

1. When you put the word “Estates” in front of a name, it doesn’t make the area, the name or the place any fancier. If you live in Midrand Estates, chances are that the value of you property took quite a moerse dive in the last few day. Get out while you can.
2. The first clue that gave away the location, wasn’t the BMWs, but the bystander lady. She was carrying a smôl dôg. Altough people from Pretôria alsô carry smôl dôgs, they usually roll with Yorkies or Sheewhwa-wha’s. This lady was carrying a Jack Russel, which is typically a Midrand dôg.
3. If you drive a BMW in South Africa, people have long suspected that you’re a bit of a poes. Now everone is totally gonna think you’re one.
4. Apparently everybody shook hands and they resolved it “outside of court” – nobody really gives a fuck, ok?
5. The only thing that would have made this cooler is if the one dude had poop on his face in stead of that little bit of watered down blood.
   

Have some memes and context:

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Head over to
the Plumlist for an easier top 10 compilation. There are better things to do than getting involved in some fucked up brawl:

#10 Why critics adore this little Mexican-American drama about sisterhood The left-of-centre drama series Vida, now on Showmax, follows two Mexican-American sisters from the Eastside of Los Angeles, who couldn’t be more different, or distanced, from each other.	On Showmax (read more)
#9 Fleshing out the second season of Sex Education At the end of Sex Education Season 1, leading boy Otis (22-year-old Asa Butterfield, playing 16 and totally getting away with it) was having problems coming to grips with masturbation.	On Netflix (read more)
#8 Your first look at Sophie Lichaba in the Lockdown S5 trailer Notorious for its cliffhangers, plot twists and emotional rollercoasters, Lockdown takes viewers into the daily battle for survival in the cells and offices of Thabazimbi Women’s Correctional Facility.	On Showmax (read more)
#7 Grace & Frankie has won multiple awards, and it will win your heart too Getting old is not for sissies, and that’s a fact. When you’re in your 20s and 30s and think you’re over the hill, oh honey – just wait. With each passing decade, your body will further betray you in direct proportion to your age.	On Netflix (read more)
#6 Where to stream top South African movies online Sure, it’s fun watching multi-million-dollar blockbusters on the big screen with your favourite actors blasting into space, fighting fantasy monsters in magical worlds or evil Nazis in the middle of World War II.	On Showmax (read more)
#5 Sink your teeth into these vampire series on internet TV Vampires have been sucking blood in books, movies and TV shows since uncle Bram Stoker dreamt up Count Dracula way back in 1897. Whether he’s called Count Vlad The Impaler (based on a real 15th-Century Romanian warlord), Dracula or something else, vampires and the mystery around them make for great entertainment.	On Netflix & Showmax (read more)
4# Interview: The writer of Guilt talks about creating a “quicksand story” In Guilt, two disparate brothers, high-flying lawyer Max (Mark Bonnar) and record shop owner Jake (Jamie Sives), accidentally run down an old man, Walter, on their way home from a wedding on a residential street in Edinburgh. Uninsured and under the influence, Jake is persuaded by Max to cover up their deathly deed.	On Showmax (read more)
#3 Where to find Shonda Rhimes series on internet TV in South Africa Grey’s Anatomy, How To Get Away With Murder and more award-winning drama series are currently streaming on Showmax, Netflix and DStv Now. Start from the very beginning or pick up in the latest season – your binge, your choice.	On DStv Now, Showmax & Netflix (read more)
#2 Critics pick their best shows of 2019, from Barry to Watchmen Review aggregator site Metacritic has released its round-up of TV shows that made the most Critic Top 10 Lists for 2019. Eleven of them are now streaming on Showmax.	On Showmax (read more)
#1 RIP Cool Britannia; welcome to the Brexit wars In a fashion, British culture has long seemed divisive to the outsider. Remember Cool Britannia, when the war was Oasis vs Blur? Or “do you support Manchester United or Arsenal”? Or “is your favourite prince William or Harry”?	On Showmax (read more)

[feature_headline type=”left, center, right” level=”h2″ looks_like=”h3″ icon=”lightbulb-o”] Our randomized trailer pick of the week [/feature_headline]

Each week we take a number from 1 to 10 from our list of suggestions and put it through a randomizer to choose a trailer to show you. This week it landed on our number 5 spot, Dracula!

He’s been around for centuries, but what happens when a worthy adversary bites back? From the makers of “Sherlock,” Claes Bang stars as Dracula in this brand-new series inspired by Bram Stoker’s classic novel.