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Kaptein Kortbroek knows a shitload more about rugby than most of us (especially me) and yesterday gave us his analysis and prediction for tomorrow’s game between the Bokke and the Souties. The odds are in England’s favour, but jirre, I am starting to get nervously optimistic about our chances. I actually truly believe that we will be able to deliver the goods. New Zealand just destroyed Wales and I am very thankful that we’re not playing against any of these two in the final, especially New Zealand. Fuck, the okes were dik hungry for each other! For third place! I don’t think we can expect the same level of action in tomorrow’s final because a lot of manne will suffer cardiac arrest. That doesn’t mean that it won’t be any less stressful. It are a final!!!

So I am going to feed that thing what pumps blood to my arteries some whisky tomorrow morning. You know, just for gees. Here is a thought, let’s sommer turn the final into a messy drinking game:

The rules:

• Take a shot for every phase that follows after the 10th phase in the maul. We’re playing it fokken safe here, because when we took on Wales last weekend, there were 21 phases in the 62nd minute. You’ll fokken die from alcohol poisoning if we don’t build in that buffer.
• Every time Willie Le Roux drops the fokken ball, you lift your elbow. Excuse me, why is he in tomorrow’s game?
• You know that move that Faf de Klerk makes where we hooks his heel into the ground? That it is tell-tale sign that Pollard ain’t gonna get the ball. Take a shot.
• Scrum collapse? Kry vir jou ‘n fokken shot, boet.
• Down a beer and take two shots every time Rassie clearly mouths the word “poes”. Dis die era van HD en 4K, bra – ons kan sien jy roep die geboortekanaal se voorvaders op…
  

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Head over to
the Plumlist once you’ve calmed down from the rugby you streamed and screamed. Here is our weekly top 10 to make your search for online streaming entertainment a little bit easier:

#10 Give Ngcuka some Colgate and a round of applause As each episode airs, the Mzansi Magic drama Ifalakhe continues to impress South African viewers, with its excellent production quality and the incredible performance of every actor. All we can say is, we’re yearning for more.	On DSTV Now & Showmax (read more)
#9 The Politician is House of Cards for millennials The Politician is what you might get if Wes Anderson had made Cruel Intentions as a TV series. Or if House of Cards and Glee had a baby out of wedlock.	On Netflix (read more)
#8 Fifteen horror movies to stream online Love sitting on the edge of your couch and binge-watching movies about creepy, otherworldly terrors? These are some of the scariest films now streaming in South Africa, delivering everything from blockbuster-level frights to unexpected indie twists.	On NetFlix & Showmax (read more)
#7 Godfather of Harlem’s “killer” soundtrack Based on the real-life gangster Bumpy Johnson, Godfather of Harlem opens with a long aerial shot of Alcatraz Prison. It cuts tightly to a cell door sliding open, and Forest Whitaker’s expressionless face slides into view, filling the entire screen.	On Showmax (read more)
#6 “Story is a universal language,” says Trackers creator Deon Meyer Trackers, the uniquely South African crime series based on the book by Deon Meyer, premiered on M-Net 101, DStv Now and Showmax on Sunday, October 27 2019.	On DSTV Now & Showmax (read more)
#5 Daybreak: Zombies, puberty and snark It’s hard to escape the feeling that Netflix’s latest teen-pleasing TV show could also be the poster child for the giant of streaming’s ability to harness its viewer data and create the video equivalent of paint-by-numbers – shows-by-algorithm.	On Netflix (read more)
#People think he’s kind of a dum-dum, but he can take a beating and just bounce back” Season 2 of Succession is currently #3 on Rotten Tomatoes’ list of the Best TV Shows of 2019 So Far. The bitingly funny HBO drama follows the dysfunctional Roy family, who control one of the biggest media and entertainment conglomerates in the world.	On Showmax (read more)
#3 Catch up on all seasons of Silicon Valley before S6 comes to Showmax Season 6 of HBO’s fan-favourite geeky comedy is taking the web by storm, having premiered in the States this past weekend. If you subscribe to Showmax, it’s time to get excited – Silicon Valley S6 will air on Showmax in December 2019, with the full boxset of all episodes coming first and only to the streaming platform.	On Showmax  (read more)
#2 The Star Trek: Picard trailer shows the journey is far from over Sir Patrick Stewart will be reprising his role as Captain Jean-Luc Picard, decades after leaving his original role on Star Trek: Next Generation, in a series to be released in 2020. Picard is in the next chapter of his life – and it’s not at Starfleet.	On Amazon Prime (read more)
#1 Two episodes in, HBO’s Watchmen is complex but worth the homework There are many excellent reasons that YouTube is overflowing with videos and Google has pages of articles explaining the first two episodes of HBO’s Watchmen.	On Showmax & DStv Now (read more)

[feature_headline type=”left, center, right” level=”h2″ looks_like=”h3″ icon=”lightbulb-o”] Our randomized trailer pick of the week [/feature_headline]

Each week we take a number from 1 to 10 from our list of suggestions and put it through a randomizer to choose a trailer to show you. This week it landed on our number 7 spot, Godfather of Harlem!

In the early 1960s, infamous crime boss, Bumpy Johnson returns from 10 years in prison to find the neighborhood he once ruled in shambles; with the streets controlled by the Italian mob, Bumpy must take on the Genovese crime family to regain control.

Forest Whitaker is the fokken man!