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Guys we need to talk about *Momo for a bit. Momo is fokken real. I bumped into her at the Spar on Thursday and she is living the big life. She drives the new shape BMW X3 and it is fully loaded. Her house in Waterkloof Ridge is the envy of the entire block. She obviously makes a shitload of money because not only is her car fully loaded, but so are her new tits. Her hair also looks fab. She exudes wealth.

I asked her where all the money comes from and her answer shocked me:
Afrikaans stay-at-home moms who are on Facebook 24/7 and Afrikaans tannies with lots of free time in general:  Momo explained to me that she trawls Facebook for Afrikaans tannies who believe in this type of kak, but that she pays special attention to people who don’t know how to spell so lekker and people who’s Facebook profiles are less secure than a cheap luggage lock. Those profiles what are more open for everyone to see than a whore’s legs.
“I work on the belief that ‘a fool and his money are soon parted.’ Those are the type of people you can fool the easiest”, she told me. “So I sell them this super bullshit diet coffees, you know? The ones that people believe makes you lose 2kg after a week by drinking a cup a day for a week.”
Apparently she has a lot of return customers as well, even tough they never lose the weight:
“They just keep on buying it, because even if it doesn’t work, their belief that it does, trumps all else. They almost always without fail tell me: ‘Ag, you never know, hey? Rather on the safe side'”

*Momo is an alias to protect the real identity of Momo

Now… can we focus on some real shit to keep ourselves busy with, please? Like fokken TV? Look no further, because here is our top 10 choice of what to stream in Soutrh Africa this coming week and weekend, straight from The Plumlist.
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10# Where to stream the 2019 SAFTA winners Multichoice was the big winner at the 2019 South African Film and Television Awards, taking home 48 trophies from more than 150 SAFTA nominations. And special mention goes to our friend, Hannes Brummer won Best Actor for his role as Benny Botha in Elke Skewe Pot produced by kykNET. We will get him in for an interview. Hope his head still fits through the door.	On Showmax & Dstv Now (read more)
#9 Remember that crazy Netflix series, The OA? It’s back. I need to remember to watch this again: A blind girl wakes up and she can see again. People are kidnapped and locked in glass rooms. Scientific experiments in the basement. Intricate, body-bending dance moves called the Five Movements, that, if executed properly, let you leap through space and time.	Netflix (read more)
#8 The best true-crime series to stream in South Africa Plumbing the depths of true-crime programming across streaming platforms – and it really is a deep, dark well of depravity that leaves you with the urge to take a long hot shower – reveals tales of murder, kidnapping, sexual misconduct, horror and stories ripped from headlines around the world.	Everywhere (read more)
#7 The Kids are Alright I just love period shows that make me wish I was born in that time in place. Head back to the 1970s in this comedy about an Irish-Catholic family from a working class neighbourhood near Los Angeles. With eight kids and one bathroom, there’s bound to be a whole lot of chaos. Stream from the beginning on DStv Now.	On Dstv Now (read more)
#6 Will & Grace S9 (2017) I was today old when I found out that they’ve made a brand new series! After more than a decade, not much has changed (and we’re thankful for it). Will and Grace are living under the same roof, Karen is the worst employee ever and Jack’s still looking for love in all the wrong places.	On Showmax (read more)
#5 Six reasons we’re binge-watching Ray Donovan  You would think after five seasons of bare-knuckle boxing, family feuds, alcoholism, infidelity, coming to terms with childhood sexual abuse at the hands of a priest, and losing his childhood sweetheart Abby to cancer, Ray Donovan would have nothing more to show us (and to shock us with).	On Showmax (read more)
#4 Mike Judge Presents: Tales from the Tour Bus I’ve been waiting for this series to hit Showmax for a long, long time! The legends of iconic musicians such as Johnny Paycheck and Jerry Lee Lewis are recreated in this animated biographical series narrated by Mike Judge. It includes anecdotes shared by the people who were closest to the stars.	On Showmax (read more)
#3 Netflix’s Shadow: a sneak peek Whaaaattt??? A South African seriers made it to Netflix? Wow! Here’s what we learned at the pre-screening of the first South African series to become a Netflix Original. This would have been in our number one spot, if it weren’t for Big Lebowski and Game of Thrones. I mean, come on…	On Netflix (read more)
#2 The Big Lebowski (1998) This cult classic directed by the Coen Brothers stars Jeff Bridges as The Dude, whose life is turned upside down after some goons pee on his rug. Maybe start off with this one tonight if you don’t have anything planned? Get your bath robe and your White Russians ready.	On Netflix (read more)
#1.Game of Thrones is coming to Showmax in Africa! The world is waiting in anticipation for every new image, video, teaser and scoop on the latest season of HBO’s Game of Thrones. And we’ve got good news: we have the brand-new, smoking hot trailer plus we can officially share the news that Game of Thrones S8 will be available for Showmax subscribers in Africa!	On Showmax (read more)

[feature_headline type=”left, center, right” level=”h2″ looks_like=”h3″ icon=”lightbulb-o”] Our randomized trailer pick of the week [/feature_headline]

Each week we take a number from 1 to 10 from our list of suggestions and put it through a randomizer to choose a trailer to show you. Game of Thrones came up each time!

You can’t say that the choice surprised you at all, though. The trailer was uploaded two days ago and it is already sitting on almost 35 million views! 34,829,016 views to be exact, of which 16 are mine. It is just that much of an excitement!

CAN’T. FUCKING. WAIT!