"Wat is groen en le nou op die bodem van die see? Osama, 2001 se wegkruipertjie wenner"

"Osama gaan nou 73 meerminne moet naai"

"Elton John se nuwe tune gehoor? "Sandles in the bin"

"BREAKING: US TERROR ALERT LEVEL RAISED TO "CONFETTI."

"Gadhafi increases his life cover policy."

"I hope when Obama announces Bin Laden's death, he takes off his sunglasses, says something witty and just starts blasting The Who."

"Right now, Matt Damon is in a log cabin, silently cleaning his gun and is pleased with a job well done."

"In other news, Chuck Norris returns from vacationing in Pakistan…"

"I bet Bin Laden regrets allowing his iPhone app to "use his current location"….."

"Usually it's the fish feed the seals, not the other way round."

"They should have captured Bin Laden alive and made him continually go through airport security for the rest of his life."

"What did al-Qaida learn from Osama bin Laden's death? Location, location, location."

"Looks like Jeff Dunham is going to have another partner for Achmed the Dead Terrorist"