Some of you might remember that we did a quick feature on Steel Panther a month or two ago and even dished out some free CD’s. Today we have something very special again.

Watkykjy had the opportunity to interview Michael Starr from cockrock, oversexed, bulging balls, maskara wearing band, Steel Panther. All the way from fuckin L.A. Obviously this interview will be in English for their international fans to enjoy as well. Also, Steel Panther might want to check in on us to make sure that we don’t write kak about them (hey Michael, jou ma se poes in ‘n fishpaste jar).

Just to refresh your memories, we’ll scatter some kinky photos and videos throughout the interview.

This is how it all went down:

griff: What is it like knowing that you paved the way for glam rock? Do bands like Motley Crue, Guns ‘n Roses and Poison thank you on a regular basis and leave envelopes with money with your manager?

Michael Starr: It feels great to ride the coattails of great bands like Motley Crue. I mean we are picking up where they left off and it’s an honor to do so. However, with that said, we are fucking ready to take over the world and fuck some hot bitches on the way.

griff:  I described your music as “taking ancient Greek orgies and adding cock rock and metal riffs to it”. How would you describe your music yourself?

Michael Starr: Well I think you hit it right on the head, but I think you left out cocaine that is really an important component to our lifestyle..Oh yeah, and bananas. We all love to eat bananas

griff:  It was rumoured at some point that there were no groupies left to bang in L.A. because Steel Panther has had them all. Twice. If you had to add it all up, exactly how much sex has Steel Panther had and how easy was it for you guys to pick up chicks? Also, what is the most groupies your band has banged at once?

Michael Starr: Well, we have had sex with a lot of chicks here in Hollywood. So much sex now that we are having sex with mom-and-daughter teams. Lexxi Foxx gets the girls if you add it up by weight. He loves fat girls. That’s why he wrote that song we have called “Fat Girls”.

griff:  Brett Michaels. He has a reality show. It seems that he has aged. How the fuck do guys still manage to look like you’re 35 years old? When exactly is your sell-by date? Will you end up up like Ozzy or Brett? What is the vision for the next 10 years?

Michael Starr: We are all the same age. I think Brett looks really good for as much food he eats. And Ozzy is lucky to be alive. With that said, I’m proud to endorse plastic surgery.

griff:  I’m confused. In your video, “Death To All But Metal,” someone mentions ‘Butt Metal’. Hypothetically speaking, is ‘Butt Metal’ a gay form of ‘Cock Rock,’ or is this a new term we can use to describe music? What I’m getting at is this: shall we use Butt Metal to describe someone who doesn’t get the music, or to describe metal that’s gay?

Michael Starr: Niether. Butt Metal is a term that college kids used in the late 90’s to identify Heavy Metal/Glam Rock. Sara Silverman thought it meant that we wanted to kill Heavy Metal. In her defense, she was really high that day, We all were!

griff:  I am going to teach you a new Afrikaans slang word, then you must teach me a new slang word or phrase. Here we go: “Chommie / Tjommie” is Afrikaans slang that can be translated to “friend” but is also frequently referred to as that piece of skin between a girl’s asshole and pussy that keeps you out of the shit. Your turn …

Michael Starr: Well, do you know what the shocker is? It’s 2 in the pink and one in the stink.

griff:  My friend, Chopper Charlie from Cape Town is throwing a huge cock rock party soon. It’s called Ram Jam. He has 10 copies of your CD to throw into the crowd. Have you ever been to South Africa before?

Michael Starr: Not yet, but I look forward to coming there. It’s gonna be a fucking party for sure.

griff:  South Africa’s got some of the hottest chicks. Ever banged any South African chicks?

Michael Starr: Not yet. I have to wait till I get there to make sure she is authentic.

griff:  One of our readers asked to ask you how much time you guys spend on hair and make-up and if chicks sometimes borrow your make-up without getting banged senseless.

Michael Starr: Yes, they do all the time. It’s annoying ‘cause they sometimes steal our stuff and then we look like shit at our shows.

griff:  Exactly how much is too much drugs?

Michael Starr: Well it’s never too much unless you are neglecting yourself by not eating or hanging yourself from depression.

griff:  Are you planning on coming to South Africa any time soon? We have this kick ass rock festival called Oppikoppi that takes place over a long weekend every August. It kind of reminds of Woodstock but it takes place on this farm in the bushveld. They normally have over 80 bands, including international acts. I’ll hook you up with them if you wanna come play, then you can bang chicks in the bushes. What do you guys think? Wanna come hang out?

Michael Starr: Yes, we are going to do that show. We can’t wait.

griff:  Wat kyk jy?

Michael Starr: That’s not fair.

griff:  Any last words of wisdom?

Michael Starr: Yes. Heavy Metal is coming back so start wearing spandex and cut a t-shirt ‘cause we will be there soon!

Go check your Steel Panther’s website over here. And you can get their CD “Feel The Steel” over here