Ons (griffin & chopper) se boek, Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos? word hierdie jaar (2019) teen Augustus se kant 11 jaar oud. Om dit te celebrate het ons besluit om alfabeties met die lys af te gaan en ‘n paar topics uit die boek te kies om weekliks hier op Watkykjy te publish, seinde dat ons die regte besit. Dis lekker kort stukkies wat jy op die kakhuis kan lees. Dink daaraan as jou klein zef kakhuisbybeltjie met pitkos vir elke dag… Wel, elke dag tot ons die boek se einde bereik.
Roomyskarretjies se deuntjies Baie creepy. Dis altyd ‘n trekkerige herhaling van ‘n wysie wat skaars bo die ou Volkswagen kombi se oop enjin aan die agterkant hoorbaar is. ‘n Klankteken vir kinders om roekeloos oor die pad te hardloop sonder om links, regs en weer links te kyk, want daar is roomys aan die einde van daai wysie. Duur roomys en ‘n gekroek met die kleingeld as jy nie iemand bo negejarige ouderdom saam met jou neem nie.
Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Al Tos is in 2008 geskryf en uitgegee en daar was so baie copies verkoop dat ons dit in 2009 laat herdruk het. All-in-all is daar nog net so 10 onverkoopte copies oor op aarde en ons sal teen Augustus se kant besluit wat om met hulle te maak. Kort antwoord – dis nie tans te koop nie.
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I got so fokken deurmekaar with all the Marvel Movies and in which order it goes, so I did some research so you can start at the right place and watch them in the correct order. It should keep you busy for quite some time. You’re gonna need a world of popcorn:
Captain America: The First Avenger (takes place during WWII)
Steve Rogers, a rejected military soldier transforms into Captain America (Chris Evans) after klapping some drugs in the form of a “Super-Soldier serum”. Being Captain America comes at a price though. He attempts to take down some doos from a terrorist organization.
Captain Marvel (takes place in 1995) Carol Danvers (Brie Larson) becomes fucking strong and more powerful than the Guptas when Earth is caught in the middle of a moerse war between two alien races. This is high up in my top 5 of the series of 23 movies. I watched Endgame before this movie and I was like: who the fuck was that awesome chick? Don’t make the same mistake…
Iron Man (takes place in 2010)
Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) is chilling in some caves in Afghanistan. Actually, hang on. He is a prisoner, so it is lank kak. But… he also happens to be a billionaire engineer, so he creates a unique weaponized suit of armor to fuck up evil. the suit is poes expensive. But Tony can afford it.
Iron Man 2 (takes place after Iron Man) So becasue of the first movie, the entire world now knows who Tony Stark is. Also his health is taking a bit of a knock and he has to deal with some doos who somehow knew his dad.
The Incredible Hulk (time unspecified, pre-Avengers) O jesus, this is the one with Edward Norton in the role of Bruce Banner where he is a scientists who is constantly fleeing from the US government. Also, he turns into a (physically) big green douche canoe with a kak temper and he is trying to find a cure before he wrecks alles in his path. Hulk SMASH!
Thor (time unspecified, pre-Avengers) Thor (Chris Hemsworth) is a very powerful but cunty god-asshole who lives in Asgard and gets cast out to go live on earth with us boring earthlings. Luckily for us he becomes on of our coolest defenders. Pweh!
The Avengers (takes place in 2012) Remember, you need to watch the one from 2012 and not the piece of shit movie with Uma Thurman and Ralp Fiennes with the 3.8 rating from 1998. That was a fokken car crash of a movie. In this one, Nick Fury (old Smauel L) is the director of S.H.I.E.L.D.- the who’s who of Marvel Super Heroes which includes Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Thor, Captain America, Hawkeye and Black Widow. Hawkeye, stop die lorrie!
Iron Man 3 (takes place six months after The Avengers) Tony Stark takes shots again from all angles. He gets fucked up by a terrorist called the Mandarin and he starts an odyssey of rebuilding and retribution. I think this is the one with the fuck loads of robots and CGI which made me very dizzy to the point of where I nearly threw up outside my mouth.
Thor: Dark World (post-Avengers, pre-Ultron) Excuse me? Dark Elves want to plunge the universe into darkness? Here, have a 6.9 rating…
Captain America: Winter Soldier (post-Avengers, pre-Ultron) Old Cap’n Steve is a bit of an old soul and is battling with modern times. Cell phones? Literally can’t deal. Also, he has to fight an oke called Winter Soldier. I sukkeled with this one, to be honest.
Guardians of the Galaxy (sometime in 2014) This one is also in my top 5. Jokes and one-liners galore! Pllenty of action! I am Groot! Afrikaans is Groot se fokken ma! Plus that little trashpanda has some serious fokken houding.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (after Guardians) The Guardian are kakking off a bit. They are struggling to function as a unit and there are family issues to boot. Star-Lord’s encounter with his father causes kak, for instance…
Avengers: Age of Ultron (takes place in 2015) Iron Man and Hulk need to kick start a peacekeeping program called Ultron. As expected, things turn out quite kak.
Ant-Man (takes place in 2015) I love Paul Rudd in any movie he has ever made. What a guy! Like the name of the movie suggests, he can go kak small with his kief suit. But he can also go super large and at the same time his strength increases. Like a a shitload. What a fun movie! Maak kak!
Captain America: Civil War (post-Ultron, pre-Infinity War)
I actually just realized that Captain America is my least favorite superhero. In this installment, political involvement in the Avengers’ affairs causes a moere rift between Captain America and Iron Man. Fokken yawn, bra!
Spider-Man: Homecoming (post-Civil War, pre-Infinity War) Spiderman in high school. This was actually pretty watchable as it is not as serious as some of the movies later down the series.
Doctor Strange (takes place in 2016) A brilliant neurosurgeon, played by Benedict Cucumber Patch is drawn into the world of the mystic arts. This one also gave me a bit a motion sickness but it was still a lekker movie.
Black Panther (takes place in 2017) Welcome to Wakanda, which looks very suspiciously like Botswana, the Kruger Park or Pretoria North when they’ve had a kief rainy season. T’Challa must lead his peeps to a new future but at the same time deal with some needy turdcake who wants to ascent to the throne. This movie is probably exactly how Americans imagine Africa, but like with fuckloads more tech and a lot less load shedding and rhino poaching.
Thor: Ragnarok (post-Ultron, pre-Infinity War) This time Thor is not banished, but imprisoned on the planet Sakaar and a lot of shit goes down. The movie is damn hilarious at times. Even if you just watch it for Jeff Goldblum’s role. This was a a lot of fun!
Avengers: Infinity War (takes place in 2017) Thanos. What a cunt. Everybody dies.
Ant-Man and The Wasp (ambiguous, but fits nicely between IW and Endgame) I see these movies as more of a fun distraction rather than seriously contributing to the main story-line. They are heaps of fun! I can’t even remember what happens in this one. I think Paul Rudds wife or girlfriend becomes The Wasp. They go big and small and fly around and fuck shit up proper.
Avengers: Endgame (starts in 2017, finishes in 2022) This saga follows the events after everybody died in Infinity War. Thanos is still a big poes. I am in love with Brie Larson. And Scarlett Johansson. And Evangeline Lilly. And Paul Rudd. They fuck shit up.
Spider-Man: Far From Home (post-Endgame) Following the events of Avengers: Endgame (2019), Spider-Man has some pretty big fokken shoes to fill. I can’t tell you who’s shoes those are, because then I will basically spoil everything by telling you who died in Infinity War when everyone on earth died.
Head over to the Plumlist for our top 10 pick of the week. See what you can stream in South Africa and go pick your winners.
#10 Why SOA virgins and fans will love Mayans MC
t’s one thing learning to ride a bike. It’s another being part of a biker gang who thrive on beers, brawls and breaking the law.
#9 Four languages and one location make Criminal a TV first Netflix’s new police procedural, Criminal, embraces minimalism with the fervour of a recent Marie Kondo convert, and, boy, does it spark joy.
#8 The most depraved killers in 13 seasons of Criminal Minds – and 6 times our heroes almost died Fourteen seasons, 314 episodes – it’s not an understatement to say this crime procedural series is a ratings hit for CBS.
#7 M-Net Sunday Night Movies for October 2019 Don’t stress if you miss the movie on Sunday night – it will be available to stream every week on the DStv Now app at your own leisure. Here are the movies coming in October.
#6 Taraji P Henson’s triple threat: 3 must-watch titles Paraji P Henson has captured the hearts of many, whether she’s playing your favourite character on screen or strutting the red carpet in designs that have wowed the fashion world.
#4 HBO’s His Dark Materials to launch in SA in November 2019 Fans of fantasy fiction will be familiar with Philip Pullman’s magnificent trilogy of novels called His Dark Materials. A movie based on the first book The Golden Compass came out in 2007, but it didn’t live up to expectations. Now, the BBC has produced a lavish eight-episode series, which will be available only on Showmax from 5 November 2019.
#3 Who was Bumpy Johnson, the Godfather of Harlem? Those who live by the sword don’t always die by it. Bumpy Johnson didn’t, succumbing to a heart attack instead, age 62, while having breakfast with some friends.
#2 Catch up on these 7 long-running series before streaming the final seasons on DStv Now These fan-favourite shows are about to bow out of our lives for good – but before they do, make sure you’re up to date by streaming previous seasons on internet TV.
#1 Meet the cast of Trackers On 27 October 2019, the first 90-minute episode of Trackers will land on M-Net at 20:05. Yes, you read correctly – in the slot that’s usually reserved for the Sunday Night Movie!
Each week we take a number from 1 to 10 from our list of suggestions and put it through a randomizer to choose a trailer to show you. This week it landed on our number 10 spot, Mayans M.C.
Set in a post-Jax Teller world of Sons of Anarchy, “Mayans MC” sees EZ Reyes, a former golden boy now fresh out of prison, as a prospect in the Mayan MC charter on the California-Mexico border who must carve out his new outlaw identity.
So far I’m really getting into this new series!
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griffinHere is the correct order in which you have to watch all the Marvel movies!
Net soos dit moeilik raak om musiek te maak wat outentiek en “nuut” klink, net so uitdagend word dit om reviews te skryf wat oorspronklik is en ‘n substantiewe boodskap kan oordra. Ek voel of ek al die uitdrukkings, cool idees en woorde wat my brein mee vorendag kan kom al opgebruik het. Autotune my reviews? Social media het meer van ‘n vloek as ‘n seën geword deesdae. Jirre, hoeveel van dieselfde kosfototjies, geprogrameerde herinneringe, check-ins by restaurante, selfies wat ge-photoshop is, herwinde meme grappietjies en clichéd wyshede kan jy konstant in jou brein forseer voor jy wil kots? Dit maak mense regoor die planeet depressief en angstig. “I’m living with the black dog, a dark and savage beast. I try my best to tame him, but I keep him on a leash. I got turn tables and microphones for all the voices in my head. I can play a mean guitar, but rock and roll is dead.” Hoekom soek mense validation op Facebook en Instagram as hulle lewens dan so perfek is?
Die tunes op hierdie album is catchy pop, alternative en reggae. Die lirieke is nie eintlik bedoel vir vlak en dom mense nie en dis nie maklik om in ‘n boksie te druk nie. Op die oppervlakte klink dit na fun, nostalgiese musiek maar daar is baie dieper undertones en vrae oor die moderne samelewing wat of blatant gesing word of wegkruip tussen die lyne, reg om jou te oorval op ‘n random Dinsdagmiddag. “Wake up! You’re stuck in a dream!” Hoekom bevraagteken meer mense nie die “normaliteit” van die stapelgek wêreld waarin ons leef nie? “Hello, can anyone hear me? I’m looking for sanity, in a world that’s gone mad”.
Digitale integrasie het ons lewens en menseverhoudinge heeltemaal oorgeneem. Gee niemand om dat ons finaal elke aspek van ons lewens verkoop het aan die corporate masjien nie? Couch activism? What a joke. Negatiewe trolle. Been there, done that. Boelies? Fok net plein weg! Is mense so verslaaf daaraan on hulle mediocre lewens oor en oor te verkoop as opwindende dat hulle blind staan teenoor hoe dit ons langtermyn affekteer? Al hoe minder mense koop dit, by the way. Dit wat jy post om FOMO te vermy verdrink anyway net in ‘n see van die nuwe middelmatigheid. Hoe real is ons digital lewens? Jou 5 Seconds of Fame is nou meer soos ‘n sekonde lank. Spot Daaf Vapor met die status quo of lewer hy net kommentaar? Albei, dink ek. Oorbeklemtoon social media die negatiewe goed soos korrupsie en misdaad? Meer as in die ou printed media en TV van ouds? Raak ons gevoelloos teenoor al die posts van ons helde wat elke dag sterf? “All of my heroes are dead, they quietly slipped away”. Die titelsnit Northam Lights is ‘n Pink Floydian psychedelic hat-tip na daai eertydse rock festival op die plaas waarheen niemand hierdie jaar toe kon gaan nie. Daaf Vapor gee ‘n paar oplossings vir al die probleme waaroor hy sing. Net in die songs It’s a nice Day for Freedom en Tribe eintlik. Geniet die planeet en buitelewe. Wees life vir jou bure. Soek weer jou tribe. Mense wat saakmaak. Take back control of your life. Die regte lewe en die digitale een is nie veronderstel om te verskil nie. Persoonlik, filter ek al die bullshit clutter wat mense aan my try afsmeer deesdae…