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Restauranttoilette – Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos?

In Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Alles Tos? deur griffin en Chopper CharlieRek jou bek

Ons (griffin & chopper) se boek, Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos? word hierdie jaar (2019) teen Augustus se kant 11 jaar oud. Om dit te celebrate het ons besluit om alfabeties met die lys af te gaan en ‘n paar topics uit die boek te kies om weekliks hier op Watkykjy te publish, seinde dat ons die regte besit. Dis lekker kort stukkies wat jy op die kakhuis kan lees. Dink daaraan as jou klein zef kakhuisbybeltjie met pitkos vir elke dag… Wel, elke dag tot ons die boek se einde bereik.

Restauranttoilette
Jy het klaar gevreet el wat wat oorbly is die laaste paar drankies en Irish koffie voor jy die rekening plus tien persent aan die kelner, wat elke vyf minute kom vra het of alles nog orraait is, moet oorhandig. Maar eers moet jy die bruin beertjies gaan aflaai en jou handjies was.
Daar gekom, staan jy voor twee keuses: links of regs. Op die linkerkantse deur is daar een of ander moderne, gepoleerde staalfiguur wat so abstrak is dat jy nie kan uitmaak wat dit is nie, en op die regterkantse deur is daar een of ander moderne gepoleerde staalfiguur wat so abstrak is dat jy nie kan uitmaak wat dit is nie. Party plekke probeer snaaks wees soos om bordjies met “Onderwysers” en “Sonderwysers” op die deure aan te bring. Wat probeer hulle doen? Poog hulle om simpel mense in hulle broeke te laat pis? Wat het geword van gewone mannetjies en vroutjies?
Die enigste manier om vir seker te weet is om maar ‘n deur te kies en jou ding te gaan doen. As jy gelukkig is, is daar uninals waar jy langs iemand kan gaan staan en pielgroottes vergelyk. Dan weet jy ten minste jy’s in die regte plek. Of jy kan per ongeluk by die dames kamerverlaat inloop op ‘n vrou wat besig is om haar dogtertjie te help, en vir die res van die aand skuldig voel.
Aan alle restauranteienaars: Dis ‘n toilet, for fuck’s sake. Ek wil net pis, my rekening betaal en loop. Ek wil nie die keuse van ‘n halwe spoel of ‘n vol spoel vir strale op stywes hê nie. Hou ook asseblief die die plek skoon, maak seker julle deure kan in fact toemaak en hou hou maar die boudservette stock hoog. Ons werk met kos hier, ouens.

Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Al Tos is in 2008 geskryf en uitgegee en daar was so baie copies verkoop dat ons dit in 2009 laat herdruk het. All-in-all is daar nog net so 10 onverkoopte copies oor op aarde en ons sal teen Augustus se kant besluit wat om met hulle te maak. Kort antwoord – dis nie tans te koop nie.


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Watkykjy staan op 24,944 post views in totaal sedert 1 November, 2019.

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griffin en Chopper CharlieRestauranttoilette – Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos?
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And the winner is… colour TV!

In Movies en TV deur griffinRek jou bek

Our top 10 weekly selection of DSTV Now | Showmax | YouTube | Netflix | Amazon Prime
It is really weird to think that Television used to be black and white and glitchy and it sounds terribly backwards but that is an era of which South Africa wasn’t really part of, except of course for the odd broadcast of the old imported movies from the overseas.

We sommer klapped colour straight from the get-go with the first broadcast on January 5, 1976. Which is fokken ironic because back in the day all the old apartheid dose could see, was black and white. When Neil Armstong landed on the moon in 1969, South Africa was one of the few countries unable to watch the event live because we had major assholes like Verwoerd and Hertzog. Not experiencing the moonlanding was kind of part of the last straw of gatvolness and feeling excluded from the rest of the world that got the ball rolling, albeit fokken slowly and met with resistance.

Prime Minister Hendrik Verwoerd for instance compared television with atomic bombs and poison gas, claiming that “they are modern things, but that does not mean they are desirable. The government has to watch for any dangers to the people, both spiritual and physical.” 

No fucking wonder we struggled to move forward. Another dickhead who cock-blocked the entire nation was Dr. Albert Hertzog, Minister for Posts and Telegraphs. Back then, in our modern terms, his title basically meant that he was the big boss of the Post Office who could also decide over the use of  SMSes, WhatsApp, data, DStv, the entire interweb and our precious porn. At the time he said that television would come to South Africa “over my dead body!” further tuning that it was “only a miniature bioscope which is being carried into the house and over which parents have no control.”

Jissis calm the fuck down, boet. Does this look gevaarlik to you, huh?

Thankfully South Africa caught up with the rest of the world and actually excelled at all aspects of television for quite some time until Hlaudi Motsoening gave the SABC the penis of death a few years back. But we need to look at the positives and the other players outside the state entering the ring – if it weren’t for the likes of M-Net/Multichoice and DStv we would have been completely fucked.

The same goes for streaming services such as Netflix, Amazon Prime, YouTube and Showmax. Basically the interweb in general – it was our savior. Just go look at all the Emmy nominees and winners from the past week and go match them up with the streaming platforms for yourself. We have come very, very far.  It will be interesting to look back in twenty years from now to see how colour TV has evolved. For now it is still on our phones, TVs, cars, planes, tablets, PCs and wrist watches. What is next? An implant? ESP?  A pill up your ass?

Please don’t tell me it is a pill up my ass…

Get your fix of colour TV from
the Plumlist for our top 10 pick of the week to check what you can stream in South Africa, unless you’re planning on reversing over your internet with your bakkie as well…
#10 Life after dark in SAFTA-winning documentary Six to Six
Night after night, Taariq, Lungi and Pierre wait for people to die. They aren’t ghouls. They are three of the forensic pathology officers at one of Cape Town’s busiest morgues – Salt River Mortuary.
On Showmax
(read more)
 #9 Interview: Stroop filmmakers reveal the toll it took to tell this “true, raw rhino story”
Multi award-winning South African documentary Stroop: Journey into Rhino Horn War isn’t here to tell you what to do to save rhinos.
 On Showmax & DStv 
(read more)
#8 Seven Leon Schuster movies to watch online
He’s one of SA’s most successful filmmakers, and he’s a SAMA winner, too (thanks to his 1995 CD Hier Kom Die Bokke, which was the year’s top-selling album in SA). Now you can relive Schuster’s heyday with these movies available to stream on Showmax and DStv Now.
 On DStv Now & Showmax
(read more)
 #7 Proudly South African series and movies up for international awards
This week, at Jackson Wild, arguably the Oscars of the wildlife film world, Stroop is up for the Impact Award and South African Bonné de Bod is competing – against the likes of Dame Judi Dench – for the Best Presenter title.
On Showmax
(read more)
 #6 Streamin’ La Vida Loca: Jane the Virgin and more Latino TV shows
Broadcast from 2006 till 2010, the charming Ugly Betty brought an utterly engaging US Latina character to the small screen in the shape of geeky Betty Suarez, played by America Ferrera.
On DStv Now, Showmax & Netflix
(read more)
 #5 SA consumers vote for DStv Now as their fave streaming app
Paid Streaming Service was one of eight new categories included in this year’s survey, which is in its 21st year. South Africa’s consumers voted Netflix in at 3rd place, Showmax in at 2nd place, and DStv Now took 1st place.
On DStv Now 
(read more)
 #4 New mom? Watch these shows about the realness of motherhood
Welcome to motherhood. You’ve survived everything that pregnancy could throw at you and have welcomed a shiny new little human into the world.
 On Netflix & Showmax
(read more)
 #3 Your ultimate comfort TV watchlist
A well-curated watch list is a thing of beauty. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has an algorithm-defying selection of top notch – Plum Picks, if you will – series and movies on all my platforms.
On All streaming platforms
(read more)
 #2 How this Emmy-nominated show won critics over with one weird choice
PEN15, one of two first-time Emmy nominees for Outstanding Comedy Writing in 2019, is now streaming on Showmax. PEN15 follows 13-year-old besties Maya and Anna as they navigate – and try to survive
 On Showmax
(read more)
 #1 The biggest winners at the 2019 Emmy Awards and where to find them
When you’re passionate about television, it’s impossible to remain neutral when it comes to the Emmys (or any awards for that matter). Your bias towards your favourite shows will have you hissing and booing if they don’t win; the opposite is also true.
On Amazon Prime, Netflix & Showmax
(read more)

Our randomized trailer pick of the week

Each week we take a number from 1 to 10 from our list of suggestions and put it through a randomizer to choose a trailer to show you. This week it landed on our number 9 spot, Stroop:

The South African feature documentary STROOP – Journey into the Rhino Horn War is an independently made film about the rhino poaching crisis – released in 2018. Expect unique footage – from the killing fields of the Kruger Park to bush town courtrooms and the dingy back rooms of Vietnamese wildlife traffickers. This multiple award-winning documentary about Rhino Poaching will take you to from the poachers to the buyers.

You’re going to shed a lot of tears, but it necessary to watch this doccie. Everybody in South Africa should see it:

Hierdie post is 5 keer in totaal gelees en 1 keer vandag gelees.

Watkykjy staan op 24,944 post views in totaal sedert 1 November, 2019.

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griffinAnd the winner is… colour TV!
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Moderne Dylan vibes met Passenger se Sometimes It’s Something, Sometimes It’s Nothing

In Rolbees Reviews deur RolbeesRek jou bek

Ek gaan vandag fokus op ‘n baie spesifieke klank – a desolate folk sound within the broader sad folk sound, of so iets. Ek sal my bes probeer om nie te oorvereenvoudig nie…

Dylan het dit seker maar famous gemaak met van sy eerste werke in die early sixties. Authentic acoustic tunes, real lirieke, dik melankoliese vibe. Hy het dit ook maar by die ou blues legends geleer (Robert Johnson, Lead Belly en so) maar van daar af het dit in verskillende vertakkinge ontwikkel in die seventies, amper uitgesterf in die eighties en in die nineties het die platemaatskappye en MTV ‘n bietjie daarvan weer saam met grunge bemark.

Kaching! Ou Mammon! Wie het die klankknoppie waarvan ek praat meer na die kommersiële kant laat draai in die seventies? Maybe Cat Stevens? Don MacLean? John Denver? In die naughties het dit skaarser geraak op die charts. Artists soos Plain White T’s en Damien Rice het dit aan die lewe en populȇr help hou. Hey There Delilah is steeds ‘n beautiful song, nie waar nie?

Nou ja, deesdae kan jy hordes artists op Spotify raak stream wat sulke songs record maar dis nog steeds nie maklik om bo die clutter uit te styg nie. Ek was van plan om Passenger se 2018 album, Runaway te review omdat Liny Kruger die naam in ons ore gefluister het. Dié album het ‘n voller band sound en alhoewel dit nie te bad is nie, het ek nog so bietjie verder rondgesnuffel en afgekom kom op die nuutste offering van Passenger wat in Maart hierdie jaar uitgereik is. Sometimes It’s Something, Sometimes It’s Nothing. En daar haak my brein in trurat vas en dis nou net waar ek al die boegenoemde konneksies kon maak al die pad terug na Dylan se Freewheelin’ album toe (circa 1963).

Passenger gebruik nou nie daai bekfluitjie nie maar moenie twee keer dink nie – dis orraait, hoor? Want Passenger het ‘n String Quartet. So saam met die akoestiese kitaar onderstreep dit Michael David Rosenberg se unieke stem. Jis, dis ‘n verskriklike mooi offering hierdie. Die band Passenger is mos eintlik lankal nie meer nie en Michael tree al vir klomp jare solo op en gebruik net Passenger as verhoognaam. Dis meer vir die breër mark, so die vorige materiaal is nie iets wat ek normaalweg baie sou luister nie maar hierdie laaste ene is baie spesiaal. Selfs die cover van Bill Withers se Aint’ No Sunshine is befok.

Passenger kom SA toe later die jaar maar die shows is almal sold out, lyk dit my. Bummer! So as jy die trein gemis het, gooi maar hierdie album op die stroombaan. Draai die ligte bietjie af of steek ‘n kers aan. Skink ‘n ou ietsietjie. Jy gaan die songs Only Time en Paper Cut Chinese Burn ‘n paar keer op repeat moet gooi.

Snuggle op met liefie. Soos die weer nou lyk gaan almal sjerrie nodig hȇ in die Somer. #ClimateStrike #FridaysForFuture.

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Watkykjy staan op 24,944 post views in totaal sedert 1 November, 2019.

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RolbeesModerne Dylan vibes met Passenger se Sometimes It’s Something, Sometimes It’s Nothing