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Charlotte McKinney – Woensdag se warm bokkie

In Warm Bokkies deur griffinRek jou bek

Charlotte McKinney lyk soos een van daai gooste wat met tiete gebore is. Sy het aanvanklik gesukkel om modelwerk te kry en het besluit om Instagram ‘n shot te gee. Dit het gewerk, want Esquire het besluit om haar te feauture en dit het gelei tot ‘n campaign vir Guess. Sy het ook rolle gekry in die nuwe movie adaptations van Flatliners en Baywatch (so suprise there aangesien sy al haar tiete ingepak het) en daar is nog so paar dinge op die horison. Sy het egter die koppe laat draai met 2015 se Superbowl in ‘n advertensie vir Carl’s Jr.’s All Natural Burgers. Hierdie ad het gesorg dat mense na haar begin verwys het as “the next Kate Upton”. Check dit uit. Dis feitlik net hare en tiete:

griffinCharlotte McKinney – Woensdag se warm bokkie
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Parkeergarages – Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos?

In Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Alles Tos? deur griffin en Chopper CharlieRek jou bek

Ons (griffin & chopper) se boek, Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos? word hierdie jaar (2019) teen Augustus se kant 11 jaar oud. Om dit te celebrate het ons besluit om alfabeties met die lys af te gaan en ‘n paar topics uit die boek te kies om weekliks hier op Watkykjy te publish, seinde dat ons die regte besit. Dis lekker kort stukkies wat jy op die kakhuis kan lees. Dink daaraan as jou klein zef kakhuisbybeltjie met pitkos vir elke dag… Wel, elke dag tot ons die boek se einde bereik.

Parkeergarages – Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos?
Die alternatief daartoe om jou kar aan die genade van lapswaaiers oor te laat is om in ‘n parkade te parkeer, veral as jy ongelukkig genoeg is om ‘n winkelsentrum te besoek. En dit kom met ‘n eiesoortige frustrasie.
Jy moet agter een of ander onbeholpe dame wag dat sy eers met die helfte van haar bolyf by die karvesnter uithang om haar parkeerkaartjie by te kom. Sy kom dan agter dat haar tiete dit nie oor die half-oop venster gaan maak nie en wurm terug in die kar in sodat sy kan reverse, wat ‘n kettingreaksievir jou en almal agter jou tot gevolg het. As jy gelukkig is, sal daar iemand reg langs die boom gate staan om die kaartjie te oorhandig – bietjie van ‘n simpel sisteem as jy in ag neem dat hierdie outomatiese arms en drukkers juis daar geplaas is sodat niemand as kaartjie-oorhandiger aangestel hoef te word nie.
Ná jou inkopies is dit eers tyd vir parkering betaal. Omdat jy net R50 by jou het en die masjien nie jou R2 muntstuk wil vat nie (al is hy warm gevryf teen die betaalpaneel), stap jy met ‘n halwe kilo se kleingeld weg. En bewaar jou siel as jy die kaartjie wegbliksem. Mens kan net nie wen nie.

Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Al Tos is in 2008 geskryf en uitgegee en daar was so baie copies verkoop dat ons dit in 2009 laat herdruk het. All-in-all is daar nog net so 10 onverkoopte copies oor op aarde en ons sal teen Augustus se kant besluit wat om met hulle te maak. Kort antwoord – dis nie tans te koop nie.


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griffin en Chopper CharlieParkeergarages – Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos?
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Dis naweek, kom ons fokken duik!

In Dis naweek kom ons fokken duik! deur griffinRek jou bek

Sit ‘n tune aan, want hierdie is ‘n fokken feit: musiek klink altyd beter op Vrydae.

griffinDis naweek, kom ons fokken duik!
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Boris and Trump. Name a worse duo, I’ll wait.

In Movies en TV deur griffinRek jou bek

Our top 10 weekly selection of DSTV Now | Showmax | YouTube | Netflix | Amazon Prime

Can we please get up from our chairs and give Britain a slow clap for electing (by a staggering 0.2% of the nation’s will), the bumbling buffoon, Boris Johnson, as their new prime minister. This ass-hat was one of the most prominent pro-Brexit campaigners in 2016, and now he has inherited a political fuckup that, when you break it down, still looks a long way from being resolved. But it is a fuckup that he feeds and pets every day. Just by reading his name, I bet you 100 quid that by thinking of Boris’ stupid face and his stupid hairstyle, it made you think of stupid Donald Trump and his own stupid hairstyle.

They are like… toupees in a pod…
*puts on sunglasses*
YEEEAAAAAAAAH!

This past Tuesday evening, Trump said of the “victory”:
“We have a really good man who is going to be the Prime Minister of the UK now. Boris Johnson. Good man. He’s tough and he’s smart. They’re saying, ‘Britain Trump.’ They call him Britain Trump and people are saying that’s a good thing,” They like me over there. That’s what they wanted. That’s what they need.”

Right. On. Queue.

This is the closest that Trump will ever get to sucking his own cock – by closing his eyes and pretending that another ‘tremendous and very clever’ man with a similar hairstyle is doing it. But he is 20 years younger and has a British accent.
#GrabThemByThePeePee

Both these guys are horrible people, although you don’t have to go look far and wide for Trump’s racist and shitty-as-a-person remarks. You just need to open his Twitter feed at any time of the day and look at the latest tweet. With Johnson you need to dig a little deeper. Literally just a little bit. These two guys are very similar. Of course there are already news articles and columns out telling us that they are totally not the same. Fine, please compare some their good qualities to Nelson Mandela then.

Johnson has said incredibly controversial things in newspaper columns and on public platforms over the years, for instance saying that women who wear Islamic face veils look “like letterboxes”. He also used racist terms to describe people from the British Commonwealth. Back In 2007, Johnson ridiculed Clinton’s physical appearance in his Telegraph column, writing: “She’s got dyed blonde hair and pouty lips, and a steely blue stare, like a sadistic nurse in a mental hospital.”

Here are a few more:
On Papua New Guinea:
“For 10 years we in the Tory party have become used to Papua New Guinea-style orgies of cannibalism and chief-killing.”

On the DRC:
“No doubt the AK47s will fall silent and the pangas will stop their hacking of human flesh and the tribal warriors will all break out in watermelon smiles to see the big white chief touch down in his big white British taxpayer-funded bird.”

and on the entire African continent:
“The continent may be a blot, but it is not a blot upon our conscience. The problem is not that we were once in charge, but that we are not in charge any more.”

Boris refused to say whether he thought Trump’s tweets were racist, but both these turds seem to suffer from amnesia, because of his new best bud, Trump, he once said: “The only reason I wouldn’t visit some parts of New York is the real risk of meeting Donald Trump. I am genuinely worried that he could become president. I was in New York and some photographers were trying to take a picture of me and a girl walked down the pavement towards me and she stopped and she said, ‘Gee is that Trump?’ It was one of the worst moments.”

You’re going to have to stew in your own shit, dear UK. You had your chance with Brexit and treated it like a massive joke. Similarly, America thought the Trump election was massive joke. You don’t get the prime minister you wanted. You got the one you deserved.

Boris Johnson’s own father sums it up very nicely:
“They have the same hairstyle. I think they will get on.”

And that in a nutshell, is why you cant’t have nice things…

I am going to switch off the news for the entire weekend and watch TV.
Plumlist’s top 10 will help you do the same:

# 10 The essence of a black woman who goes for everything she desires
Bonang Matheba is undoubtedly one of the biggest stars in South Africa. She’s been hailed as the “queen” of the South African entertainment industry, and her awards, magazine covers, business deals and other achievements speak volumes.
On Showmax
(read more)
 #9 Ten reasons we still love the US Office
Over its eight seasons The Office served up plenty of laughs, tearjerkers, romantic moments and at least one instance of kitty flinging. These are some of the best of them, and a reminder that the best shows never die… they’re simply reborn on a new format (hello, streaming wars).
 On Amazon Prime
(read more)
#8 The hit romcom Younger is reinventing itself in Season 6
Season 6 of Younger, the hit rom-com currently up for Teen Choice Awards for Summer TV Show and Summer TV Star: Female (Hilary Duff), is now streaming first on Showmax in South Africa.
 On  Showmax
(read more)
 #7 Grassroots brings together a tremendously talented group of female cast members
Grassroots is a 13-part local series that explores the trials and tribulations of two young men whose passion for rugby leads them into a new stage of their lives. But what is also compelling about this series is its elite female cast members, including the likes of Zikhona Sodlaka, Lerato Mvelase and Connie Chiume.
On DStv Now
(read more)
 #6 Must love zombies: 3 freshly undead flicks that break the mould
Zombie movies never seem to die! To be taken seriously, these dystopian nightmares require a viral outbreak and can never utter the z-word. And then there are movies like these, which you can stream on Netflix and Showmax whenever the urge for offbeat horror takes hold.
 On Netflix & Showmax
(read more)
 #5 TFW the life you’re sleepwalking through suddenly comes banging pots and pans over your head
Megan Tucker (Diaan Lawrenson, 7de Laan’s ex-Paula) is the image of sleek suburban perfection until the day that her charming chancer of a husband Lloyd’s (Neels van Jaarsveld, Binnelanders’ Dr Gideon Basson) house of cards falls apart and he’s arrested for tax fraud in the tragic-comic South African film Table Manners (2018, first on Showmax).
 On Showmax 
(read more)
 #4 The Star Trek: Picard trailer shows the journey is far from over
Sir Patrick Stewart will be reprising his role as Captain Jean-Luc Picard, decades after leaving his original role on Star Trek: Next Generation, in a series to be released in 2020. Picard is in the next chapter of his life – and it’s not at Starfleet
 On Amazon Prime
(read more)
 #3 Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee shows that Jerry Seinfeld has much more to do about nothing
Jerry Seinfeld is one of the greatest comedians to walk the planet! As the co-creator and star of the popular and influential New York sitcom Seinfeld, he never has to work again. Although as a stand-up comedian, he’d probably argue that he never has … backed up by his immortal jacket, collared shirt, jeans and sneakers “work suit”.
On Netflix
(read more)
 #2 An adventure that breaks all the rules about heroism
One of the highlights of the film is Disney’s irreverence to its own intellectual property. Snow White, for example, wears a T-shirt emblazoned with the word “Poison” above a picture of an apple. Better still is Vanellope’s interaction with Snow White and the entire cast of Disney princesses, who ask her a series of questions about what kind of princess she is.
 On DStv Now
(read more)
 #1 This teen series for adults only is jaw-droppingly explicit
Exquisitely filmed using various interesting techniques, Euphoria follows “a group of teens as they navigate drugs, sex, identity, trauma, social media, love and friendship.” Ironically, it’s for adults only, and carries an extra warning ahead of the HBO intro logo.
 On Showmax
(read more)

Our randomized trailer pick of the week

Each week we take a number from 1 to 10 from our list of suggestions and put it through a randomizer to choose a trailer to show you. This week it landed on our number 2 spot, Disney’s 2018 hit, Ralph Breaks the Internet. At its heart, Ralph Breaks the Internet is a buddy film, as Ralph and Vanellope find themselves on an adventure in cyberspace. Both are arcade characters, but it is Ralph who is an analogue creature in a digital world; an 8-bit character in an HD environment.

griffinBoris and Trump. Name a worse duo, I’ll wait.