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Taxi’s – Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos?

In Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Alles Tos? deur griffin en Chopper CharlieRek jou bek

Ons (griffin & chopper) se boek, Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos? word hierdie jaar (2019) teen Augustus se kant 11 jaar oud. Om dit te celebrate het ons besluit om alfabeties met die lys af te gaan en ‘n paar topics uit die boek te kies om weekliks hier op Watkykjy te publish, seinde dat ons die regte besit. Dis lekker kort stukkies wat jy op die kakhuis kan lees. Dink daaraan as jou klein zef kakhuisbybeltjie met pitkos vir elke dag… Wel, elke dag tot ons die boek se einde bereik.

Taxi’s
Taxi’s moenie met minibusse verwar word nie. Taxi’s word in die vure van Mordor deur bose mense aanmekaar gesweis van swak deurdagte skietgebedjies, geroeste skrootmetaal en slegte, slegte maniere. Inderdaad ‘n nare besigheid.

Anders as met minibusse kan daar maklik 34 mense in ‘n taxi pas. Nes geblikte oesters, waarvan ek al meer as 30 in ‘n blikkie getel het. (Sardiedtjieblikkies, daarenteen, hou enigiets tussen vier en agt sardientjies, wat daardie vergelyking met taxi’s ongeldig maak.)
Brieke word dikwels deur ‘n laag karton gevorm. Maar om te stop is opsioneel, so dis gewoonlik nie té veel van ‘n probleem nie.
Stuurvermoë is ook nie noodsaaklik nie. Solank die “voertuig” in die algemene rigting van die bestemming met ‘n bobbejaanspanner of wat ook al geseil kan word, is die saak reg.
In ‘n desperate poging om die arme passasiers te beskerm, word die mobiele massagrafte deesdae volgens wet verplig om ‘n maksimum spoed van 100 kilometer ‘n uur te handhaaf. Hoe hulle geforseer word om dit na te kom is ‘n raaisel groter as Area 51 in Amerika.
Taxibestuurders is klaarblyklik bo normale padgebruikers verhef (polisie en regeringsamptenare ingesluit) en mag ry net waar de fok hulle wil – op, oor of langs normale paaie. Geel bane op enige pad is nie vir noodvoertuie bestem nie, dis vir taxi’s.
Nou weet jy.
Omdat alle bane aan hulle behoort is dit partykeer moeilik om te onderskei watter baan aan watter taxi behoort. Maar dit word duideliker as die bestuurders op mekaar begin skiet, soos wat die gebruik is. Die ou wat skiet is normaalweg die eienaar van die pad.
Dit stem direk ooreen met die geheime afgesproke Gauteng laerskoolreël wat van toepassing is op poepe, naamlik “eerste geruik, het die gaatjie gebruik”.

Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Al Tos is in 2008 geskryf en uitgegee en daar was so baie copies verkoop dat ons dit in 2009 laat herdruk het. All-in-all is daar nog net so 10 onverkoopte copies oor op aarde en ons sal teen Augustus se kant besluit wat om met hulle te maak. Kort antwoord – dis nie tans te koop nie.

Hierdie post is 128 keer in totaal gelees en 1 keer vandag gelees.

Watkykjy staan op 159,211 post views in totaal sedert 1 November, 2019.

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griffin en Chopper CharlieTaxi’s – Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos?
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What are you doing on Reconciliation Day? (in Pretoria)

In Snotstories deur griffinRek jou bek

Our top 10 weekly selection of DSTV Now | Showmax | YouTube | Netflix | Amazon Prime

The year is over! How the fuck did this happen? We blinked and just like that, it is the end of another decade. For some reason, the first half of December feels like it was lit up like a fart. Click! Rrrrrt! Poof! Done. Ja, I know today is only Friday the 13th, but Monday is the 16th, it is Reconciliation Day and I didn’t even realise that we were at the start of the last long weekend for 2019 because for some reason, in stead of winding down, I got kak busy with work and everything went past me and over my head. And in stead of trying to make a long weekend out of a long weekend like one should, I booked myself some work for the entire Saturday. Maar tyd is fokken geld, so I will suck it up and maar create a long weekend for myself somewhere in January or February and have a jol and go do my own thing while everybody else grafts. At least I still have Monday after I cheated myself out of a long weekend.
#FML

I’m going to be selfish and just bounce a few ideas around for things to do in and around Pretoria, so I can revisit my own list. Feel feel to drop some ideas of your own:

Brooklyn Theater 
I have never ever been there and thought it might be a good idea. I headed over to their website and they literally only have two harpist concerts, so fuck that noise. You know what is next to Brooklyn Theater? Capital Craft. I’ll pop in for a lekker meal and a few cold ones sometimes over the weekend, no matter what weather we have.

Fokof Bar
Note that the guys will close their doors on the 22nd of December and only open again on the 10th of January, so get in there if you wanna grab a burger or a beer. Weather also doesn’t affect this choice.

The Climbing Barn
This place is out on the Moloto Road, north of Pretoria. I wonder if you need a passport and a Ford Ranger. Note to self – you can go do this after 10am on Monday, preferably without a hangover. I wish someone would redo their website as it is dog shit…

Groenkloof Nature reserve
Fok, I’ve been meaning to do this since like 143 years ago and never go around to it. You can even hire mountain bikes. The weather might fuck around for this one.

Jarr Bar
Brixton Moord & Roof has a massive reunion gig there this Saturday evening, so pop in for a bite and a beer. Their drummer is here from Canada, so this is a limited gig. Oh, and you know what is close to Jarr Bar? The Pretoria Botanical Gardens – that’s always a jol. Well, not really a jol. It is nature and fokken chilled out, is what I mean.

Thrifting
I have probably overdone it in 2019, but it is one of my favourite hobbies – scavenging for books, magazines, vinyl records, furniture, toys and whatever other weird stuff I can lay my hands on. The top 3 places to visit in Pretoria are Sungardens Hospice, Centurion Hospice and Irene Homes (the latter seems to be one of the best kept secrets)

Go see a movie
Take the kids to go see Dora and the Lost City of Gold, the new Jumanji or the new Frozen movie. There’s a new Star Wars movie, Ford v Ferrari and of course Joker (I’m going to check out the last three on my list).

Stay at home and be a potato
Don’t hate. Potate.

Head over to
the Plumlist if you want to potate. Check out more pickings from where we harvest our weekly top 10. See it as our little veg garden, full of potatoes:
#10 Welcome to the Arendsvlei community
If you have even a fleeting interest in local TV shows, you’ll have heard of the Afrikaans telenovela Arendsvlei, about a high school at the heart of a community that’s fallen on hard, challenging times
On DStv Now & Showmax
(read more)
 #9 Forest Whitaker on his experience of playing the real-life Godfather of Harlem
Godfather of Harlem is based on the infamous real-life crime boss, Bumpy Johnson, who returns from 11 years in prison to find the neighbourhood he once ruled in shambles.
 On Showmax
(read more)
#8 Peaky Blinders Season 5 gets political
The long-awaited fifth season of the British crime drama Peaky Blinders, now on DStv Now, opens in 1929 with the financial crash that crippled the world – the Shelby family included.
 On DStv Now
(read more)
 #7 Is Rick and Morty Season 4 on Netflix?
Fans have been waiting years for Rick and Morty Season 4, and it’s finally here. But it’s not on Netflix – it’s only on Showmax in South Africa. Brand-new episodes hit the platform every Monday, straight from the USA.
On Showmax
(read more)
 #6 Fifteen kids’ shows to stream right now
Over weekends and holidays you need reinforcements, extra ammo in your keeping-the-kids-entertained arsenal. These shows and movies on Showmax and Netflix are here for you
On Netflix & Shommax
(read more)
 #5 No more 30-day free trial for Netflix
With Netflix’s subscriber numbers seemingly at a plateau, the streaming giant is making moves to keep its shareholders happy while it fights off competition in an increasingly fragmented market. This includes cracking down on password-sharing and reducing its catalogue of movies and series.
On Netflix
(read more)
 4#Napoleon Dynamite and more movies with epic dance scenes
We’re square in the middle of Matric Dance season here in South Africa, when teens across the country will be slow-dancing in school halls to whatever the 2019 equivalent of Goo Goo Dolls’ Iris is (we’re revealing our age here, aren’t we?).
 On Showmax
(read more)
 #3 Streaming in the US vs SA
Acouple of months ago I moved from Johannesburg to New York City, just in time for the weather to turn cool, and the lure of the couch – ahem, sorry, I mean the sofa – and streaming services to get very strong indeed.
All platforms
(read more)
 #2 Stream these 2020 Golden Globe nominees on internet TV
The 2020 Golden Globe nominees were announced on 9 December 2019. Streaming services are leading the pack in number of nominations, even in the motion picture categories.
 On Amazon Prime, Showmax, Netflix
(read more)
 #1 Craig Wilson’s top comedy picks of the year
Here are 13 of the most bleakly funny and/or straight-up laugh-out-loud hysterical series that debuted or launched new seasons in 2019, all available on Netflix, Showmax and Prime Video in South Africa.
On Amazon Prime, Showmax, Netflix
(read more)

Our randomized trailer pick of the week

Each week we take a number from 1 to 10 from our list of suggestions and put it through a randomizer to choose a trailer to show you. This week it landed on our number 7 spot, Rick & Morty!

After having been missing for nearly 20 years, Rick Sanchez suddenly arrives at daughter Beth’s doorstep to move in with her and her family. Although Beth welcomes Rick into her home, her husband, Jerry, isn’t as happy about the family reunion. Jerry is concerned about Rick, a sociopathic scientist, using the garage as his personal laboratory. In the lab, Rick works on a number of sci-fi gadgets, some of which could be considered dangerous. But that’s not all Rick does that concerns Jerry. He also goes on adventures across the universe that often involve his grandchildren, Morty and Summer:

Hierdie post is 82 keer in totaal gelees en 1 keer vandag gelees.

Watkykjy staan op 159,211 post views in totaal sedert 1 November, 2019.

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griffinWhat are you doing on Reconciliation Day? (in Pretoria)
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Suid-Afrikaanse toeriste – Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos?

In Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Alles Tos? deur griffin en Chopper CharlieRek jou bek

Ons (griffin & chopper) se boek, Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos? word hierdie jaar (2019) teen Augustus se kant 11 jaar oud. Om dit te celebrate het ons besluit om alfabeties met die lys af te gaan en ‘n paar topics uit die boek te kies om weekliks hier op Watkykjy te publish, seinde dat ons die regte besit. Dis lekker kort stukkies wat jy op die kakhuis kan lees. Dink daaraan as jou klein zef kakhuisbybeltjie met pitkos vir elke dag… Wel, elke dag tot ons die boek se einde bereik.

Suid-Afrikaanse toeriste
Ek het my eerste gly gevang in hierdie spesie op ‘n skooltoer na Namibië. ‘n Outjie in my klas het pappa se duur kamera ingepak en alles wat hy afgeneem het (en dit was omtrent alles) se groottes met muntstukke en vuurhoutjies aangedui.
Hierdie kinders het ouers. Ouers wat kinders met vakansie neem en hulle irriterende gewoontes aanleer soos hoe om bokke verkeerd en beterweterig aan hulle mis of ballas uit te ken. Ouers wat kindertjies op die strand laat nommer twee waar vakansiegangers probeer ontspan. Die poefies word dan seker verbrons om langs Boeta se eerste paar skoene op die kaggel te staan onder die gemonteerde koedoekop wat tydens die vorige winter se bosveldvakansie eers gekwes en toe doodgeskiet is.
Die ergste is om hierdie mede-burgers oorsee raak te loop. Daar is jy nou, in ‘n vreemde land, ten volle oorgehaal om ‘n nuwe kultuur te beleef, die ryk geskiedenis te ontdek, die onbekende te verken.
“Steek jou vir ‘n dop, bokkie!”
Jou kop ruk verward om – jy kan nie glo wat jy hoor nie. En dis nie ‘n welkome verrassing nie. Meer soos daai vereassing  as jy gedroom het jy swem die hele aand en dan word jy wakker met jou bene wat jeuk van jou eie pie.
Die beste wat jy kan doen is om jouself uit die voete te maak. Want as jou mede-Suid_afrikaners agterkom jy’s ook van hier af is jy kniediep in die kak. Daai beroemde gasvryheid (met apologie aan die xenofobie-slagoffers) beteken jy moet eers saamgesels oor waar jy vandaan is, hoe sleg dit in Suid-Afrika gaan en hoe die regering nie weet wat hulle doen nie. Terwyl beide partye ryk genoeg is om oorsee te toer.
Jy kan selfs vir ‘n bier genooi word, veral deur die tipe wat Bok-truie soos ‘n uniform dra, sodat jy na meer van dieselfde geklaery kan luister – heel moontlik met rassistiese ondertone en vele rondtes bier.
Voorspoedige reis!

Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Al Tos is in 2008 geskryf en uitgegee en daar was so baie copies verkoop dat ons dit in 2009 laat herdruk het. All-in-all is daar nog net so 10 onverkoopte copies oor op aarde en ons sal teen Augustus se kant besluit wat om met hulle te maak. Kort antwoord – dis nie tans te koop nie.

Hierdie post is 258 keer in totaal gelees en 1 keer vandag gelees.

Watkykjy staan op 159,211 post views in totaal sedert 1 November, 2019.

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griffin en Chopper CharlieSuid-Afrikaanse toeriste – Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos?