Hannah Stocking het net oor die vyf-en-‘n-half-miljoen subscribers op YouTube. Sy het haar “career” op Vine begin deur klein videos te post en het op Blink-182 se music video van “She’s Out Of Her Mind” beland. Sy het ook E! News gehelp om die 2017 Grammy Awards te cover. Stocking het befokte video sponsorships van groot companies soos Google Pixel en FIFA ge-score. En dit alles vermag deur ‘n persoon wat veronderstel is om ‘n science nerd te wees. Sy is fokken snaaks ook! Gaan check gerus haar YouTube channel uit:
Ons (griffin & chopper) se boek, Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos? word hierdie jaar (2019) teen Augustus se kant 11 jaar oud. Om dit te celebrate het ons besluit om alfabeties met die lys af te gaan en ‘n paar topics uit die boek te kies om weekliks hier op Watkykjy te publish, seinde dat ons die regte besit. Dis lekker kort stukkies wat jy op die kakhuis kan lees. Dink daaraan as jou klein zef kakhuisbybeltjie met pitkos vir elke dag… Wel, elke dag tot ons die boek se einde bereik.
Maaggriep (spuities) Die spuities weet nie van verloor af nie. Jy kry die spuities ook nie van die vloer af nie. Aijaijai, maagwerkings kan enige ou op sy knieë bring. Daar is nooit waarskuwings of tell-tale tekens vir gietergat nie. Hy kom in vir jou soos ‘n Joggie Jansen-tackle en hy sit vir jou hard neer.
Maaggriep is loshande die kakste verskoning (pardon the pun) vir mense om werk te bunk. Dis ook ‘n siekte wat nie ‘n doktersbrief verlang nie. “Dis seker die vis wat ek gisteraand geëet het.”
ja, dit is seker. Vis. Dis ‘n goeie een.
Bonuspunte natuurlik wanneer hierdie onaangenaamdheid jou by die werk tref, jy die laaste persoon is wat daardie dag die toilet gebruik en die munisipaliteit toevallig besluit om die hele buurt se water af te sny. Jy kom dit eers agter wanneer jy die toilet spoel en daardie waterlose “kloenk”-geluid soos ‘n mes in jou reggraat steek.
Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Al Tos is in 2008 geskryf en uitgegee en daar was so baie copies verkoop dat ons dit in 2009 laat herdruk het. All-in-all is daar nog net so 10 onverkoopte copies oor op aarde en ons sal teen Augustus se kant besluit wat om met hulle te maak. Kort antwoord – dis nie tans te koop nie.
Our top 10 weekly selection of DSTV Now | Showmax | YouTube | Netflix | Amazon Prime
Guys we need to talk about *Momo for a bit. Momo is fokken real. I bumped into her at the Spar on Thursday and she is living the big life. She drives the new shape BMW X3 and it is fully loaded. Her house in Waterkloof Ridge is the envy of the entire block. She obviously makes a shitload of money because not only is her car fully loaded, but so are her new tits. Her hair also looks fab. She exudes wealth.
I asked her where all the money comes from and her answer shocked me:
Afrikaans stay-at-home moms who are on Facebook 24/7 and Afrikaans tannies with lots of free time in general: Momo explained to me that she trawls Facebook for Afrikaans tannies who believe in this type of kak, but that she pays special attention to people who don’t know how to spell so lekker and people who’s Facebook profiles are less secure than a cheap luggage lock. Those profiles what are more open for everyone to see than a whore’s legs.
“I work on the belief that ‘a fool and his money are soon parted.’ Those are the type of people you can fool the easiest”, she told me. “So I sell them this super bullshit diet coffees, you know? The ones that people believe makes you lose 2kg after a week by drinking a cup a day for a week.”
Apparently she has a lot of return customers as well, even tough they never lose the weight:
“They just keep on buying it, because even if it doesn’t work, their belief that it does, trumps all else. They almost always without fail tell me: ‘Ag, you never know, hey? Rather on the safe side'”
*Momo is an alias to protect the real identity of Momo
Now… can we focus on some real shit to keep ourselves busy with, please? Like fokken TV? Look no further, because here is our top 10 choice of what to stream in Soutrh Africa this coming week and weekend, straight from The Plumlist.
10# Where to stream the 2019 SAFTA winners
Multichoice was the big winner at the 2019 South African Film and Television Awards, taking home 48 trophies from more than 150 SAFTA nominations. And special mention goes to our friend, Hannes Brummer won Best Actor for his role as Benny Botha in Elke Skewe Pot produced by kykNET. We will get him in for an interview. Hope his head still fits through the door.
#9 Remember that crazy Netflix series, The OA? It’s back. I need to remember to watch this again: A blind girl wakes up and she can see again. People are kidnapped and locked in glass rooms. Scientific experiments in the basement. Intricate, body-bending dance moves called the Five Movements, that, if executed properly, let you leap through space and time.
#8 The best true-crime series to stream in South Africa Plumbing the depths of true-crime programming across streaming platforms – and it really is a deep, dark well of depravity that leaves you with the urge to take a long hot shower – reveals tales of murder, kidnapping, sexual misconduct, horror and stories ripped from headlines around the world.
#7 The Kids are Alright I just love period shows that make me wish I was born in that time in place. Head back to the 1970s in this comedy about an Irish-Catholic family from a working class neighbourhood near Los Angeles. With eight kids and one bathroom, there’s bound to be a whole lot of chaos. Stream from the beginning on DStv Now.
#6 Will & Grace S9 (2017) I was today old when I found out that they’ve made a brand new series! After more than a decade, not much has changed (and we’re thankful for it). Will and Grace are living under the same roof, Karen is the worst employee ever and Jack’s still looking for love in all the wrong places.
#5 Six reasons we’re binge-watching Ray Donovan
You would think after five seasons of bare-knuckle boxing, family feuds, alcoholism, infidelity, coming to terms with childhood sexual abuse at the hands of a priest, and losing his childhood sweetheart Abby to cancer, Ray Donovan would have nothing more to show us (and to shock us with).
#4 Mike Judge Presents: Tales from the Tour Bus I’ve been waiting for this series to hit Showmax for a long, long time! The legends of iconic musicians such as Johnny Paycheck and Jerry Lee Lewis are recreated in this animated biographical series narrated by Mike Judge. It includes anecdotes shared by the people who were closest to the stars.
#3 Netflix’s Shadow: a sneak peek Whaaaattt??? A South African seriers made it to Netflix? Wow! Here’s what we learned at the pre-screening of the first South African series to become a Netflix Original. This would have been in our number one spot, if it weren’t for Big Lebowski and Game of Thrones. I mean, come on…
#2 The Big Lebowski (1998) This cult classic directed by the Coen Brothers stars Jeff Bridges as The Dude, whose life is turned upside down after some goons pee on his rug. Maybe start off with this one tonight if you don’t have anything planned? Get your bath robe and your White Russians ready.
#1.Game of Thrones is coming to Showmax in Africa! The world is waiting in anticipation for every new image, video, teaser and scoop on the latest season of HBO’s Game of Thrones. And we’ve got good news: we have the brand-new, smoking hot trailer plus we can officially share the news that Game of Thrones S8 will be available for Showmax subscribers in Africa!
Each week we take a number from 1 to 10 from our list of suggestions and put it through a randomizer to choose a trailer to show you. Game of Thrones came up each time!
You can’t say that the choice surprised you at all, though. The trailer was uploaded two days ago and it is already sitting on almost 35 million views! 34,829,016 views to be exact, of which 16 are mine. It is just that much of an excitement!
CAN’T. FUCKING. WAIT!
griffinAg ja, but you never know, hey? Momo could be real.