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Dan Roodt – Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos?

In Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Alles Tos? deur griffin en Chopper CharlieRek jou bek

Ons (griffin & chopper) se boek, Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos? word hierdie jaar (2019) teen Augustus se kant 11 jaar oud. Om dit te celebrate het ons besluit om alfabeties met die lys af te gaan en ‘n paar topics uit die boek te kies om weekliks hier op Watkykjy te publish, seinde dat ons die regte besit. Dis lekker kort stukkies wat jy op die kakhuis kan lees. Dink daaraan as jou klein zef kakhuisbybeltjie met pitkos vir elke dag… Wel, elke dag tot ons die boek se einde bereik.

Dan Roodt
Dan Roodt is een van daai Afrikaners wat deur gebroke akademiese redenering ‘n naam probeer maak as beskermer van die Afrikaanse taal en kultuur. ‘n Rol wat hy heeltemal vir homself toegeëien het, dalk een Kersfees toe sy Kerskous besonder skraal was.
Want, en hiervan is ek seker, ou Dan het liefde nodig. Sommer baie.
Op sy kwasi-intellektuele website, PRAAG, het dowwe Dan dit oor ‘n hele spul “taboe” vraagstukke. Een van die artikels vra byvoorbeeld of “Suid-Afrika ooit weer ‘n Afrikanerstaat kan word”. Nou enigiemand met ‘n greintjie verstand sal hierdie onmiddelik herken as ‘n tos vraag en nie ‘n taboe-vraag nie. Tos vraag.  Dan. Tos vraag.
Sy oplossing is egter die clincher. Dan het sulke kleurvolle oplossings, soos om al die Tswanas in Suid-Afrika na Botswana toe te sluif, sodat daar meer plek is. In ruil betaal ons die Tswanas so paar sent om te waai. Bwhaaaa-hahahaha… om weer die land oor te neem – ten koste van die “swartes”. Jy weet, hulle is bietjie meer as ons en was eerste hier en die land behoort aan hulle en so aan. Klein struikelblokkies, maar hy sien wel lig aan die einde van die tonnel.
Ons eie Boere-filosoof gaan dan sover – kry gou asem terug na lagbui – om Antarktika as nuwe tuisland te oorweeg, maar keur dit dan weer af: Eerstens oor die wêreld ooreengekom het om dit as navorsingstasie te deel. Tweedens omdat dit snerpend koud en nogal onleefbaar is. Wham! Hoe’s dit vir ‘n argument?
Bly seker Afrikaners (rock spiders) regtig onder klippe? Wat de fok maak mens met sulke mense?
Wel, dis maklik. jy vra hulle om Antarktika toe te trek en jy betaal hulle ‘n paar sente. Daar is mos donners baie plek. Net soos in Botswana.
En die beste van alles? Dis heeltemal wit daar.

Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Al Tos is in 2008 geskryf en uitgegee en daar was so baie copies verkoop dat ons dit in 2009 laat herdruk het. All-in-all is daar nog net so 10 onverkoopte copies oor op aarde en ons sal teen Augustus se kant besluit wat om met hulle te maak. Kort antwoord – dis nie tans te koop nie.


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griffin en Chopper CharlieDan Roodt – Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos?
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Dis naweek, kom ons fokken duik!

In Dis naweek kom ons fokken duik! deur griffinRek jou bek

Onthou om jou Vrydag so groot te maak dat jy hom Maandag hoërskool toe moet stuur.

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griffinDis naweek, kom ons fokken duik!
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Fok participation badges! We can’t all be winners.

In Movies en TV deur griffinRek jou bek

Our top 10 weekly selection of DSTV Now | Showmax | YouTube | Netflix | Amazon Prime

Back in the days of low flying Pterodactyls, at the tender age of ten, I participated at the South African junior tennis championships in Johannesburg. It was a grueling, exhausting week of intense tennis, but at the same time one of the most memorable and rewarding sporting events of my life. I felt like a champ, because the organisers and especially the sponsors made sure that each kid felt  like a professional athlete – we received brand new cotton socks, shirts, a packet of strings, water bottles, sweat bands, as well as those all too familiar orange sachets of isotonic powder sports sachets. Is Game even still around? I ended up ranking number 173 in South Africa and I have nothing to show for it, because “What fokken participation award? We gave you free shit! Get the fuck outta here! Damn kids…”
Participating at such an event was the reward itself, plus did I really want to find out that there were only 200 kids in total? I seriously don’t know the answer but to me it felt like there were thousands of kids and I’m sticking to that belief. Because it puts me in the top of the 5 tiers, medal or no medal. Thanks, denial! I owe you a beer! 

More or less three years ago a section of our group of friends (the cool section, hey?) decided that we were going to give old people’s marbles a go in order to stay out of trouble over that December, ie not getting fucked up drunk every day. We thought we were shit hot because not even a month after that, myself, my wife and another friend found ourselves competing in a friendly bowls triplets competition at the Bowls SA headquarters in Pretoria. We thought we were ready. How hard can the sport of lawn bowls possibly be? You don’t need the full match report because we got our asses handed to us  by people who were on average 150 years older than us. They also generally seemed around 15 years fitter than us. Out of 40 teams who participated, we came 38th. Or as scientists would call it – third fokken worst ever.

La-Hoooooo-Za-Her!!

Now, we paid a lot of money to enter this old people competition (R300 each) and it included a lunch and prizes. The lunch was delicious and I was quite happy with the six defective tumbler glasses I “won” (because in effect I paid for it) but my spirits got dampened very quickly when every single person (all 120 of us) received a fokken participation medal to hang around our necks. Jissis.     

Medals and trophies used to be awarded to winners only but have recently been reduced to little more than party tricks – a symbolic pat on the back which you can put on the mantelpiece above the fireplace or get to hang around your neck to remind you of an experience rather than  a token of true achievement. Take a selfie and put it on Facebook, for fuck’s sake! It has the same effect. Not everybody gets to drive a fancy car, because if would diminish in value. The same goes for rewards and awards – when they are handed out like free t-shirts at a political rally, the truly exceptional participants and players are slighted and fucked with. 

Imagine Hollywood applied this madness to the Oscars and the Emmy Awards?
“Hey there, pretty person from Lydenburg, South Africa. Here is an Emmy for you!”

OK, sorry, that was a terribly kak example, because Elizabeth Steinberg (originally from Lydenburg) did in fact win an Emmy – for graphic design and art direction at the end of 2015 for her work in a documentary for National Geographic entitled Future Cat – an animation film telling a story of how big cats adapt to the changing planet. I’ve just been waiting for over four years for the right moment to #humblebrag about my cool friend’s truly deserving and exceptional achievement.
#proudlySA

Winning should just be a marker of greatness in a particular moment, because the opportunity is there for the next person or group to work for and to seize that moment. Yes, sometimes the same group or person wins it over and over again. Think of Michael Schumacher. Or Game of Thrones. Or Michael Schumager starring in Game Of Thrones as the oke who rides the dragons fucked up fast.

Winning is a transient state, a short-lived burst of energy of sorts. The same goes for being nominated or making the short list for a prize, medal, reward or awards. And by association, if you hang out in the winner’s camp and support them or are in some way instrumental  in reaching their goals, it makes you a winner in their books as well. Like the South African streaming services who buy into all the befokte cool stuff we get to watch locally. Here are some of the shows who walked away with the 2019 Emmy nominees and wins:

Multiple awards and nominations:
Game of Thrones (Showmax) walked away with 14 nominations and 2 wins
Barry (Showmax) was nominated 9 times.
Escape at Dannemora (Showmax) got 7 nods of the head.
Chernobyl (Showmax) got nominated 6 times and took home 3 golden ladies.
Better Call Saul (DStv) and Veep (Showmax) each raked in 5 nominations
A Very English Scandal (Showmax) was nominated 4 times.
Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (DStv), The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (DStv), Sharp Objects (Showmax) and Succession (Showmax) each had 3 nominations while Hand Maid’s Tale (Showmax) received 2 nominations.

These shows got a hat tip each:
The Daily Show with Trevor Noah (DStv)
The Late Late Show with James Corden (DStv)
The Amazing Race (DStv)
dstv- The Voice (DStv with a reminder the SA version on Showmax)
True Detective (Showmax)

Head over to
the Plumlist for our top 10 pick of the week. See what you can stream in South Africa and go pick your winners.
#10 Six series you’ve never seen on Netflix and other services
Think you’ve seen absolutely everything on internet TV? Take your pick from these newly released top titles for your weekend binge-watch.
On Netflix
(read more)
 #9 Ramy: 2019’s watershed show (and Yaaseen Barnes approved!)
There’s Friday prayers and there’s Friday night, and I’m at both!” Ramy says, exasperated. A dazed and confused twenty-something, he’s having a hard time finding himself, caught between his culture and the modern world.
 On Showmax 
(read more)
#8 Life after dark in SAFTA-winning documentary Six to Six
Night after night, Taariq, Lungi and Pierre wait for people to die. They aren’t ghouls. They are three of the forensic pathology officers at one of Cape Town’s busiest morgues – Salt River Mortuary.
 On Showmax
(read more)
 #7 See the trailer for Netflix’s El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie
Fans will remember that in the final episode of Breaking Bad, Jesse Pinkman escaped his enslavement in one of his captors’ cars – an El Camino. The upcoming movie will tell us where it took him.
On Netflix
(read more)
 #6 Netflix plans a return trip to Hawkins (or does it?)
Netflix has renewed the worldwide hit series Stranger Things for a fourth season and signed series creators and showrunners The Duffer Brothers to a multi-year film and series overall deal.
On Netflix
(read more)
 #5 Five Ryan Murphy shows to binge-watch
He’s a six-time Emmy winner and won a Tony Award for The Boys in the Band, which he’s adapting into a film to be released next year (starring Andrew Rannells of Girls and Jim Parsons of The Big Bang Theory).
On Netflix
(read more)
 #4 Watch the teaser for The Irishman, the new Scorsese on Netflix
Cinephiles are in ecstacy after the teaser for the new Martin Scorsese came out, featuring “wise guy” trio Robert De Niro, Al Pacino and Joe Pesci. Truly Netflix, you have ensembled the most ganster ensemble of all time. The Irishman is about organised crime in post-war America.
 On Netflix 
(read more)
 #3 Modern Family Season 10
There have been all sorts of rumours about TV’s favourite blended family, but only two can be confirmed at this time: Season 10 is the final season. And a “significant” character is going to die.
On DStv Now
(read more)
 #2 Orange is the New Black final season
The seventh and last season of the Emmy-winning comedy-drama opens with an episode called The Beginning of the End, and after six years, it will come to an end with its 13th episode called Here’s Where We Get Off.
 On DStv Now
(read more)
 #1 Sons of Anarchy – all seasons!
Sons of Anarchy ran from 2008 to 2014 and can now be streamed from season 1 to 7 on Showmax. It’s gritty, graphically violent, intense, addictive… but most of all, it’s a story about family.
On Showmax
(read more)

Our randomized trailer pick of the week

Each week we take a number from 1 to 10 from our list of suggestions and put it through a randomizer to choose a trailer to show you. This week it landed on our number 7 spot, El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie:

Picking up moments after the series finale of Breaking Bad ends, Aaron Paul is back as Jesse Pinkman in El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie, directed by Vince Gilligan, on Netflix October 11.

I. CAN’T. FUCKING. WAIT!!!!

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griffinFok participation badges! We can’t all be winners.
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Het jy regtig ‘n idee van hoe rugbybefok Suid-Afrika eintlik is?

In Sport deur griffinRek jou bek

Fokkit, peeps, ek dink die meerderheid van ons is bewus daarvan dat Suid-Afrika nogal behep is met die eiervormige sokkerbal. Van ons is dalk groter fans as ander, maar oor die algemeen is daar nogal ‘n gesonde geesdrif en energie in ons ondersteuning van die manne in groen en goud. In my soektog na my usual entertainment  en my naweeklysie wat ek opstel in my beplanning vir my online streaming, het ek aanvanklik op heeltmal ander temas besluit. Wat is die usual stuff? Check, soms is ‘n mens lus vir diep flieks, soms is dit skop-skiet-en-donner tyd en ander kere dim jy die ligte in die sitkamer vir ‘n chick-flick saam met jou goose op die coouch en ‘n moontlike broeknaaibonus as jy jou kaarte regspeel met liefie. Nie dat ek ‘n broeknaai bat nie, maar vir hierdie naweek se interwb TV,  het ek daaraan gedink om te gaan soek vir breindood man-stuff met temas soos karre, bikes, tiete en balle.

Omdat die Rugby World Cup in Japan tans volle swang is, het ek besluit om sommer eerste op Showmax te gaan soek vir rugbyverwante programme. Goeie fok, toe bliskem ek in die diepste rugby rabbit hole af op aarde. Fok my, ek het nie geweet dat Suid-Afrika so kakbaie TV shows het wat 100% op rugby gefokus is nie. Check dit uit, ek het dit in boksies gaan pak vir jou:

Team profiles en rugby geskiedenis
Springbok Season Review 2017
SuperSport analysts Nick Mallett en Owen Nkumane review die 2017 Springbok season. Kyk, dis reeds fokken ou nuus, maar dit sal interessant wees om die bokspan te vergelyk met waar ons deesdae staan – wat in die middel van nog ‘n world cup is.

Springbok Saga
Die Springbok Saga kyk terug na die geskiedenis van die Springbokspan. Deur al die beproewings en verdrukkings het die Springbok nog altyd ‘n plekkie in die harte van ons Suid-Afrikaners gehad. Al was dit soms die donker plekkie in ons harte wat effens soos poep ruik.

War with the Roses
Die Bokke en die Souties haat mekaar nou al vir langer as 100 jaar lank. Dis fokken oorlog, pappie!

SA Rugby Legends
‘n Kykie na die groot geeste van ruggas met interviews en indipte gesprekke oor hierdie legends.

Imvuselelo: The Awakening
‘n Oorsig van die historiese rugbyreeks tussen die Bokke en Engeland. Die twee spanne het nog ‘n opwindende hoofstuk tot hul geskiedkundige wedywering toegevoeg, terwyl hulle begin fine tune het vir die Rugbywêreldbeker in 2019. Siya Kolisi het ook geskiedenis gemaak toe hy as die Bokke se eerste swart kaptein aangewys is.
#poesgroothigh5
Rugbyprogramme wat spelers profile

Catch Me If You Can – Bryan Habana
“Haaaah, aaahm Braahn Habannaaah!”
Jokes aside, wat ‘n fokken speler! Die program cover die verhaal van Bryan Gary Habana, een van die suksesvolste rugbyspelers van sy generasie, deur die oë van voormalige spanmaats en die man homself natuurlik.
#HaaaahAaahmBraahnHabannaaah

In Conversation: Gareth Edwards
Gareth Edwards word beskou as een van die grootste spelers ooit om die Walliese asook Lion truie oor sy kop te trek. Hy het ook die grootste drie gedruk wat die Barbarians teen die All Blacks in 1973 ooit gesien het. Check hierdie absolute unbelievable shit uit.
Fokken verwoesting:

James Small Tribute
Hierdie cover spesiale oomblikke ter nagedagtenis aan James Small. Kyk, hierdie ou was nogal ‘n bliksem. Om dit baie eufemisties te stel: James Small was ‘n kleurryke, passievolle karakter wat dikwels verkeerd verstaan was. Nietemin het hy soveel mense geïnspireer oor die jare. Kom ons fokus op die blommetjies, right?

In Conversation: Joost van der Westhuizen
Nog ‘n legend uit die 1995 rugbystal. Kobus Wiese, ‘n jarelange vriend en spanmaat, voer ‘n onderhoud met die rugbylegende, Joost van der Westhuizen in een van sy laaste openbare optredes voor sy dood vroeg in 2017. Jy kan hierdie een dalk hoër op jou kyklysie skuif en ‘n tissue uitruk.

The Road Less Travelled
Die Springbokke vertel hul unieke verhale van hul oorwinning oor teenspoed en oorkom elke hindernis in hul pad op pad na die heilige Groen en Goud. Hierdie is lekker one-on-one vibes, so jy kan sommer jou favourite spelers gaan shortlist, aangesien daar ‘n episode aan elke speler toegewy word. Dis nogal ‘n nice touch om die spelers een vir een aan die fans bekend te stel. Daar kan meer gecover word en ek kan net dink dat dit baie waardevol vir speler self se profile en toekoms is.

Die experts en die  meer analitiese tipe programme
The Final Whistle
‘n Omvattende ontleding en uiteensetting van al die naweek se rugby, aangebied deur Xola Ntshinga en sy spesiale gaste.

SuperRugby
Kobus Wiese en al sy expert gabbas kyk na die nuutste ontwikkelings in die wêreld van rugby. Studiogaste neem deel aan besprekings en beantwoord  kykers se vrae.

Jake’s Whiteboard
Die wenners van die Rugbywêreldbeker, Jake White en Joel Stransky, ontleed die contenders vir die 2019 Rugbywêreldkampioenskap. Ek neem aan dat ‘contenders’ in hierdie konteks beteken dat hulle slegs die spanne cover wat ‘n kans staan om die beker bo die kop te lig, aangesien daar agt episodes is, elk gewy aan noemenswaardige spanne soos Nieu-Seeland, SA, Ierland, Wallis, Frankryk, Engeland, die Ozzies en die Skotte.

RWC Masterplan
Owen Nkumane bied hierdie show aan met ‘n paneel ervare afrigters. So dis die ouens met die taktiese breine wat alles mikro-analiseer en groot rugbywoorde gebruik. Jy sal veral baat vind by hierdie show as jy soos in fokken ALLES van rugby like, skeidsregters ingesluit. Dan kan jy lekker by die volgende braai staan en mansplain terwyl jy jou eiers krap, die vleis omdraai en ‘n brannas klap.
Die meer magazine tipe shows
RWC Insights
Interviews met VIP-tipe Rugby World Cup persoonlikhede om meer lig te werp op wat die regtig verg vir ‘n span om die beker huis toe vat. Hulle praat byvoorbeeld ook met die laaste bra wat die Web Ellis koppie bo die skouers gelig het – Richie McCaw.

In Touch
Hierdie is meer vir die online rugbygemeenskap en die cyber tipe rugbyliefhebber en ethusiast. Ek sou raai dat dit nou vir ouens soos jy is wat hier lees. Hulle showcase allerhande ekslusiewe interviews, medianuus en Skype vibes. Hulle cover basies alles wat weg van die veld af gebeur wat nogal ‘n lekker fresh angle is.

Elders: Japan
Erns Grundling is ‘n fokken lucky bliksem en ek haat hom. Want ek is jaoers.  Erns het Elders:Die Camino aangebied en nou is hy terug met nog ‘n reisreeks – hierdie keer is hy in Japan, jy weet, net om seker te maak dat die Bokke reg is vir die World Cup. Fokken doos. Ek hoop jy lees hier, Erns. EK HAAT JOU!

Banzai Japan
Kyk, Erns se program is actually baie fokken cool, al haat ek hom, maar Lalla Hirayama het ook ‘n program en sy explore ook Japan. En sy is about 150 keer hotter as Erns.
Dit is ‘n fokken lekker show om te kyk en Supersport was gaaf genoeg gewees om die hele eerste episode op YouTube te laai. Jy kan verlede week se episode op Showmax kyk en ek is amper seker daar kom vandag nog ‘n episode uit:

Dan as jy nou regtig faktap wil raak…
Vir julle closet cases wat maak asof jy dit glad nie fokken kyk nie – Getroud met Rugby trek nou al by 4 seisoene met oor die 260 episodes. But you already knew that, want JY is getroud met rugby, né?  Vir die van julle wat genuine nie weet waaroor dit gaan nie, dis ‘n soapie: Getroud Met Rugby fokus op die intriges, verhoudings, skandale, huwelike, seksuele verhoudings, aspirasies en rugbypolitiek agter die skerms en in die slaapkamers van rugbypaartjies.

Behalwe vir die meer as 20 programme wat op rugby gerig is, kan jy natuurlik die highlights van elke World Cup match op Showmax kyk. Dis lekker 27 minute programme waarva nal die boring in die asblik gegooi is. Dan is daar ook die Varsity 7s rugbywedstryde wat live uitgesaai word. Daar is agt games wat vandag uitgesaai word! Sluit gerus aan vir die free 14-dae trial op Showmax om in al die rugby te verdrink as jy dit nog nie gedoen het nie. Jy gaan kakbaie bier en biltong moet koop.

PS:Lalla, if you are reading this: YOU ARE 150 TIMES HOTTER THAN FOKKEN ERNS!
I are Ernstig.

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griffinHet jy regtig ‘n idee van hoe rugbybefok Suid-Afrika eintlik is?