Thirteen things lockdown in South Africa probably taught us

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We’re almost a week into level 3 of the the South African regulations of lockdown, but to be honest, it starting feeling that everything already became a bit lax more than a moth ago. People stopped giving a fuck a long time ago, as if the government was responsible for the pandemic. Yesterday the high court ruled that the measurements put in place to combat the pandemic was unlawful. Fuck knows what lies ahead, but I am going to treat the rest of the year as level 3. I will be a big mouth with hindsight as a weapon at the end of 2020. Some people just won’t get it, but a lot of us have learnt a thing or twelve about this pandemic:

  1. We saw a massive increase in baking and cooking at home. And you know what? All those people who likes saying “I can’t even boil water” is still alive. Wow, you little drama queen. Turns out you can follow 2 minute noodles instructions after all, hey?
  2. Your home should be a lot cleaner and at least a quarter  of  the stuff that needed fixing around the house, should be fixed. Don’t come with this me-time kak. You had time to fix that kak.
  3. Some of you either turned into those teachers you hated at school or became a super parent with an understanding of what your kid actually is capable of or struggling with.
  4. I don’t for one second buy the story that everyone has been secret fitness freaks all along. Kak man! You just want to exercise because you got told that you can’t. Such fokken babies.
  5. You bought less kak and you finally figured out you don’t need all that kak. I’m not saying you bought less stuff – just less kak! Like, before the lockdown you were Jim Carey in that scene in Dumb ‘n Dumber where he walk out of the gas station with a paddle board and a Big Gulp.
  6.  Do this little experiment – once we get past level 1, see if you pay more attention ti people’s faces? Do you remember what people’s faced look like? Can you describe your friend’s face to a police sketch artist?
  7.  All the douche bags revealed themselves. Firstly in real life, not adhering the the rules, walking around without masks not giving a fuck about the people around them. And secondly on Facebook. Jesus, every second person rates himself as a public figure. I know every person is entitled to an opinion, but very few opinions are of actual value. Sit the fuck down.
  8. Luckily all the nice guys also revealed themselves. There are plenty of Samaritans out there but you’ll never really hear from them, because that is part of the Samaritan job description.
  9. Everybody knows what Zoom is and every meeting could have been a Zoom call long ago. Do we really need offices? Do we really need all that traffic going to a destination that could have been home? The answer is a resounding no.  No, we didn’t and no, we don’t.
  10. People finally realized on which side of privilege they’re on. I know most don’t give a fuck, but simply begin aware is a starting point at least.
  11. People started supporting local everything a bit more. With local I mean the smaller, independent shops. However, they still need to be aware that only the a-gamers will stick around. If your product or service is kak, you’re out.
  12. You know those friends who always say “I can stop drinking whenever I want or have to” was talking horse kak. It is easy to argue the “whenever I want”-part, because they just say “I don’t want to right now”. But now they forced to stop drinking. And some of them threw monthly lower-income family levels at cheap bottles of spirits.  Sies.
  13. Still on the subject of booze – we all lied to ourselves about our home made beer. It doesn’t fucking taste fantastic. If you were waxing lyrical about your fantastic pineapple beer, why did I see you queuing at Tops like its the first democratic election from 1994?
Here is another list. Check out our top 10 list of movies and TV series picks from the Plumlist. It is one way of staying out of winter’s outdoor clutches and away from the infectious coronavirus masses:
#10 Twenty seven iconic movies to celebrate Africa Day
The borders are closed, but that doesn’t mean you can’t explore your continent this Africa Day, thanks to this starter guide to classic African films on Showmax.
On Showmax
(read more)
 #9 What we’ve come to know about Mrs Mops
Her gorgeous looks and flamboyant personality have caught the attention of many avid viewers of the reality show. With her lavish lifestyle and “money ain’t a problem” attitude, Mrs Mops will probably go down as the best-liked housewife in the reality show.
On DStv Now & Showmax
(read more)
#8 Watch: The funniest jokes on New Girl
It’s no secret that jokes in classic sitcoms tend not to age well. But these gags from one of the most perennially funny TV comedies, New Girl, never fail to make us literally laugh out loud.
 On Showmax
(read more)
 #7 Fierce, funny females
Stars like Khanyisa Bunu, Celeste Ntuli and Tumi Morake are taking South Africa by storm, both in their own comedy specials and in lead roles in some seriously humorous movies. They more than match up to international superstars like the incomparable Aussie Hannah Gadsby.
On Netflix & Showmax
(read more)
 #6 Seven Stands up to make you double over
A group of comedians is known as a gaggle or riot. Whether you’re planning on having a few gaggles yourself or preparing for a full-blown laugh riot, here’s a selection of the funniest local and international stand ups to give you that feel-good buzz.
On Netflix & Showmax
(read more)
 #5 Top 20 romantic movies of the century so far
This compilation video rounds up some of the most romantic movies of the past 20 years and we’ve found out which ones you can stream on Showmax, Amazon, Netflix and DStv Now.
On Amazon Prime & Showmax 
(read more)
 4# Thirteen lesbian shows and movies to stream
To celebrate Pride Month, we’ve curated a list of our favourite queer-women shows and movies currently streaming on Showmax and Netflix in South Africa.
 On Netflix & Showmax
(read more)
 #3 Where to watch the M-Net Sunday Night Movies in June 2020
It’s a feast of blockbusters for M-Net Premium subscribers this month. All of these will be available to stream on the DStv Now app within 24 hours of the M-Net broadcast.?
On DStv Now
(read more)
 #2 Fifteen series for fans of Grey’s Anatomy
There are many reasons Grey’s Anatomy has won our hearts, and we’ve used some of them to put together this list of similar shows that we hope will deliver the same brand of drama and joy.
 On DStv Now & Showmax
(read more)
 #1 Seventeen of the best movies about music to watch online
We all have our favourite musicians and bands, but how much do we really know about them, their history, their beliefs, their stories? Enter the music documentary, to shed light and new information about the artists we love.
On On Netflix & Showmax
(read more)

Our randomized trailer pick of the week

Each week we take a number from 1 to 10 from our list of suggestions and put it through a randomizer to choose a trailer to show you. This week it landed on our number 8 spot, Watch: The funniest jokes on New Girl” 

The show stars Zooey Deschanel as Jessica Day, a well-liked, bubbly, and adorable woman in her late 20s who is trying to get over her surprise breakup with her model boyfriend. She eventually finds a new place to stay when she moves in with three single guys: Nick, a bartender; Schmidt, a professional and modern-day casanova; and Coach, a former athlete turned trainer. Rounding out this unlikely bunch is Jessica’s street-smart model friend Cece. Together, this group of friends try to help Jessica learn a lot about love, life and mostly about herself, while at the same time learn a lot about themselves.:

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griffinThirteen things lockdown in South Africa probably taught us

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