It is only August and you already have fokken Novemberitis!

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According to Meg March, a character from Louisa May Alcott’s novel (and movie), Little Woman, “November is the most disagreeable month in the whole year”. You need to keep in mind that the Little Woman trilogy was written waaaaay back between 1868 and 1886 when the earth still had a round shape. I have recently come to learn that the earth is flat. That is more than 140 years ago, so why does that still ring true today? You need to remember that Alcott was an American novelist, so it probably had more to do with the weather in the North Eastern region of the States where she lived which probably also reflected in her work. In America they get proper nasty winters. In South Africa and especially in Gauteng, our winters aren’t nearly that kak. Take Pretoria for instance – this year our winter fell on today, coincidentally. In Joburg, I think winter was on a Wednesday and a Sunday, somewhere in June. I will just need to double check Twitter…

The kakness of November in South Africa can thus not be laid at the font door of the seasons, so it has to do with the time of the year then. By the time November rolls in, we are mentally and physically gatvol of work and everything around us. Your spirit is fokken pap and wants to kap a doss, because it is one of those few months without a public holiday and December seems so far away, although it is just around the corner. In the back of your mind you are also aware of the long money stretch that lies ahead – your salary which needs to cover the festive season, holiday, gifts and all the other forseen kak, such as just fokken living. You are already getting worked up because you are worried of leaving the house alone for a week or two. There are so much kak at play and in this tired state, you probably worry about the wrong shit as well, just o compound your anxiety. When you are as emotionally and psychically drained like this, your guard drops. It is like your soul’s immune’s system tunes you: “Listen here, doos! I’m having the shits. Get me some Imodium.”
*RRRRRTttt!*

When your guard is down, your social filter also takes a beating and it more than often results in loose tongue syndrome. Mostly on Facebook where you reckon it is “safe” to be doos. September seems to have been a fokken tough month for South Africans. We all know what’s been going and reported in the news for the past two weeks or so but the harsh reality is that all that shit has been going on for a very long time. You should not isolate the last two weeks to make a noise. It is good that people act out and come together in solidarity, but be careful not to overact and in the process assume things of your friends and others, né? Jissis, and the amount of fake news that gets amplified. Mind blown. We’ve also seen people being total poese to each other and half apologizing after the fact. The “heat of the moment” and “ja but still” or “ja but you never know” likes to be thrown around as excuses. Sit on your hands for a while, take it all in first to make sense of the bigger picture and decide how you can help (if you want to help). Because a week from now, all those people who were lashing out while a topic was hot, will go back to sharing pics of their food, cars, family, pets and travels. Hopefully less unsolicited dick picks.

Just be consistent, peeps.

It is only September now. If you are already taking shots to the proverbial balls you’re gonna keel over by the time your nose starts running from Novemberitis. And by January you will be literally dead. Literally in this case of course said in the character of an over-reacting American Instagram model…

Go relax. Put down your Facebook sword and head over to
the Plumlist. But first check out our current top 10 pick for the weekend:

#10 Where to watch the M-Net Sunday Night Movies in September 2019
You may have missed these films when they launched last year at the cinema, or you may have seen them and loved them so much you want to get another dose of the fun. Either way, they’ll all be available for you to watch whenever, wherever (well, as long as 24 hours have passed after the Sunday Night broadcast), on DStv Now in the month of September.
On DStv Now & Showmax
(read more)
 #9 Leonardo DiCaprio: “Climate change can be reversed if we act now”
The documentary, which is now on Showmax, has a 90% critics rating on Rotten Tomatoes and “should be essential viewing for anyone who plans to carry on living on the planet,” to quote Screen International.
 On Showmax
(read more)
#8 These are the powerful women on TV we want to grow up to be
Do a piece about powerful women in the workplace, they said. It will be fun, they said. Actually, no such promise was made, but “they” (the lovely Plum List editors) indicated that Younger (the complete Seasons 1-6 are now on Showmax) should be the starting point.
 On Showmax
(read more)
 #7 A whole new world in The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance
The Dark Crystal: Age Of Resistance, a new 10-episode series on Netflix, revisits the world of 1982 fantasy adventure movie The Dark Crystal (also available to stream on Netflix South Africa), which combined the ground-breaking puppeteering and animatronic expertise of the Jim Henson Company.
On Netflix
(read more)
 #6 The world ends … with a bang
The comedy series Now Apocalypse is created by Gen-X coming-of-age (with aliens) master director Greg Araki (The Doom Generation, 1995; Nowhere, 1997; and Mysterious Skin, 2004) and co-writer Karley Sciortino (Vogue.com’s sex columnist).
 On Showmax
(read more)
 #5 Orlando blooms in the gloam of Carnival Row
Since Pirates of the Caribbean and The Hobbit trilogy, Orlando Bloom has been coasting beneath the surface. He’s tried to break into the gun-wielding action hero scene with roles in forgettable movies like Unlocked and S.M.A.R.T. Chase, but nothing seems to stick.
 On Amazon Prime
(read more)
 #4 Vote Veep: Make comedy great again
It’s been seven years since we first met Selina Meyer, the selfish, bungling and ambitious vice president of the United States. In Veep’s final season, Meyer is still selfish, bungling and more ambitious than ever. Nothing is sacred.
 On Showmax
(read more)
 #3 Seven places to find Melissa McCarthy on internet TV
In The Kitchen, Melissa McCarthy, Elisabeth Moss and Tiffany Haddish play the wives of Irish gangsters. When their husbands get thrown in jail, the women take business into their own hands and learn just what it means to stay on top in the Mob.
On Netflix, Showmax & DStv Now
(read more)
 #2 Ten horror movies to stream online
Love sitting on the edge of your couch and binge-watching movies about creepy, otherworldly terrors? These are some of the scariest films now streaming in South Africa, delivering everything from blockbuster-level frights to unexpected indie twists. Thank us later – when you’ve recovered.
 On Netflix & Showmax
(read more)
 #1 Ballers blows the final whistle
My heart is full of gratitude to all of you for rockin’ with us every season. You made us HBO’s highest-rated comedy for years, and most importantly, you helped create and sustain a platform for other actors to have the opportunity to work hard, grow and become household names.
On DStv Now & Showmax
(read more)

Our randomized trailer pick of the week

Each week we take a number from 1 to 10 from our list of suggestions and put it through a randomizer to choose a trailer to show you. This week it landed on our number 7 spot, The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance:

Light the fires of resistance! Join Deet, Rian and Brea on an epic
quest to find hope in darkness, save Thra, and reveal their destiny.
Nothing will ever be the same.

A Netflix Original Series from the Jim Henson Company and visionary
director Louis Leterrier:

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griffinIt is only August and you already have fokken Novemberitis!

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