FaceApp is getting really old, real fast!

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Look, I am not your dad (although I could be one touch on a smartphone away from looking old enough to be your dad, hell even your gramps), so I am not going to tell you what to do. But like any good dad, I can give you some sage fatherly advice. And like a typical juvenile delinquent you can just ignore my advice and learn this important life lesson the hard way on your own. It is really just a low level suggestion – read. It is a very basic life skill which all of us have (you’re reading this right now), but very few people ever use. Have you recently fucked up some tech or equipment because you didn’t RTFM? (read the fucking manual). Does it take more effort to return something that you fucked up because you didn’t bother to read the user manual or assembly instructions or would reading one paragraph have save you petrol and time? You mos fokken wing alles, né? Now look at your phone. Apps. Terms and conditions. You agreed to shit that you don’t know the first thing about on every single thing that you installed. You might end up like Kyle from South Park where he is kidnapped after agreeing to an iTunes user agreement without reading it. He was forced to become part of a “revolutionary new product” that is about to be launched by Apple (season 15 episode 1):

Tell me, why are we so weird? With Instagram and all sort of filters, people try their best to smooth out their skins, make their eyes bigger, teeth whiter and ears smaller. To such an extent that people’s noses disappear as if by magic. In strolls FaceApp all like: “Hey, who of you fuckers want to look poes old and wrinkly?” and the entire interweb is like: “ME! ME! ME! ME!”
*click*
*share*
“LOL OMG!! I AM SOOOO OOOLD! I LOOK LIKE MY DAD!!!”

It is fucking depressing, man! The seemingly “can’t wait to die factor” aside – jirre people, get a grip. Just take some time and fucking read. It will also protect you from fake news and spreading fake news yourself.
Here are FaceApps own terms and conditions:

In addition to photos generated via the app, FaceApp’s privacy policy states that it also collects location information and information about users’ browsing history. “These tools collect information sent by your device or our Service, including the web pages you visit, add-ons, and other information that assists us in improving the Service” . And though it states that “we will not rent or sell your information to third parties outside FaceApp,” it explicitly says that it shares information with “third-party advertising partners,” in order to deliver targeted ads.

On the FaceApp website the company also lists all sort of praises and quotes from reliable and reputable tech websites, but when you do a tiny bit of research (or just plain reading because you are not lazy), the same sites also have some warnings. Here are actual quotes on the FaceApp site followed by more info from the same sites:

“Who said augmented reality requires donning a pair of goggles?” – TechCrunch
Also on the TechCrunch website: “Given how many screenshots people take of sensitive information like banking and whatnot, photo access is a bigger security risk than ever these days. With a scraper and optical character recognition tech you could automatically turn up a huge amount of info way beyond “photos of people. So, overall, I think it is important that we think carefully about the safeguards put in place to protect photo archives and the motives and methods of the apps we give access to.”

“The gender swapping is perhaps the most interesting feature, and often turns out some quite convincing results.” – The Verge
Also on the The Verge website: “As with the last viral moment, however, users have been surprised to learn that the app’s creators are harvesting metadata from their photos.”

“Different from the filters we know through Snapchat, FaceApp instead morphs faces by blending in facial features so that it can change a closed mouth to a toothy smile.” – Mashable
Also on the Mashable website – “You might want to think twice before you use viral selfie app FaceApp.”

“Using artificial intelligence, the app morphs faces by merging in facial features. The app uses neural networks for its transformations.” – IBT
Also on the IBT website: “with the United States presidential elections around the corner, Senate minority leader Chuck Schumer has called for the Federal Bureau of Investigations (FBI) to probe the Russian app over national security and privacy concerns.”

“Tired of all those duck-face selfies? Replace them with a toothy grin with just one tap.” – Digital Trends
Also on the Digital Trends website: “Are you concerned about how FaceApp is using your photos? If so, there’s a way to remove your data from the app — but it might take a while.”


You see what happens when you don’t read? Or when you do read, but you don’t go investigate for yourself if a piece of the puzzle might still be missing? That’s also how people get quoted out of context. Valuable info goes missing. You could for instance quote me as saying: “I used FaceApp on a recent photo Donald Trump and he looks pretty damn decent!” but you left out the important part of my sentence to fit your narrative, because what I actually said was: “I used FaceApp on a recent photo Donald Trump and he looks pretty damn decent for raisin which shat out a turd!”

Get old the proper way – in front of the fucking TV, like God intended it.
Let our Plumlist top 10 help you along for your weekend TV fix:

# 10 This teen series for adults only is jaw-droppingly explicit
Exquisitely filmed using various interesting techniques, Euphoria follows “a group of teens as they navigate drugs, sex, identity, trauma, social media, love and friendship.” Ironically, it’s for adults only, and carries an extra warning ahead of the HBO intro logo.
On Showmax
(read more)
 #9 An interview with Warrior’s Kenneth Fok
Based on an original concept by martial arts legend Bruce Lee, Warrior is set during San Francisco’s Tong Wars in the 1800s. The gritty series follows Ah Sahm, a martial arts prodigy from China who becomes mixed up in the world of organised crime.
 On DStv Now & Showmax
(read more)
#8 Where to stream (most of) the 2019 Emmy nominees in South Africa
Other than HBO titles Game of Thrones, Chernobyl and Barry, Netflix shows like When They See Us and Russian Doll, and Amazon Prime Video’s Fleabag and The Marvellous Mrs Maisel, which series scored nominations this year?
 On Netflix, Prime, DStv Now & Showmax
(read more)
 #7 Get lost in this hidden gem of a film about the misery of being a stranger
Nigeria and Norway are worlds apart in almost every conceivable way. But when young Nigerian film student Ose (Nigerian-born actor Tunde Aladese, who studied film in Berlin herself) gets the opportunity to study in Drammen, Norway, she leaps at the chance.
On Showmax
(read more)
 #6 Watch this HBO documentary before you decide about Michelle Carter’s guilt
It is impossible to watch the HBO documentary I Love You, Now Die: The Commonwealth vs Michelle Carter, streaming on Showmax, without forming an opinion regarding her guilt.
 On Showmax
(read more)
 #5 The Last Czars is like Game of Thrones, but based on real-life royals
The Last Czars on Netflix is a beautifully crafted docuseries of chronological turning points in the fall of the Romanov dynasty in Russia. The country has made world headlines after their intervention in Syria, interference in US elections and in hosting the FIFA World Cup.
 On Netflix 
(read more)
 #4 “It’s only shocking if it’s not your experience”: Zendaya on her role in Euphoria
The first five episodes of Euphoria, the most talked-about teen show of 2019, are now streaming first on Showmax in South Africa, with the last three episodes coming express from the US.
 On Showmax
(read more)
 #3 Bunnies, Easter eggs and exploding nuns: Happy! is back for Season 2
Nick Sax, everyone’s favourite ex-cop hitman, and his imaginary blue unicorn friend are back on our screens. But can the second season of this madcap show live up to the hype of the first?
On Netflix
(read more)
 #2 Could Koeberg ever go Chernobyl?
The stunning HBO miniseries Chernobyl shows how badly a nuclear reactor can break. James Francis asks: Would the same ever happen with South Africa’s Koeberg Nuclear Power Station?.
 On Showmax
(read more)
 #1 Konichi-whaaaaaat?
SA journo Erns Grundling travels to the land of sushi, cherry blossoms, bustling cities, sake, samurai and pretty soon also the 2019 Rugby World Cup in this travel series.
 On Showmax
(read more)

Our randomized trailer pick of the week

Each week we take a number from 1 to 10 from our list of suggestions and put it through a randomizer to choose a trailer to show you. This week it landed on our number 1 spot, the befokte lekker local show, Elders: Japan

Erns Grundling, who gave us Elders:Die Camino, is back with his travelogue series. This time he heads to Japan to walk pilgrimages and see if the country is ready for the Rugby World Cup.

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griffinFaceApp is getting really old, real fast!

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