Dear ANC, you are assholes!

In Snotstories deur Watkykertjie bydrae3 Eiertjies

By Marc

Look at the photos here… See the kids playground? A park. A public open space in Merafong. Looking at these photos, isn’t the first question that comes to mind, “Who’s the arselicking comrade?”

Firstly, hate to shatter your reality but communism failed, china. Haha that’s classic! It did fail, China. Just ask the several hundred million emerging middle class Chinese. Mostly because it was run by assholes like you. So can we stop calling each other “comrade” in 2016 please? Kids of any colour don’t even know what the fuck you’re talking about. And, secondly, well, capitalism fails too. It just takes longer to die but the point is no one thinks it’s a good idea to paint children’s swings in party political colours. Except Kim Jong-il or whoever the little dwarf is who runs North Korea and we all know he’s a retard. Thirdly, while kicking away broken glass, cigarette butts and condoms that were almost brittle, so long had they been lying there, do you think you could possibly give as much thought to picking this shit up as you do to the promotional sneakery you gave in painting poles that colour? The maintenance is simplistic and basically comprises mowing – god knows how often or, rather, how seldom – maar van gereelde chicken parade is daar fokol, boetie. Fokol.
anc playground merafongThe combination of broken glass beneath kids’ swings and the colour of the swings themselves just really got up my nose. It was just such a proof of misdirected functionality… No, dysfunctionality.


You took my tax money and painted some fucking poles with enamel paint in your political colours. In Carltonville. In a children’s’ park. Jou ouma se vuil gat. You’re fired. For incredibly bad taste. For being an ass kisser. For bringing your fiefdom in and trying to shove it down my throat. For, instead of using an opportunity to share and demonstrate community, rather opting for the same opgefokte doosgeid that made Eugene Tereblanche such a convincing dickhead, a tradition capably continued by such stars of the firmament as Julius Malema and even more established caricatures like Tony Yengeni and Robert McBride and all the other fat, pisscat assholes who got a job from dad. Almal afloat in hul eie unashamed kakwaters. You’re an iconoclast and the idols you destroy with your petty bullshit are our hopes of friendly getting along. Communal aspiration. Association. Just being cool as people together. Didn’t your mother teach you that the best route to congeniality is neutrality, especially when you’re fucking with public property? I paid for those poles, you stupid shit. If I had painted those recreational facilities, I would have put kids first. Just to begin with. Bright, happy primary colours, devoid of any even potentially misconstrued political overtones. Secondly, I would have considered yellow, black, white and turquoise people as well as the broad surrounds and been mindful of the aesthetic input I was giving too.
anc playground merafong 2The whole construct of authority due to government really gets up my ass when I see things like this. Het jy geweet, toe Eritrea van Ethiopia geskei het, het daardie nuwe government vir ‘n stipend gewerk, vir jare? Net lat die fokken eksperiment kan werk. Want hulle wou. Because they put their personal ambition aside and made the fucking country work. Of course, they’ve also banned opposition political parties, never instituting their land’s fine constitution so, beyond a certain point, a politician is always an asshole. But the point is – that kind of largesse you’ll never see here. Not here. Here you step into a role in local or national government feeling proud, like you’ve made it. Like you’re someone. You’re only someone to the extent that you’re a servant, you dumb shit. It’s all upside down. Instead of having to move out of the fast lane for a blue light brigade (and fok, how I’d like to shoot an RPG at you fuckers) you should be pushing a broom in the yellow lane. Get it? You’re a civil servant. You’re here to serve. Serve me and all of the other over taxed, bumfucked-by-price citizens in this fine country.

You don’t make Carltonville Merafong, you just make it a soviet shit stick, painting your party colours on children’s stuff.

Maybe it was coincidental. And maybe the painter took creative license. And maybe many maybes. But whoever has jurisdiction over that little happenstance – and he or she is there, sitting fat, feeling smug – you need to take responsibility for this minor tragedy on South African soil. Whole new idea hey? Accountability. And repaint the fucking poles, asshole. And pick up all the shit that’s lying around. Have some pride, take some pride in your surrounds, your community, your own fucking abilities.

Jislaaik. Did I say this already? You’re an asshole!
anc playground merafong 3

Watkykertjie bydraeDear ANC, you are assholes!


  1. Jagged John

    The only thing necessary for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing. DO SOMETHING!

  2. fran

    dis die sadste fokkin parkie in die heelal ooit

  3. David

    Ek was nog altyd onder die indruk Comrade is Russies vir Kont

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