Half Price – Dik gevaarlike Ska Punk Legends

In Snotstories deur Christo Brandbruggies12 Eiertjies

Dis ‘n feit soos ‘n koei, ons almal like dit om shit verniet te kry. Dis ook ‘n feit soos ‘n koei dat “ ‘n feit soos ‘n koei” glad nie fokken sense maak nie. Maar kom ons fok nou nie rond met die Afrikaanse voorvadergeeste nie, hulle het darem vir ons mooi woorde soos poespas, tondeldoos, hottentotsgot en aambeie geskep.  Anyway, terug na die freebies! Freebies is lekker, behalwe daai kak wat hulle deur jou venster try pos by die robots, veral as dit is een is van Dr. RAMAHADANHA wat jou tune hy genees fokken alles onder die son met ‘n ‘n pasgebore jack russel se stert, R150 van jou hard-earned zak en bietjie high tech voodoo magic.  Ek skiem  hy het sy kak maniertjies by die Gummi Bears geleer. Nie daai Gummi Bears nie, dié Gummi Bears, die fucked up enes..

Hoor jy wat tune daai een met die hoedjie. Selfde wat die toordokter jou gaan tune na hy jou uit jou geld uit genaai het. “Siemsalabiem ek vat jou vir ‘n doos..” Is ja, jy gaan probably nogsteeds nie die Lotto wen nie, en ongelukkig gaan daai toets nogsteeds positief uitkom more.. Eish, askies ne!

Die brasse van Half Price het in Desember besluit hulle gaan hulle befokte albums pasella maak om te download op hulle website. Nou gaan jy dalk skiem, “So wie of wat is Half Price?”

Half Price is een van die befokste ska punk bands ooit in die geskiedenis van Zuid-Afrika, dis maar ‘n  feit soos wat ‘n feit ‘n fokken feit is. Ek dink half pricein my rondval jongdae het my toggos ‘n solid 5 cm extra gesak van boogie  op hierdie ouens se tunes. So paar jaar gelede het ek in ‘n fucked up Volla gesit by die beach saam met my buddy Tjokka, Sahawi  loose draws en Black Label quarts,  wat ons met bruin munte uit die asbak en empties se deposits gekoop het. Dik fancy. Fok ons het gepaartie in daai kar op Half Price se tunes elke middag.  En vandag, jare later, kan ek nogsteeds hulle cd opsit en dit fokken amp my heavy vir paartie. Hulle guitar klanke is soos  stroopsoet heuning wat afloop teen ‘n upmarket stripper se borste. Hulle lyrics is soos die Tokolos se umthondo, lank en kriewelrig.  Hy kruip by jou oortjies in en maak liefde met jou brein. Maar lekker liefde, nie soos daai liefde wat jy kry in die selle nie, maar net so agressief.  Hulle tunes gaan baie oor bier drink en kaalgat rondhardloop en piele swaai en zaber en bier drink en road trips maak en bier drink. Maar fok, kom ons wees eerlik,ons like eintlik om daai dinge te doen.  Mens kan relate met die bra’s se lyrics, want hulle maak ook uit van fokkol geld he nie, en te lelik wees om broeksnoek te kry, net soos baie van ons ook!. Dis straight forward lekker  tunes vir wanneer jy en jou gabbas fles vat en bietjie wil koppie skud.
Een van hulle kief musiek videos van die olden days

Hulle tweede laaste album is BANNED genoem. Hierdie perde is veban by party venues want hulle smaak van Jagermeister by die fokken liters in jou keel af gooi. Dit en om al hulle kleertjies uit te trek. En jy sien, as dit gebeur dan smaak die tjerries daarvan om hulle tieties vir die res van die latest HP albumcrowd te wys, en ek het nie ‘n probleem met tieties nie. Die eerste keer het ek kaalgat opgeeindig op die stage, amper my fokken ribbes gebreek teen ‘n speaker, die tweede keer het ek rondgehardloop met ‘n boob tube vir ‘n onderbroek, my klere is gesteel, bouncers skiem die boer is fokken mal. Nou ja dis hoe hulle shows gaan, jy tune jouself altyd voor ‘n gig; “Myself, hou groot samblief jou broek aan vannaand, jy’s al mooi groot.. Moenie dat ek weer praat nie.” En hier na bier nommer  17 ruk jy die matte van die venue se vloer af, Half Price se musiek pomp deur jou ore en deur  jou are soos met daai girl in Matrix 2 wat fokken wille climax op die fiena  kry van daai gedokterde sny koek. Dink mooi, jy maak uit? Jy hang aan die dak se balke, jy is op daardie oomblik volledig devolve na ‘n guerrilla ondier, en jy fokken like dit kwaai.
Ek het nou genoeg gepraat vir eers, hier is die link na hulle webpage, wees nou slim en download eers die eerste album TAKING LIFE SERIOUSLY, dis hoe mens dinge doen. Kronologies.

http://www.drunkpunk.co.za/

Gaan browse net op die main page, jy sal die links vir downloads daar kry. Speel DRINK ALL DAY elke dag na werk, koop ‘n quart Zamalek, skud jou fokken boude soos ‘n mal mens.

Homosexual Pete, DFG, I salute you!

 

Christo BrandbruggiesHalf Price – Dik gevaarlike Ska Punk Legends

Comments

  1. Dirk Diggler Diktros

    Legend.  U ain't seen nufffin til u've seen this pappa……Daai is die dae, toe manna manne was en boerbokooie (en ramme) bewerig as n man naderkom en hulle hoor rits losgaan…..as ek so daaraan dink, was dit basies alle plaasdiere, pluimvee, sommer van jongs af…..die enigste ding met bene wat veilig was-in n mate was meubels, die res, wel dis was sommer dispstiek nagmaal oppie plek – daai hanslam kan lekke lek, wat se ek Zepher, Vlaknaai, Prof, Lass en julle anner jagse goed geletterde bliksems lesers? DDD

  2. Prof. Bokdrol

    Ek het fokkol verder om by te voeg – DIS die real WKJ van jarre gelede!

  3. PinkTankTop

    Jissis maar daai goose met die swat en rooi rokkie is fokken hot!
    Kom na papa, hy waa vi djou!

  4. verbaas

    Die knape is maar flippin boring – standaard punk riffs, so semi-"slim" lirieke" en dis al wat hulle na die tafel bring.  WKJ se "fans" glo dis die beste musiek ooit,  Steve  Hofmeyer se snert is is op dieselfde standaard.  Maar gelukkig is Mnr Diktros & Prof Bokdrol daar om hul lofsang toe te dien. Die knapies is so gemiddeld soos Koos Kombuis, behalwe dat hulle wit onnies dra. Elke "song"  klink dieselfede. Dis geen wonder dat hulle die "albums" verniet weg gegee word nie – geen mens sal daarvoor betaal nie.
    Die punk band is so gemiddeld soos – "Wyle dr. Verwoerd"  en daai ouens was fokken kak.
    2004 tot nou en geen deurbraak – word wakker en sing liefdes liedjies……, al gaan dit oor moffies in wit onnies.

  5. Prof. Bokdrol

    Verbaas, word die fok wakker, bra; ek praat van die artikel, nie die musiek nie – posts soos hierdie is klassieke WKJ Gold. Gaan lees die afgelope 10 jaar se stuff oor Spuitieland, Bulldogs, Antarktika ens. ens. ens. en jy sal hopelik verstaan.

  6. Author
    Christo Brandbruggies

    @Verbaas.  Almal like wat hulle like, dis jou keuse. Maar jirre, die feit dat jou eerste reference na local musiek Steve Hofmeyr en Koos Kombuis is, vertel baie van jou blootstelling aan SA musiek. Fokkit ek dink nie iemand het al ooit Half Price en Steve Hofmeyr in in die selfde discussion ingebring nie, well done. Jy het obviously ook nie meer as 2-3 van hulle songs geluister nie, want hulle tunes klink nie virrefok als dieselfde nie, party is harde electric en bass, en daar is weer wat moer rustig is, party feature die hele band, ander net Pete of net DFG, wie nooit dieselfde stemme sal he nie. Dink jy moet jou oortjies laat uitspuit by die dokter.

  7. Prof. Bokdrol

    As ek 'n beskeie straaltjie tussenin mag pis:  Ska is 'n unieke klank en dit vat heavy skills om daai off-beat ritme te skryf (ek het iewers in my CD kas nog 'n Madness CD van lank lank gelede – onthou iemand nog "One Step Beyond?) en tensy jy heeltemal fokken toon-doof is kan enige doos hoor Stief Dofmeyr en KK is sovêr daarvan verwyder soos wat Juju se Engels van Queen Liz s'n is. Na 'n blik baked beans kan ek meer melodieus poep as wat Stief kan musiek skryf…

  8. Prof. Bokdrol

    NS: my kollega Dr. Onk die v(f)ieslikeloog het 'n special aan hierdie week – spuit een oor uit en kry die tweede oor se spuit gratis by Dr. Uba, jy kan sommer betaal met jou linkerbal!

  9. Tjokka

    Well said bra! Maar hoe kan jy se die ou beetle was fucked? Karlos was legend! Hehehehe….

  10. Homo Pete

    dis ons tien jaar verjaarsdag, jullle suid afrikaaners is welkom!
    Half Price – 10 years of D.I.Y. debauchery

    In a spectacular double-whammy, HALFPRICE are throwing an avant-garde 10 year birthday celebration coinciding with the annual big-fat-titty festivities live @ the purple turtle on the 15th June.

    Lineup:
    Peachy Keen
    Alive at Midnight
    Half Price
    Sabretooth

    *********************
    Perhaps most famously known for the punk-rock melody “I Iike big fat titties in my face” and other pub sing-a-long drinking anthems, what is less well documented are the dichotomies characterising the band, and how these vast differences have driven these guys to keep going, while most of their rock n’ roll contemporaries have a lifespan of only a few years. Critics find it hard to take this band seriously, a google search yields quotes such as: 

    “The introduction for Half Price included a giant blow up dildo – not too sure what the significance of that was but it definitely got the crowd excited”.
    “Wow. How can I sum up this band? – The first thing you might notice is they are usually pretty naked on stage”. 
    “Through their lyrics they generally like to express their true love for beer, underage tits, hating hippies, getting banned from venues, and the horrible list goes on”. 
    “A large man (the DFG) with no addition to his birthday suit on but for a pair of ugly underpants and pink fluffy bunny ears walked past. I called him sexy, which of all the available responses, inspired anger for some unknown reason.”
    “…A true drunken punk rock band.”
    “Obscene hand signs and words are characteristic of Half Price, they scream of happy anger and seem to enjoy every minute of being on stage.”

    Reflecting on the above, I found myself intrigued…What type of band markets themselves as being drunk? Are they promoting gratuitous self-indulgence as a matter of course? Why would the reasonably well educated band members write songs titled ‘camps bay sluts’ & ‘I drink all day’? – How could this type of bizarre ensemble persist in Cape Town’s tiny cut-throat music industry for 10 years? What is even more bewildering is that the band has shared stages with the Mad Caddies, the Exploited & Frenzel Rhomb, Culture Beat and toured Europe…TWICE!, and, played regular festivals in Namibia, Johannesburg, Durban and Cape Town. 

    I caught up with Markus, better known as the DFG, one Sunday after Church and asked him to say a few words about the last 10 years of HALFPRICE…….

    “Yeah – its hard to believe that we’ve been jamming together for 10 years now, it’s been one hell-of-a-ride”.

    “I think most bands form because (a) they want to make music (b) they want to have fun and (c) they want to get laid – even though they wouldn’t admit it. These 3 commandments have been the principle foundations for all HALFPRICE song writing and decision making. The first few years were consummated with immoral self-indulgence and mindless depravity. We became reputed as South Africa’s drunkest most naked band *laughs* Sure we have a bad reputation – we’ve even been banned from 3 different venues in Cape Town for our drunken shenanigans. However, despite popular belief, we are not a bunch of drunken sexists.”

    “We actually started out as a political thrash punk rock band, but have since given that up almost completely, for we definitely are about 90% politically incompetent and about 10% politically incorrect. Instead, we decided to rather use sarcasm and satire to get our point across about issues we felt that needed to be addressed. However, I think much of our audience have misunderstood a lot of the satirical lyrical content of songs such as H.I.V, Black and white, Homo pete’s love song, Camps Bay Sluts (rambles on…). People who are quick to dismiss us tend to be people who take themselves and life in general, far too seriously.”

    “I think a part of the bands evolution was a realisation that because of our core foundation, it was almost impossible to entertain the notion of any kind of professional backing. Consequently, the band developed a Do-It-Yourself independent work ethic”. We organised our own shows, our own tours, did our own promotion and recorded our own records. 

    “The secret ingredient is…we really just want to have fun! Simple plain honest fun! We thrive on playing live shows in strange places to new people. Unlike many of our contemporaries, making money has never featured on the HALFPRICE agenda. In the early years we would drive as far as Bloemfontein to play a free show if we thought it would be worth it. One weekend we drove all the way from CPT-JHB-DBN (in 3 days) on the ‘dirty under-wear road trip’ tour”

    “The Purple Turtle will always be a special venue for HALFPRICE, we had our first gig there 10 years ago in 2001 and here we are now, in 2011 – still bringing you the kind of entertainment money just can’t buy”. 

    The dialogue with the DFG sheds some light on what has driven HALFPRICE over the last 10 years, and yields insight into the birth and continuity of the bands diligent independent DIY work ethic. Cape Town’s younger bands could learn a lot from these stalwarts. 

    True to their DIY ethics, HALFPRICE recently held an online poll on who should support them at their 10th birthday party and we are happy to announce the final line up: HALFPRICE 10th Birthday Party live @ the Purple Turtle on the 15th June with their friends Peachy Keen, Sabretooth & Alive at Midnight. As a once of special for their 10th birthday HALFPRICE is selling all their merchandise for R50 per item. Also expect giveaways, cheap booze, titties, batsu games and other bizarre forms of entertainment 

    http://www.drunkpunk.co.za
    http://www.facebook.com/halfpricepunk
    http://www.myspace.com/halfpricepunk

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