Sipho tune Steve Hofmeyr.

In Zefgatte in die nuus deur griffin30 Eiertjies

Ek het vir Sipho Hlongwhane van Mail & Guardian se Thoughleader gevra of ons sy ope brief aan Steve Hofmeyr hierso op Watkykjy kan drop, want dan hoef ons nie een te skryf nie.

Sipho, bly net weg van Sun City se Palace af as Steve ook daar is. Netnou eet hy jou een teen die oor met ‘n teekoppie. Lyk my die bra is deesdae so up in arms dat hy sommer die piering en die teelepel ook na jou kan toe sal swing.


Need any help removing your head from your arse, Steve?

Dear Steve Hofmeyr,

We’ve never met, and what I know of you is what I’ve gleaned from newspaper and magazine articles that detail your suburban conquests there in the East Rand, or wherever your haunt is. You don’t know me, which I’m perfectly happy with.

Despite all this, I decided to write this little letter to you. I think you already know what it’s about. Ja, seriously, dude. What was that hissy fit you threw the other day all about?

I wasn’t going to write to you at first, not wanting to legitimise your childishness, but then I thought about all those poor people who take you seriously, and it is for their sake that I write this.

“You must appeal to base sentiment as Africa has yet to yield a single intellectual, a single thought school, a single intellectual thought not inspired by the very West you and Mugabe detest.”

Seriously, Steve? Is that what you think of Africa?

You think you’ve got problems with Julius, Steve, what about me? Every time this guy gets onto a podium, he proffers to speak on my behalf, just because I’m young and black and not that well endowed, materially speaking. He shoots the boer, in my name. He calls Helen Zille all sorts of nasty things, in my name. He insults Patricia de Lille, in my name. He goes to Zim, gets a big pat on the back from that dictator, in my name! He tramples on constitutional values, in my name.

Well, here’s a bomb shell for you, Steve. Julius Malema and the ANC Youth League do not speak on my behalf. And I know of many young blacks who cringe every time he opens his mouth to speak. The media aren’t so interested in what we have to say, of course. I mean, not being insulting isn’t as newsworthy as being insulting.

Do you know how difficult it is to have to answer for Malema every time I’m with white people, Steve, just because I’m young and black? Do you know how much that frustrates me? And I’m not alone in this. I know I’m not the only one.

Julius is now banned from singing “shoot the boer”. Well done to you and your AfriForum tjommies, by the way. That’s him told. But he’ll still be black and controversial tomorrow. He’ll still get up and say those things on my behalf. That’s not going away any time soon for me. So before you paint us young blacks in one massive stroke, remember me.

I also find it quite funny that you “own” Westernism, just because you’re a white man. Don’t give me that “us” vs “you” nonsense. Where were YOU when the printing press was invented, Steve? Where were YOU when the nuclear bomb was invented? Did you help Gottlieb Daimler with that first motor vehicle? Did Thomas Edison consult with you when he had that light-bulb idea? Until Julius Malema drives a car that YOU built, and wears a shirt that YOU designed, don’t come at me with that humus.

The irony of having to hear a lecture on originality from a man who sings Neil Diamond covers for a living isn’t lost on me either.

Steve, here’s a word of advice. I know you mean well. You had the moral upper hand and everything, but you squandered it by being a cracker. Leave this sort of thing to the people who know what they’re doing when they put pen to paper, alright? Go back to doing whatever it is you do when you aren’t riding bike in the veld. Go back to impressing suburban housewives with that lush goatee of yours.

Warmest regards,

Sipho Hlongwane

griffinSipho tune Steve Hofmeyr.

Comments

  1. mmmmmmmm

    funny Siph's, that Steve didn't become famous for doing diamond covers, btw, which brings the question to ju.smells like your name isn't really Sipho, and your behind isn't really black?

  2. Author
    griffin

    Are you daft? Did you not understand the little intro paragraph? Sipho Hlongwane works for the Mail & Guardian. Now go back to forwarding those mails to your colleagues. You know, those ones you don’t check out on snopes.com first.

  3. Julius Malema

    Shweet Ssheepo, let me just say, I am young and I'm white and while I understand where Steve is coming from, I don't really like it that he represents afrikaners.
    good on you chomma, bakgat

  4. Kneel

    Go Sipho. Steve se poes! Die ou is n naaier. Hy praat nie vir my nie. Hy en Ju Ju moet n braai hou want hulle altwee is vok kak. Sipho ons mense moet nou  saam staan hierdie wit swart ding is n klomp bok tos.  Soos my sarge in die army vir my altyd gese het jy maak nie van kak steak nie!

  5. Jagse Karel

    Marius jou ma se poes. Ek was nooit regtig n Steve Hofmyer fan nie, maar het baie respek vir die man gekry toe hy opgestaan het teen Julius se haat spraak teen wit mense. Steve het nooit gese hy het karre ontwerp of die gloeilamp uit gevind nie. Hy het gese dat dit n wit mens wat dit uit gevind die einste wit mense wat Julius so haat. Marius kom fokken by man, kyk wat om jou aan gaan jou slapgat poes.

  6. Joe

    Well done , Sipho. Bakgat even!
    Ek voel soos Sipho – gatvol vir die AWB poepolle wat dink hulle praat namens my en net die Afrikaners se naam gat maak.

  7. Jaco

    steve en Sipo se ma se poes!
    ek like nie 1 van die 2 naai nie! die media blaas bal soos alle naaiers!

  8. Polla G

    Jirre my blare die vokken kak wat in ons land aan gaan sal ek eerder ou steve in vokken Julius se plek wil he, maar om eerlik te se ek dink Casper de vries sal die beste ANCYL wees……. Ek is volbloed afrikaans en so gebore hulle sal mar moet sien hoe ver hulle kom met al die kak van hulle..

  9. Felix

    Ekse Sipho, tune ou Steve where to get off the bus my ma se kind. I am a big fan of this website for a very long time, I learned how to make my own biltong in my "barfroom" from these zef oukies, I read their exlpoits in Nigeria many moons  ago and so forth. Griffin thanks for printing that letter to ou "Ek's Jou Pa" Hofmeyer. From a Darkie Ouk. Zef Kwaai  !

  10. laageen

    Weer bedank ek die span vir die lekker mind fuck na die zol en giggel met die SIPHOSTE storie vir n tyd. Tussen ons, wat maakit saak of sipho wit, swart of pienk aand die binne/buitekant is? ek weet net dit maak mos nie sin dat 90% tot 97,875%  v d wereld (behalwe groterige dele van VSA -ones still living the american dream- en grootste gedeelte van VK) nogal draaglike siele is.
    Dis wel ongelukkig ook dat milderes nie te ongeduldig word nie. Ek rook gunston sonder filter. Watter klomp kak en hoeveel klomp kak kan die massas nie van die drolle vat nie en hoekom begin watkykjy nie n onafhanklike web based tv stasie nie?
    as die gemaskerde britte en yankies altyd so lekker poes comments plakkate by ralleys wys  (geen moslem man wat uit die koran lees mag sy gesig bedek nie) soos kill the christian/jew pot snoten  voor die lense druk dan verstaan ons mos goed wat die mooi en eerlike mainstram media doen met aanhoudilike verdeling en stereo tipe konstruksie (desktruksie).
    Ons kom van soveel meer mild moeders en broeders as hierdie fokkers (nie my ma nie) wat ons so probeer verdeel in en brand as aidsgesmeerde, necklace burners tot lang baard super elvis van gras land en natuurlik die bomskok sand kwaggas wat net terroeris rolle in hollywood block basterds uitgebeeld word.
    Eendrag maak mos mag. 2drag en ons word verkrag.
     
    ps fok al die steve mofreier haters. hy sal altyd die man agter elke man wees want ons het mense soos hy nodig wat ons kan laat diep lag. Dis gesond.
    van n homesick coloured in die arab kalahari
     
      

  11. Leeukuil

    Stevie  kan nie sing nie, hy skree.  Hy is nie 'n Wonder nie, ook nie 'n Diamond nie.  Nog minder is die dom donner 'n verteenwoordiger van die Afrikaner. Dis 'n cheap trick wat die ou trek om shine te vang, want hy is eintlik fokkol werd, die werfetter.

  12. Pafus

    Enkos' Sipho. Well thought, well said, jy laat my beter voel. Stofseyer means well maar hy het soms sy voorvel oor sy view. Hy vat homself vir 'n groot dinker maar sy bek sit te maklik op loop met hom (net soos you know who). Maar minstens het hy balle. Dit help al. 

  13. Author
    griffin

    Dis omdat jy soos ‘n nazi kont tekere gaan.

  14. Benzarto

    Ek smaak ou Sipho se writing na daai naaier kwaai…Wie de poes dink hy is hy om alle non whites met dieselfde condom te naai???
    Hy en Julius dalla altwee buites…..Ons het fokken met diktrille nodig om n verskil te maak…
     
    Grifiies,jy het daai Nazi-kont reg gese…LOL

  15. Jason

    Good show – Bruce does need a flattie, like all of us every now and then.
    Just wondering when Siphs wrote 'YOU' did he mean 'Huisgenoot'?
    And 'light bulb idea' is a very difficult concept to get my head around after all this rooibos. Which came first – the light-bulb moment or the light-bulb?

  16. Flip

    Sipho, verry well said! Die rasse kak is mar net n money train wat die media ry. Dit veroorsaak net fokken onnodige histerie. Ek se fok rasse haat en daai kak. dit is net die bras wat daar bo sit en ballas bak en niks het om met hul tyd te doen nie, wat die vlammetjie probeer stook vir fok weet watse rede. Ek as gemiddelde mens in suid afrika worry net oor of ek genoeg skulle gan he teen die einde van die maand om n pakkie skywe en n branna te kan koop. Die man wat saam my in die every day lewe is, wit of swart, maak nie saak nie! Juju en Steve, hulle amal kan mar gan kak, wat hulle se is irrelevant op my lewe vandag!!!
    Vrede

  17. Aap, maar OU Aap!

    Perhaps I am from another planet…. For the record, I do actually swear. I just cannot fathom why the majority of the people on this site have to be so extremely vulgar when they write comments. Does this make you more of a MAN. Does it mean that if I don't swear or use crude and vulgar language I am a sissy? Please, say your say, vent your frustrations and air your view, but for the sake of sanity, TRY and swear a little less, or is that asking too much? I will probably be asked to leave this site after this comment!

  18. Author
    griffin

    Nee, jy is fokken welkom hierso, hoor.

  19. Poespoep

    Liewe ou Aap.

    Fokof asb. Ons kom nie in jou huis in en tune jou skeef nie. So fokof asb. Ek is seker Die Huisgenoot het ook ‘n blog oor Steve. Skryf daar iets as jy wil neul. Ou Aap maar nuwe poes. Fokof asb.

  20. Tokkie

    lekker. ek is al vir jare fokken gatvol vir steve hofmeyer wat sy ou-oom gat politikus/denker hou. stick met jou kak albums dude.

  21. Pitte

    Ek sal betaal om te sien hoe Steve en hierdie Sipho fokkertjie mekaar bliksem. 

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