Yesterday evening started off by going to a friends place here in Abuja after work for some drinks. The host’s butler made sure that our glasses were filled at all times and made sure no-one ran out of ice.
From there we proceeded to the huge balcony while music was booming through the home-entertainment centre. We had some Dunhill cigars. Weird, aparently they are Cuban handrolled cigars, while Dunhill is actually a South African brand – something I wasn’t aware of.
The most interesting conversation apart from last week’s unbelievable cricket match between SA and the Aussies, was Sherm’s story of his hi-jacking about a year ago. Unbelievable shit! Aparently the fuckers wanted to hi-jack his neighbour’s brand new BMW. The dude had his kids with him and basically told the hi-jackers that they are not taking his car and that they can rather kill him. Guess what? It actually fucking worked! They they fled, the guy called the police and three days later they came back for Sherm’s BMW.
At first he thought that the hi-jackers was one of his friends that came to show off his brand new 7 series. He was wrong. It was three guys. With guns. Big shiny fuck-off guns. He said he thought he was going to die. He just handed his keys over and said “Just take the car guys. Take it, here’s the keys.” They would have none of that. They knew that the car was fitted with Tracker. Sherm had to go with. They shoved him onto the backseat while pointing the gun at the back of his head all the time and started driving. They pulled a beanie over his head and he had to keep his head down. Sherm said that the guys were pushing the car to its limit. He could actually hear the engine cut out every now and again. If they hit the slightest bump (around speeds of 200 – 250 km/h) a bullet in the head was a sure thing. Understandably every hostage situation from every movie he has ever seen played through his head.
Eventually they stopped somewhere, let him out and made him walk towards the bushes, still pointing the gun to his head. Everything was done with military precission and the criminals came across as educated and spoke fluent English. They gave him some money to make phone calls, got into the car and disappeared. Around thirty minutes later the car crossed the border and got lost in the statistics.
It is often said that almost every South African knows someone that has been a victim of a robbery, hi-jacking or other form of violent crime. Sherm told us that 4 of his best friends all are victims of hi-jacking. We joked that between him and his friends, they managed to singlehandedly fuck up the six degrees of Kevin Bacon.
South Africa can be tough place sometimes.
An update to this post for now reason, 2 years down the line is to just test if I can rank somewhere on Google for the search phrase “Coolest guy on the internet”. Justin Hartman seems to be running a competition in his company. I am in no ways part of if. This is just a test to see if people who search for Vernon Koekemoer, who by all rights is the coolest guy on the internet, will come across this post. Obama, Richard Branson, the guys from Google – Larry Page and Sergy Brin could also rank up there, but I think Vernon will get people to this post. Maybe I will update this. Oh ja, Seth Rotherham should be the coolest “real” person on the internet. And so should the guys from watkykjy (us).