Yay vir female pro surfers! Yay vir Sally Fitzgibbons! Sy her reeds op 14-jarige ouderdom die Australian Junior Pro open gewen, ‘n contest waar female surfers 21 of jonger moet wees. Sy was die jongste ooit om dit te wen. Sy het nie daar gestop nie. As ons al haar accolades gaan moet bespreek, gaan ons heeldag hier sit. Ons kan dalk net noem dat sy in 2012 die heel eerste Australian open gewen het nadat sy die US open ook gewen het, wat haar detyds die enigste persoon gemaak het wat beide titles in een jaar gehou het.
Ons (griffin & chopper) se boek, Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Als Tos? word hierdie jaar (2019) teen Augustus se kant 11 jaar oud. Om dit te celebrate het ons besluit om alfabeties met die lys af te gaan en ‘n paar topics uit die boek te kies om weekliks hier op Watkykjy te publish, seinde dat ons die regte besit. Dis lekker kort stukkies wat jy op die kakhuis kan lees. Dink daaraan as jou klein zef kakhuisbybeltjie met pitkos vir elke dag… Wel, elke dag tot ons die boek se einde bereik.
Meisies met seunsname As jy nie seker oor jou kind se geslag by geboorte is nie, moenie oorywerug raak net omdat jy ‘n geboortesertifikaat wil indien en dit agter die rug wil kry nie. Wag ‘n dag of twee. As daar nie ‘n tottie uitpop nie, is dit ‘n dogtertjie. Gee haar asseblief ‘n dogtertjienaam.
As jy egter regtig daarop aandring dat die arme siel haar broodjies alleen moet eet, elke pouse vir die res van haar skoolloopbaan, gaan all-out en gee haar ‘n ordentlike seunsnaam soos Theunis. Dit rym met penis en laat net soveel meer ruimte vir afknouing en verkleinering.
Is Dit Net Ek Of Is Al Tos is in 2008 geskryf en uitgegee en daar was so baie copies verkoop dat ons dit in 2009 laat herdruk het. All-in-all is daar nog net so 10 onverkoopte copies oor op aarde en ons sal teen Augustus se kant besluit wat om met hulle te maak. Kort antwoord – dis nie tans te koop nie.
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Loadshedding apart, this week has been fun, hey? Did you check that Woolies water challenge? If you didn’t see it, check it out below. It is basically four dudes walking in a shopping center, speaking a mix of isiZulu and basic English who then take a few swigs of Woolworths water, which changes their accents to posh pronunciation and using grootmenswoorde like ‘metamorphosis’, ‘photosynthesis’ and ‘amalgamate’. Very fokken fancy and a very funny and original thing to pull off!
This started a moerse trend on Twitter with people across Mzanzi joining in on the fun, making #WooliesWaterChallenge trend kak hard all over the place. There was even a dude from Joburg, Blake Dell, who did the most successful opposite of the video, going from his normal Joburg accent in English to isiZulu. Totes hillairs!
But as with all things lekker, there always has to be that one fokken nool (nool is basically a doos, but the nerdy version) who tries too fokken hard and spoils the party. Not only do they try too hard – it is normally also a few days too late, after the joke has somewhat evaporated. In this case, we have two fokken nole who came late to the party. With no gifts – Mmusi Maimane and The Kiffness. On the one hand a low energy performance by Mmaimane and on the other hand The Kiffness trying too hard and too loud. It is not even worth showing you their efforts. If you put these two okes together it is basically Chris Chameleon discovering the ice bucket challenge, but only next week, and trying to be relevant.
Nee, ouens. Jirre man.
At least put a better twist on it. Do the #CheckerChallenge with their house brand of boring cola , aanmaak koeldrank or muffins and have it change your accent to some breker from Benoni (toevallig also in the news this week for dishing out poesklaps at the country club, more than once): “Faark bru, this beverage is tit hey? I skiem I can like to pick up some binnets now and take her for a jol in my Corsa. Gonna pull into H2O one time! Let me just have that Checkers muffin as well so I can load lank carbs to drib the next gé who tunes me skeef, raaght in the snout, ek sê!”
Let’s rather head over for some premium entertainment, straight from The Plumlist – these okes cover everything you can stream in South Africa and this is the top 10 we’ve picked from their blog for this week:
10# Northern Rescue is a feel-good family drama that needs saving from cliché
In the second-last episode of Northern Rescue, John West is placed in a medical coma after a search-and-rescue operation goes awry. He enters a sort of semi-afterlife, where he meets his recently departed wife Sarah, and they spend the time holding and whispering to each other. Before he wakes from his coma, Sarah hands him a small key.
#9 Thee reasons we love Akin Omotoso’s colourful genius There’s no doubt about it – Nigeria is having a moment. Not only are South Africans blasting Naija music on every corner, but acclaimed Nigerian filmmaker Akin Omotoso recently caught the attention of celebrated US filmmaker Ava DuVernay, who has chosen to showcase Omotoso’s directorial success story, Vaya, on her distribution platform Array.
#8 Black-ish Dre and Bow are stoked when their son decides to take a year off from college and move back home. “I wasn’t really feeling college right now,” Junior says. To which Bow responds, “Everyone that I know that has taken a gap year is some rich kid who turns out to be a ski bum.”
#7 Get Shorty Chris ‘O Dowd is back as Miles, a criminal turned movie producer. But as the season kicks off, we find Miles in a dark place: drinking, sleeping around, and using intimidation to move his new movie project forward. Loosely based on the Golden Globe-winning film of the same name.
#6 Into The Badlands Since its launch in 2015, Into The Badlands has been the benchmark for martial arts and magic. There’s a mighty warrior. A mysterious boy he must protect. Frantic, well-choreographed fight scenes. Gorgeous cinematography.
#5 Sixteen Candles (1984) A classic teen romance starring Molly Ringwald as an almost 16-year-old whose family is so preoccupied with her big sister’s wedding that they forget her birthday. What else could possibly go wrong on her sweet sixteen?
#4 Lost In translation See Bill Murray in his excellent portrayal of a has-been movie star working on adverts in Tokyo. He forms an unlikely friendship with a beautiful newlywed (Scarlett Johansson) who is staying at the same hotel with her husband.
#3 Shadow, defender of Jozi’s streets and champion of women We talked about this one last week and here is a review. If you haven’t watched Shadow yet, what are you waiting for? The charming Pallance Dladla, formerly known for his role as Jabu on Isibaya, shows us a whole new side of himself as Shadow, a former inner-city cop who is hell-bent on fighting crime in the city of Johannesburg.
#2 The Kirlian Frequency In the midnight hour, a lone DJ broadcasts the strangest – and scariest – tales from the outer edges of Kirlian, a lost city somewhere in Argentina. Each episode is around 10 minutes long, and there are five in the season, so you can get through the entire thing in under an hour – if you can handle it.
#1.Vice Principals When the principal (Bill Murray) at North Jackson High School retires, he ignores the two vice principals Neal Gamby and Lee Russell, who were vying for the job, and appoints outsider Belinda Brown. Neal and Lee plot her demise.