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Alphabet insanity – hierdie dude rap teen die spoed van lig. Kwadraat.

In Fokken main videos deur griffin1 Eiertjies

Hierdie is fokken mal. Die bra rap about 456 keer vinniger as Ninja van Die Antwoord. Fokken dubbel like en Coke, bra! Kyk of jy kan saam rap. Ons het die lyrics onder die video gegooi.

I…Adamantly attack the alphabet
with an anecdotal algorithm made of Adamantium
I’m like an Adderrall addicted anaconda or an alcoholic
an asshole, like A-Rod, no anabolic s,
But I, brutally and beautifully butcher the banging beat
brushin’ bubbly allover your booby and booty beef
cause I’m a carpenter, when I come carvin’ your carcass
leaving all these carp fish crushed on the carpet
crumble chron’ with my Colorado and my Cal cronies
cram it full of condiments like it’s a Calzone
delicious! but I didn’t drive and drink
whether diamonds or dimes man I’m diving deep like an
electric eel, I’m elegantly eloquent and every cent I’ve ever earned
just entered me in the election
I got eleven brains like an enormously educated Einstein with Elephantitis
of the erection
a freak! I’m fighting with a flatfooted felon
five falcons just flew to a fountain, and fell in
Googling googly-eyed girls to get inside
golly gee from GlasGow to Guatemela’s gentrified
a hippopotamus is high on heroin he heckles me
and hires Haitian Hank to hand his hoe a hysterectomy
in hateful hieroglyph I hurl-out hyperbolic hubris
and hang with Hipster Helen the hooker with huge hips
I’m ill. I’m Icarus. I ignite idiots in idioms and issues
jumpy jargon I joust like Jacare jivin Japanese Judo and Jiujitsu
killin em like a kid.. got a Kilogram of Ketamine for Kwanza
in a knitted Kimono made out of Komodo Dragon skin
I’m richer than a Klingon kickin it at the Kremlin
but I kick through your door, kall me Kramer Kardashian
Lethal. Literally litter a little limerick
that be littler than a Leprechaun
a menace that’ll manifest the melancholy mayhem
makin a metamorphosis until mechanized like Megotron
Nick Nolte: a nerdy native of Nebraska
needs a neon ninja and a nectarine from NASA
Ominously, I mean it’s obvious you see a:
orthodontist oozing out oodles of onomatopoeia
Oswalt: Patton
pickin a pocket pluckin a patent
I pickle purple poop in Patron for pure passion
I got a question, I gotta quiz ya
should I quirk up the quotes and make the flow quicker
really getting ready for the revolution
reeled a rotten rhythm ring around a Russia Ronda Rousey resort
serve a simple sentiment a simile that’s smokin
like a sheet of Sudafed i’m swiftly swimming like a seahorse
TITTIES ON ATILLA TELL A TELLER THAT’LL TOE TAG
TERMINATOR GUN INSIDE A TURTLE TATTERED TOTE BAG
THUGS
ARE UN-AMERICAN UNATTRACTIVE AND UNWANTED AS AN UGLY PAIR OF UGG’S
VIVID AND VIVACIOUSLY VENOMOUS
With the wicked wombats only walking where women is
gettin xenophobic at the Xanadu
XoXo
Yippy-ki-yay,!
Yours’ Truly,
Mac
YES YO!!!

Oh shit, I forgot Z….Zebra.

Deel met jou tjommies!
griffinAlphabet insanity – hierdie dude rap teen die spoed van lig. Kwadraat.

Watkykjy Interview & gig review: Kataklysm

In Watkykjy Reviews deur griffin1 Eiertjies

Deur Chris Thundervolt en Henry Engelbrecht

Canadian death metal band, Kataklysm het onlangs hulle strain van ‘Northern Hyperblast’ metal hier na Suid Afrika toe gebring om net weer die metaalkoppe te herhinner aan hoe om die metal ding te doen. Sho, hulle was lekker. Tight, heavy, vinnig en groovy.

Ek en Big H het ’n lekker lang dag gehad. Ek het met rehearsals 08:00 begin, Wolmer Bush Lounge toe geskiet vir twee vinnige gigs en ’n paar biere, toe cruise ons deur vir die metal onslaught.

Die show was in Johannesburg by Carfax, georganize deur Witchdoctor Productions. Carfax het great gewerk en hulle het ’n mean sound uit die PA uitgekry daardie aand. Ons het arriveer met die soundcheck en ons kon sommer klaar voel hoe brom die kamer van antisipasie.

Ons skiet toe eers bietjie na Maurizio Lacono toe vir ’n interview en hier is wat hy getune het:
00_General_DSC_4666_1Chris: How was Cape Town? And how has South Africa been so far?
Maurizio: Beyond what we expected. We didn’t know what to expect coming here. We always knew that there were some fans here, but we didn’t know there was a scene. That’s the same question everybody asks. All the bands, we all have the same type of question mark. We were at Hellfest and Masters of Rock in Europe, and they were asking us “What are you guys doing after the tour?” and I was like: “We’re doing a couple of dates here then we’re heading to South Africa.” And they’re like “WHAT??” I told them we’re doing this, this, this, in full force and when we mention South Africa we get the ‘big eyes’ and “Let us know how it is.” And now that we’re putting pictures online and showing everyone what we’re doing, everyone wants to come. I think you guys are gonna get a lot of shows and a lot of good stuff is going to happen. I am just so happy that we’re here, we got the opportunity, and that Witchdoctor brought us over, that they believe in this. I think we’re stunned with the landscape and the people.

Chris: Have you learned any Afrikaans?
Maurizio: No, not yet. I’ve heard the Afrikaans language when people talk. It’s like a hardcore Dutch. I’ve heard “lekker” and “braai”. We haven’t had a braai, we’ve had some steak.

Chris: Kataklysm started off intense. What inspired you in the early days to play fast and heavy? Other bands/musicians? Was the musical level high?
Maurizio: Canada has always been known for it’s progressive edge. Bands like Rush, Voivod, Cryptopsy, Devin Townsend, etc. Everybody is out of the fucking box. It’s something in the water. Kataklysm, in the early days, we were one of those bands, we wanted to be really extreme. We wanted to be the most extreme band in the world. Then after we did Temple of Knowledge we thought we had reached the bar. 30 or 40 riffs a song, tempos that are crazy, singing over solos, things that have never been done before. Back then it was way ahead of its time and people were not ready for it. Now, it’s influenced a shitload of bands after us. Like Nile, those guys tell me “That record is the Kataklysm record we love.” But then, we felt, we wanted to become the band that was known for its songs. Things that would translate to the times. Songs like Shadows & Dust, we can not play a show without playing it. People will jump onstage and kill us. Crippled & Broken, and stuff like that. It’s just, we wanted to write songs. As we matured we became that type of band, and we’ve evolved. The latest record (Waiting for the End to Come), we’ve worked really hard on it, and it’s doing really fantastic for us, because it’s grabbing the ones from the early days and it’s keeping our fans. And it’s grabbing new fans that are like “Whoa, this is different!”. Bringing in grooves and melodies. It’s a melting pot, like a seafood platter. It’s got everything in it.

Chris: After 23 years what inspires you to keep writing new music, vocal content and new ideas?
Maurizio: We’ve always had an easy time with it. One thing is that we weren’t a band that went to the top right away, becoming the biggest band in death metal. We’ve always been a little bit of an underdog. Because we’re an underdog we’ve always thought that we’ve had to fight, and because of that we always said “We’re gonna show them on this record.”. So it kept us always hungry and I think it’s the best position to be at, and it’s kept us going for years. We make a decent living, and we love what we do. There is no bullshit, with Kataklysm, it’s an honest band. We can tour with anybody, we can tour with Slipknot, Deicide or Suffocation. We fit in anywhere. It’s lekker!

Chris: Describe your writing process in Kataklysm for the new album
Maurizio: Now we’re all living in different places. I live in Chicago, my guitar player lives in Dallas, and the other guys are in Canada. The internet made it possible. We’ll write over Skype sometimes. When it’s time to get together to put the finishing touches on. Then we get together and do it organically. It’s extremely important. You’ve seen Metallica’s video for One? That’s how we do it in the end. We get together and we write, if it feels good. We have to write for the function that it has to be great live. It has to be something powerful. We’re hard on ourselves as well. We don’t release anything or just put out a record. We have to like it, if the hair doesn’t stand up from our arms, then “No!”
00_General_DSC_4671_1Bile of Man en Sacraphyx was die opening bands gewees. Hulle het albei ’n moerse goeie show gegooi. Die skoen het gepas, en hulle het die regte metal bands gekry. Dis great dat SA Metal kan represent wanneer die bands kom kuier.

So deur Sacraphyx se set het Dave Oosthuizen aangehardloop gekom en dringend gesoek na ’n kurktrekker. Almal het vir Kataklysm lekker SA wyn gebring, maar niks om dit mee oop te maak nie. Ek noem toe vir Dave dat ek ’n trick het. Ons loop toe op, trek my skoen uit, en moer die bottel rooiwyn oop met ’n skoen teen ’n muur. Kataklysm was heelwat impressed en het darem iets in SA geleer.

Tyd vir die show, Kataklysm het ons weggeblaas. Die show het begin en dit was moshpit op circle pit op stage dive… Die fans het hulle kak verloor. Horries. Toe spring ek ook maar in. Ek is ’n moerse fan van die horries. Big H het voor gestaan en pics geneem, maar toe hy weer check word hy as trappe gebruik vir die stage divers. Niks kon hierdie passievolle metaalkoppe keer nie. Een na die ander het hulle aangehou en dit was soos ’n thrash show in die Bay Area in die ‘80s.

Kataklysm was net next level. Die ouens jol blêrrie goed. Hulle jol flatspeed die heeltyd. Hulle het ’n moerse set gejol. ’n Paar van hulle classics asook van die nuwe album Waiting for The End to Come af. Die drummer, Oli Beaudoin, is ’n masjien. Ek het gewag vir hom om te ontplof, maar hy was te goed. Die vocals en guitar-werk was ook uitstekend. Wêreldklas metal. Lekker man!

Witchdoctor Records het nou ’n paar bands wat oppad is waarvan Kataklysm een van die eerstes is. Die metal wat nou SA toe kom word groter en beter by die dag. Ek kan nie wag vir Sepultura, Behemoth, Belphegor, Fleshgod Apocalypse, en meer nie. Dankie Shaughn, Alec en Dave! Julle waai ons freak-flag lekker hoog.

Hier is ‘n paar foto’s van Big H, ons fotograaf, wat baie lucky is dat hy (en sy kamera ) die aand survive het…

Bile of Man:
01_Bile Of Man_DSC_4840_1-2Sacraphyx:
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02_Sacraphyx_DSC_5468_1
Kataklysm:
03_Kataklysm_DSC_5755_1-4

03_Kataklysm_DSC_5870_1

03_Kataklysm_DSC_6062_1-2

03_Kataklysm_DSC_6139_1-3

03_Kataklysm_DSC_6222_1

Deel met jou tjommies!
griffinWatkykjy Interview & gig review: Kataklysm

So wat is jou vyf jaar plan?

In watkykjy tips deur griffin1 Eiertjies

Peugeot 5 year planSoos jy ouer raak begin jy value sien in dinge wat maybe nooit vroëer vir jou saak gemaak het nie, want die lewe verander, jy check?

Date jy nog dieselfde goose of ou as vyf jaar gelede? Heel moontlik nie. En die main rede is dalk ‘n ou bekende – high maintenance, my bru. High maintenance. Die laaste ding wat jy soek in daai vier wiele wat jou by die graft kry om zak te maak, is high maintenance.

Gelukkig het Peugot daai kaart weggegooi want hulle het ‘n 5 jaar plan vir jou. Een sonder die bells en whistles, want as iemand my tune dat iets met “al die bells en whistles” kom trek my kop so bietjie skeef van agterdog. As jy iets aanbied, bied dit aan soos VAT – die prys wat jy sien is die prys wat jy betaal.

Peugot se 5-jaar plan is straight forward – met enige van hulle nuwe karre wat jy koop is al jou dienste en parte for free. Obviously sluit dit tyres en petrol uit, want niemand weet hoeveel petrol jy gebruik om jou tyres uit te spin nie. *lig hoed en frons vir die marabse van Pretoria-Noord*

Click hierso vir meer details oor hulle 5 jaar plan. En kyk sommer hierdie videotjie ook. Julle wat sopas deur ‘n emotional break-up is gaan identifiseer hiermee. En dan so bietjie huil met jou teddiebeertjie in die hoek van die kamer…

Deel met jou tjommies!
griffinSo wat is jou vyf jaar plan?